


dolls and seesaws

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-23
Updated: 2010-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:19:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slave-fic. Kam is bought as a birthday present for the young Count Heir Alexander of Southcliff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If Kam had been asked what he disliked about being a slave, the first thing to come to mind probably would have been that he couldn't choose his own master. Not that the question was likely to arise, never mind him having any influence over the issue in reality.

The thing was, Kam had had his share of masters. With only nineteen, he'd had the grave misfortune to land more often than not in the hands of men - and one woman - who had either a very short attention span, not enough money to keep him, preferred another slave without freckles suddenly, or possibly didn't like boys after all.

He'd never considered himself especially smart, so maybe it was no wonder that the faces were starting to blur together, he reflected as he lay on the cold stone floor in one of the holding cells of the auction house. He'd been in a steady home once, for one year, and that... well. He didn't want to think about that, it hadn't been a particularly good example of slave keeping. And after that, it had been a year in which he'd spent equal amounts of time at a new master's place until he was returned and waiting in the cells for a new master to buy him.

Maybe a mistress would be good this time. His only mistress had been a different pace from all the men who'd bought him before. At least she hadn't mistreated him - not that all of his previous owners had - and the fact that she'd only wanted him for pleasure and didn't expect him to hang around for anything else hadn't especially bothered him. If he could have chosen a profession, Kam was fairly sure he'd have picked something more solitary himself.

This was his second week at the auction house already, which was frustrating, but he tried not to drift into morbid thinking. He'd spent a whole month here once before, and still been bought; and it wasn't like they let their slaves go hungry. He could deal with the rest. It had been worse last winter. Summer were good months to be spent in the cells. The air was damp and warm-ish, so the cold of the floor was bearable. The faces in the cells left and right of him changed with predictable regularity, and he didn't pay them any attention except when they were loud or scared the other kids with their behaviour. But even then, they were quickly silenced.

Kam was bothered only by the fact that there were no windows. He could guess about any new day starting because every morning he was led upstairs by the two men keeping watch at the doors to the stairway and then prepared for another auction day, a hard scrub of his face and torso, distangling of his hair with quick, businesslike strokes; but the time between evening meal and the next morning passed slowly. He missed being able to watch the moon and the stars.

He fell asleep somewhere between counting the half-sobbing intakes of breath from the girl in the cell next to him (whom he pitied, he really did, but it wasn't like he could do anything for her) and dreaming, like every slave did, of a master who would treat him properly, give him the privacy he needed and bed him with more care than was the general experience.

 

~*~

 

"This one's nice," a voice to his left muttered. Female, older. Definitely older. But older was better, sometimes. His stomach had turned into a little ball of hard granite hours ago when the first people had noticed him, then discarded him again to go on to look for better merchandise. It was like this every day; Kam knew he should be used to this already, but the nerves and the embarrassment when he wasn't picked, and the humiliation when someone said something nasty or cutting about him - it never went away. He tried not to clench his hands to fists from fear of what this person had to say about his 'nature'.

"He's older, isn't he? Looks about nineteen." That was another voice. Male, this time. "He should have a slave who's more experienced, most other kids here are barely broken in."

He was allowed to look up when fingers grasped his chin and forced his face into the light. Another hand pushed his bangs out of his face, exposing his eyes and freckles.

"Looks healthy," the man said. He was taller than Kam, imposing, with a wide forehead and black hair. Judging by the clothes, definitely nobility. There were always a few nobles mingling in the auction house, though not very many. They preferred to make their deals in private, sell and buy from well-known handlers.

The woman was a redhead, a strikingly beautiful woman even though she was in her late forties already. They were her fingers keeping his chin up, and her hand wandering over his shoulders, his back, down his arms and his stomach, examining his skin for scars. Then it dipped lower to touch his genitals. That part always made Kam uneasy, even after so many times. At least, he thought with a feeling of relief, she didn't stick her fingers in him, like some others did. Unfortunately, there were no signs at auctions telling people not to touch the goods. It was an open for all buffet, though as far as Kam was aware, accounts were checked beforehand to only allow people in who could afford to buy.

"Look me in the eye, Kam," she suddenly said, and her voice was so authoritative that his gaze immediately swivelled and locked with hers. "Good boy." Kam felt himself flush at the praise. "You've been examined for diseases and injuries, haven't you?"

Kam nodded quickly, only a duck of the chin. Every slave was. The master of the auction house was very adamant about not selling spoiled ware, because it would sully his reputation. Kam got queasy just thinking about what he did with the sick children. He knew he was lucky he was strong and resiliant against all kinds of illnesses, and that he'd been fortunate that his masters hadn't infected him with some kind of disease. Otherwise, he'd have been another part of the pile of burning flesh by now.

"And you're healthy?" She sounded strict, but not unfriendly. "Don't dare lying, because if I find out later you've not told me the truth to get sold away from here, you'll be a lot more uncomfortable than if you'd spent the rest of your life in this place."

Kam nodded again.

"Speak, boy." The man sounded impatient as he looked around, rolling his eyes.

"I'm - healthy," Kam murmured softly. He really wasn't supposed to speak, and they probably knew it too.

"And mute, he isn't either," the woman exclaimed. "Very good."

"So it's him, then?"

"We'll have a look at his file, but from the looks of it, he'd be perfect, don't you think?"

"You're the one buying this present, dear, don't ask me."

The woman huffed. "You could at least give your input. It's not everyday -"

"- what? You buy your son a new 'plaything'? I remember the last one like it was only a week ago... oh, wait. That's because it was."

"But this one's beautiful. And Al has been wanting a slave forever."

"Well, he's getting his wish now, so sign the deal and rid me of his whining, will you?" The man sounded disgusted. "I swear, he's turning into a complete girl. No wonder he wants a slave. Probably help him dress up in those ghastly attires you buy him."

"Oh, shut up," the woman glared. "I'm not having this discussion with you again. And you've said yourself, he's an excellent hunter -"

"- rubbish with anything else but the shotgun, though."

"Well, never mind that. It's his birthday, he's seventeen now and legally authorized to own. Now, let's go see into his file, then, and we should be off, I still have that dress to buy from Silva, you know how long that takes, she always wants to drink a cup of tea while doing up the last stitches."

Kam tried not to watch them go, torn two-ways about that dialogue. For all he knew, they'd see his record and decide not to buy him after all, or they'd take him anyway, and he might be owned by some aristocratic brat. Not that he was complaining, because most nobility was at least rich enough to ensure he wasn't going to die of starvation, and again. It wasn't like he was in any position to pick and choose.

 

~*~

 

Al turned out to be Count Heir Alexander of Southcliff, which was almost as much a surprise to Kam as the fact that the Countess of Southcliff and her spouse had actually entered an auction house to find a suitable slave to their tastes. As if there weren't enough other, much cleaner and better-suited places to find a good slave. A slave with actual table manners, for example. Not that, Kam thought, he would be going anywhere near the Countess's table; he'd probably be spending most of his time in his master's bed or wherever they kept their other slaves.

He'd never seen their faces before, even in photographs or newspapers, not where he'd grown up anyway, but he'd somehow always thought that if a person who was more important than the occasional baron came by, he'd notice. Which was silly, because there had to be dozens upon dozens of people like that, but still.

 

Kam tried to stand as upright and yet look as unnoticeable as he could when the Lady led him into his new master's room the morning a week later. They'd bought him a day after the initial viewing, then there had been the usual paperwork to be done before they could take him and he'd only arrived the day before, had been washed and made presentable before being shoved into a room with four beds on three of which girls had been already sleeping. He was still wondering who they'd been. Other slaves, probably. They'd been long gone by the time he was woken up by one of the pages whom he'd seen around the manor when he'd first entered.

He knew he smelled nice, a different world from the stink he'd carried with him when they'd brought him here. Water wasn't exactly a luxury around these parts, but it wasn't cheap either, and certainly not cheap enough for an auction house owner to afford bathing hordes of passing slaves. His hair was untangled and rid of the dirt and dust and grime and had resumed its normal strawberry blonde color, curling around his ears.

The Lady of the house had been ecstatic when she'd seen him first thing, dressing him in a turquiose-blue tunic, the colors of her family. She'd patted his cheek, complimented him on cleaning up prettily and then shooed him and the accompanying page towards another hall in which her husband was still eating his breakfast and drinking what smelled like a cup of very strong coffee.

It wasn't that Kam was scared exactly to meet his new master - it was a procedure that was new every time, however, and he was scared he'd screw up badly in some way and they'd show him how they punished their slaves on the first day already. He didn't want to know. He just wanted to have a quiet little corner to himself and for the boy he would now belong to not to hurt him too badly. That wasn't too much to ask, was it? Kam wasn't sure. He knew most slaves didn't get either of those two things.

He didn't even realize for a while that the Lord and Lady had gone inside, leaving him out in the hallway for the moment, though his mind readily summoned the order he'd gotten: "Don't move. Stay here until one of us tells you to enter."

But by then, it was already time and the Lord was already opening the door to grab him not quite gently by the wrist and pull him inside.

 

~*~

 

"You're beautiful," was the first thing the boy specifically addressed him with, after his parents were gone. He'd looked plenty from beneath his long, dark eyelashes, both with longing and curiosity, but he'd only thanked his parents, never speaking to Kam directly until they were out of the room.

Kam lowered his chin and waited.

"Well, aren't you going to come here?"

"Yes, master," Kam said and forced himself to think of him as that, forced himself to stop saying 'the boy' in his mind, and substitute it with the proper title lest he slip up in the most inopportune moment. There would be no saving him if he did. He stepped towards the bed in even strides and sank to his knees at his master's feet. His legs were naked under his nightgown, his feet not quite as graceful as Kam would have expected from his father's talk. There were blisters and calluses from wearing heavy boots and running long distances.

"My mother has always had good taste," Alexander smiled down at him, petting his hair. "She buys me the prettiest uniforms, too. My father dislikes it when I dress up in fancy clothes, but I admit, I'm a horrible peacock."

Kam tried hard not to grin and failed as the corners of his lips twitched up.

"Oh, look, two minutes alone with me and you're smiling, there's a change from that stiff posture. That's my charm, you see? The girls go crazy for it, too."

That, Kam could believe, as he was handsome, with a roguish look about his thin mouth, high cheekbones and a slender, straight nose. There was a playful light in his amber eyes and he had his father's dark hair to match. Probably drove the boys mad too, unless he was giving it up to most of them. Which, from what Kam had heard during his childhood growing up, would fit exactly what people thought nobleboys his age were doing.

"Love the freckles, by the way," his master went on, as if he was used to holding long monologues. "If you tell me your name, I won't have to torment you by nicknaming you 'Freckles'."

"Yes, master," Kam said after two beats had gone by and he realized Alexander was waiting for a response. "It's Kam."

"Like from Cameron?"

"Just Kam."

"Right. I had a horse once that was called Cameroon. It was very gentle, I was still quite young back then, and my mother bought it for me so I could learn to ride. I liked it a lot. We'll get on marvellously as well, won't we? I always treat my posessions very well, don't you worry."

Kam blinked, and his stomach dropped with a harsh realization that while maybe, this arrangement wouldn't be quite as bad as he'd imagined back when he'd first learned who he would belong to, he'd started to build up a hope in those last few minutes that once again was disappointed. He always did, he couldn't help it, every time he got to know a new master, he hoped and hoped against all odds. And then, he always got hit by the truck of realization, sometimes sooner than later. After all, it was just like the Lord had said as his wife'd had his balls in her hand. Nothing more than a plaything, he was. Probably worth less, in his new master's eyes, than the afore-mentioned horse.

 

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

Since it was his master's birthday, Kam hadn't expected to spend a lot of time with him in the first place. He was proven right pretty soon, as Alexander was out of bed minutes after he'd finished another monologue, rummaging about in his closet for appropriate clothing. Since he hadn't ordered Kam to move or get up or come with him or help in any way, Kam stayed on his knees on the floor. At least, he thought with some relief, it was carpeted, and not the same cold tiles he'd encountered in the entrance halls and the kitchen and bath he'd been in.

"Well, this should do," his master concluded with a smack of his lips as he closed the doors to the closet at long least, holding a bluish uniform across his arm. "I'm actually supposed to let one of the servants do this, but I hate it when they come in my room before I call them in, it feels creepy to know someone's watching me while I'm out of it. So they stay out of the way until I call them." He turned to Kam and looked him up and down. "Since you'll be spending most nights in my bed, that will not be a problem, but I'm certain it'll happen that I might have other company over for which I won't need you, or that I want to be alone, in which case you're not to enter either. I'll show you your room once I'm finished here. I'm not quite sure how far my parents have explained about what you're allowed to do in the house...?"

Kam kept looking at him silently.

"You have permission to speak," Alexander finally sighed. "If I ask a question that is clearly directed at you, I expect you to answer."

Kam inclined his head in a nod. "Yes, master," he said. Then, as Alexander raised his eyebrows, he added, "The Lady and Lord haven't instructed me."

"Oh well, you are my slave, after all. I guess we'll have to do that in detail at some point." Alexander nodded, face thoughtful. "For now it should suffice that you know you may wander around the manor as long as you don't disturb anyone or don't get in the way. Don't enter any rooms with closed doors, though, and don't speak until spoken to. Most of my mother's slaves won't bother you, but if any of them talk, they'll have their reasons, you are to answer like you would to a superior ranked slave. I don't know about the hierarchy of such things, and technically, you're not even in the same one as they are, since you're mine and they're all my mother's, but I'm not taking chances of any of my mother's favourites telling on you to her. Not that they would, they're all adorable, but, you know. Better safe than sorry."

Kam listened intently, trying to save all the information in his brain as fast and permanent as he could. He doubted he'd interact with the household much, though, he'd never been in a big one like this, and it seemed an awful lot of trouble for a simple task like keeping out of trouble. And his master was right on one account, he certainly didn't want to offend anyone who could hurt him.

"Fine, now that that's dealt with, I'll have a quick bath." Alexander gave him a grin. "As much as I'd love for you to join, we've wasted enough time getting acquainted with each other, and anyway, I think I'll be saving you for tonight. Anticipation and all that."

Kam kept his face impassive as he watched his master stride through his room to a second door that apparently led to his private bath. He wouldn't have known what kind of expression to have anyway, if he'd been allowed to show his feelings clearly. There was too much confusion going on in his head, too big a jumble of conflicting reactions, and he was already overwhelmed by the onstorm of novelty. The thought of having sex in this moment only managed to turn his stomach, though obviously, if his master had insisted, he'd have performed his duty with his usual ruthless thoroughness. He was still glad he got the additional time to prepare himself, though.

It took his master the better part of an half hour to clean up, the water to stop running, and then it took him another quarter to do the rest of whatever it was he did while he was in the bath, including dressing up, as he emerged fully clothed finally. His eyes only widened a bit when his gaze fell on Kam.

"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised.

Kam blinked. "Master?" he asked, helpless. A sting of fear pained his stomach, a sudden knowledge that he'd done something wrong choking him from adding any more words.

"Why're you kneeling on the floor, still? That's gotta hurt!"

Kam slowly unfolded his legs, apparently not quick enough as his master hurried over and pulled him up by his upper arm, rising him into a standing position.

"Well?"

"I'm sorry," Kam apologized hurriedly. "I wasn't aware of an order to get up. Please, I -"

"No, it's okay, it's okay. I just - you're right, I didn't tell you to get up, damnit this is harder than I thought." Alexander frowned. "I don't suppose I can order you to - to behave more like a normal human being, right?"

For a moment, Kam thought his knees would give out beneath him, but then he steadied and the bile in his throat almost wasn't so bad. In comparison.

"Guess not. Huh. Uhm, look, Kam. Just - when you're in my room and I have to go do something, you have permission, always, to make yourself comfortable. I don't mind. Just don't go through my things, and we'll be fine."

"Thank you," Kam said, a little hoarse still from fear. "Master."

"Right, come on, then, oh shoot, I'm already late anyway, might as well make it fashionable and show you your room first. Do you have any personal bel-" He stopped himself. "No, I'm being stupid." He looked sheepish for a second, then he was grabbing Kam's wrist and pulling him along almost like Kam wouldn't go after him by himself.

They walked down a flight of stairs, then through a long, narrow hallway until they arrived what Kam's mental map of the manor pointed out to be the ground floor of the right wing. The kitchen was nearby, he remembered, but not quite here. Then Alexander led him up a second staircase, saying, "These are the servants' and slaves' quarters. We don't have too many - not half as much as you'd expect with my mother's preference for extravaganza, hah. But there are quite a few. Most servants are downstairs, the doors we passed on the floor below, you'll be up here. Don't disturb the other slaves, and they won't bother you, or your room. Don't go into their rooms either. Here."

There was a simple wooden door which opened with a minute creak, nothing Kam thought unusual. In fact, when he entered it, he thought it was quite the nicest place he'd ever been allowed to live in, much improved by the fact that he was in it by himself, not having to share. It was barely a dozen feet in lenght and about double in width, held a little bed, a nightstand with a lamp and a shelf above the bed. At the foot of the bed, there was a chest.

"Tunics and underwear are in the chest, you're responsible for keeping them clean and looking respectable. Ask any of the servants about that, that's what they're here for, after all." Then Alexander suddenly seized him in a sharp look, holding his gaze firmly with his own. "We'll talk about rewards and punishment another time, all right? Right now's not the time, we have to get going." He approached with two quick steps, confidently pushing into Kam's space, and tugged at a lock of hair. "You look good enough, just behave and we'll be fine, all right?" He patted Kam's head once and then they were leaving again.

 

~*~

 

Kam might have wondered what the last sentence had been about, but not for long, since Alexander didn't beat around the bush. They made their way straight back into the central piece of the mansion, and then past a flanked entrance through a door that was made of ornament-shaped ironpieces through which one could clearly see into the room behind.

There were two long tables situated in the middle of the room, both of which were occupied by a good dozen or more nobles brunching away merrily while talking and gesticulating over each other. The noise level was rather high, even for someone like Kam who was used to the loud halls of the auction house.

It didn't change when Alexander entered, though Kam quickly grasped that it was his birthday reception, especially by the way he immediately rounded for the tall chair at the head of the right table by which his mother was sitting, amiably chatting with a plump, but pretty girl with long golden locks falling over her back.

"Cousin Anabelle," he greeted her charmingly, bowing over her hand blowing a kiss over it. Kam had never seen two people who looked less alike, but he just slid to his knees next to the tall chair without making a sound or drawing attention to himself. He couldn't see over the top of the table, but he heard Al shuffle around to his mother and say, "I know, mother, I'm horrible to be late, but my birthday present required all my attention and time went by much more quickly than I anticipated. Forgive me?"

He tuned out that particular conversation and looked around the hall instead, catching sight of a few more slaves kneeling unmoving by their masters' or mistress's feet. He'd been aware that people often brought their favourite (or only) slaves to these kinds of receptions, but he hadn't expected quite so many to do it. One girl, sitting on a pillow rather than kneeling, gave him a funny little smile and half-wave. He didn't react because he had no idea whether he was allowed to or not and he didn't want to risk attracting attention, but he could feel the corners of his lips curling up in a tiny smile anyway. That seemed to please her.

"... Kam," he then suddenly heard, and his head swivelled around rather swiftly in case he'd missed someone addressing him. His heart beat harder in his chest. "... new slave," he then heard his master continue and realized nobody was talking to him, that Alexander was talking about him, rather, with a boy his own age who was sitting further down the table. They seemed to be good friends for his master had his elbow on the boy's shoulder and had abandoned his pristine attitude from before.

"This is a bit of a bore, though, isn't it," someone to his left suddenly said, and Kam had another almost-heartattack. "Oh boy, I've scared you, don't worry, it's all right."

The voice belonged to another woman, younger than the Lady but definitely ten years his master's senior. She seemed friendly, though nature hadn't been very kind to her in regards to looks. She was boringly average in features, and a too-big nose made her more maternal-looking than anything. "Kam, aren't you?"

"Yes, milady," he mumbled.

"Miss Eliza will be fine," she smiled. "You must feel right out of place. He's such a bit of a scatterbrain, Al is. I'm his aunt, by the way. He'll be back once he remembers he left his newest pretty acquisition all alone, don't worry. Should be any second now."

Kam stared at her open-mouthed before he closed it with a snap. She was different, he decided. She talked different to him. Like he was a partner in crime, almost, and everyone else to be scolded for their little-mindedness. He could feel himself blush at her sly, knowing smirk.

"Until then, I can always abduct you to accompany me for a round around the gardens? I've finished my brunch, I'm not much of an eater, I'm afraid, and these gatherings are so dull. Interesting people are so hard to find these days."

Kam bit his lip. It was a clear request, one that he could hardly turn down, but if his master minded, he would get in real trouble and that would be even worse. "I - I can't - Miss -," he said, helpless, looking around for his master to rescue him.

"Oh, come on, don't be a spoilsport." She smiled. "He left you sitting here, which means I might as well borrow you and order you around a bit. How's that? All my fault if he minds."

"But -"

She jumped off her seat - much more agile than he'd have expected an almost-thirty years old woman to - and manhandled him up onto his feet and with her. He cast a longing glance back to the table, but the Lady of the mansion was still in deep conversation with Lady Anabelle and his master had vanished somewhere with his friend, neither of them in range of sight, and he realized no one else cared one way or another for an abducted slave.

So he resigned himself to his fate.

 

~*~

The gardens were a magnificent play of greenery and little beaten tracks meandering like a labyrinth's path all over the grounds. The countess' lands had to be vast, because as far as Kam's eyes could see, there was no end to them even near the horizon line.

Miss Eliza led him, as he was still hesitant and rather slow to follow, out through the doubledoors onto a patio where a few elder men were standing around smoking either pipes or fine-looking cigarettes through long sticks of plastic in order to not sully their fingers with the residue. She didn't pay them any mind, however, and they didn't glance up from the conversation in return.

"Miss, please," Kam started once more to try and discourage her from this undertaking. He knew it wasn't a good idea. He'd never had this happen to him before, and he couldn't openly disobey a guest - even worse, close family of his master! But he would be in so much trouble for this if his master disapproved...

"Oh, really, don't look so scared," she interrupted him before he could voice further concerns. "The gardens really are a sight to behold, it was getting so stuffy inside; and a lady like me, well - you know how we're really not supposed to walk around unattended. We could get jumped behind some bushes." She gave him a self-ironic grin.

Kam turned to look back over his shoulder at the imposing walls towering over the entrance to the gardens and the terrace; they were covered with ivy and other woody vines. Not looking ahead, that almost made him run into a person coming from up front and he just so managed to step aside. It was a couple, a middle-aged man and women, and the man gave him a nasty glare. Kam muttered an apology, head hung low, hair covering his eyes, thick sensation in his throat making it hard for him to swallow.

"Where did they pick you up, Kam? I didn't hear the story, I wasn't in the manor for a couple weeks before the brat's birthday. You're not from the usual crop, though, I know all of Ivoire's slaves, you're quite different, even on first glance." At Kam's unintelligible look, she added, "Ivoire... the Countess, your master's mother?"

"Oh."

"She tends to buy from a certain handler in the south who only deals with slaves who are newly sold, most of them young as chickens. Easier trained to her wishes that way. You've had masters before, though, from what I've heard?"

Kam could feel the blush climb up his face. He knew things like that were usually discussed first when conversation turned to slaves; apparently, that didn't vary across social circles. But he hadn't expected everyone to know all about him by now already. "My present master is not my first master," he assented quietly. "I was bought from the auction house in the city."

Miss Eliza scrunched up her nose. She didn't seem to like the sound of that, almost as if she'd heard about the establishment before and it displeased her to be reminded of it. Kam looked at his feet again, then reminded himself that while he was here, he could just as well enjoy the visuals. After all, who knew when he'd be allowed out of the manor the next time? So he raised his gaze and took in the magnificence that were huge water fountains placed in regular distances from each other, lined by trees and well-trimmed bushes as well as huge flowerbeds with colorful plants Kam had never seen the likes of.

Growing up in the country, he knew wilderness, knew sunflowers and butterweed, daisies and meadow rue, but this was different, this was a precise, very vivid experience of such a multitude of different impressions that he missed most of what the lady at his side was talking about as he studied his surroundings with intense attention.

Since she wasn't exactly stupid, she caught on very soon and left him to marvel in silence for a few minutes before dryly saying, "You didn't hear a word of what I just said, did you."

Kam's head swivvelled around in what was a short-lived burst of panic until he saw the amusement in her eyes. She was about his height, but that didn't mean she couldn't pet his head motherly by standing up on her toes; there was an implike quality about it that made it more of a teasing gesture than anything else, though.

"It's like you're starved for some sensory input. Poor boy. Oh well, don't mind me, go ahead and explore, who knows when my dear nephew will give you the opportunity again himself. He can get a little focussed." Upon seeing Kam's doubtful look which he didn't manage to hide despite giving it his best effort, she grinned. "You might doubt my words now, Kam, but you just haven't really caught his attention yet. It hasn't sunk in yet that you're his. Once it does, you'll be hard-pressed finding a second for yourself. He can be very... extreme, in that regard."

Kam nodded in response, but she seemed to realize that he wouldn't trust her word on this unless he experienced it himself, because she gave up right then and there, patting his butt this time. "Well, don't run too far, best not to leave my range of sight. But feel free to go ahead and see what you make of our purlieus."

Which was how Kam got to smell at some of the beautiful, beautiful flowers surrounding one of the fountains, dip his hands in the water of the same and even play at a water battle with Miss Eliza that left them both with a million shapes of wet droplets on their clothes. After they were finished sprinkling each other, she proposed to sit down for a while, "to get our clothes dry," with laughter in her voice.

Kam couldn't help it, joined in the laughter, heard the child-like noise and stopped immediately, surprised by himself. It was a strange sound echoing back to his own ears. It had been a long time since he'd heard it last and it was so foreign. He didn't really know what he'd expected himself to sound like laughing, though.

"Oh, don't stop," Miss Eliza beamed, pulling him to sit next to her by his wrist. "Keep laughing, it's delightful to see you have fun."

Which of course made Kam flustered, and it left him with a vulnerable discomfort he wanted gone again. He wanted that second of light-hearted horseplay back. The flash of ail must have shown on his face because she touched his knee and tilted her head before leaning back and enjoying the sun on her face. She didn't say a word, though, which was just as well, because Kam wasn't someone used to making big words and in that moment, he couldn't have said anything anyway.

They managed to surprise two girls hiding out of sight who were making out rather passionately behind some bushes, clichéd as it was, instead of joining the birthday brunch that was going on inside. This made Miss Eliza put on her disapproving face as she shooed them back inside; they ran back towards the terrace giggling, buttoning up their blouses while Kam felt his mood lift again as a trickle of affection for the older woman ran through him at her scolding tone, and the fact that some things didn't change at all, no matter where one was. Familiarity, he felt, always made him feel better.

Of course, things didn't stay as calm when they finally returned the the patio themselves. All in all, more than an hour couldn't have gone by, but that was already a lot and of course, far too much for a slave who'd not been given any orders by his master but to sit tight. Alexander was waiting for them just at the outside brim of the terrace, thunder in his eyes.

"What the hell?" he asked, glaring at the both of them with a fervour Kam wouldn't have thought possible if he hadn't imagined it in every detail when Miss Eliza had ordered him to follow her.

"Now let's not be hasty," Eliza tried to intervene, but he wasn't even listening.

"And you, what do you think you're playing at, running off with someone else without my permission?" he snapped at Kam. "Do you dislike my company so much that you have to take the first chance to -"

Kam didn't hesitate, couldn't really as his legs grew weak under the weight of his master's obvious anger. He was on his knees in a second, touching the grass with his forehead, trembling from expectation of what horrible thing would happen to him now.

"Alexander," Eliza interrupted him sharply. "Would you think for a moment about what you're saying?" Her voice was cutting enough to stop him in mid-sentence. "If this situation we're finding ourselves in is anyone's 'fault' at all, it is certainly yours for leaving him alone while you scampered off with Frederic to have a quick tumble in your father's study - and shut up and don't even dare tell me I'm not right, because I've known you since your ankle-biting years and you've not grown more responsible since then. Not that I've noticed, in any case!"

Kam shuddered at her tone, scared to death that this would only serve to infuriate his master more and make him punish Kam all the worse when she was gone, her protection lifted the moment she was out of the house.

The expected outburst of renewed rage however never came; instead, Kam heard a sharp intake of breath and then a slower, more shallow one as his master fought for composure. "I can't believe you said that to me," he finally muttered. "Who do you think you are?"

"Your father's sister, my Lord," Miss Eliza replied wryly, not giving him a chance to recover. "And you'd do good to remember that one of the many traits I share with your dear father is the one your mother most appreciates about him. So don't tell me I can't put you in your place, as you're far too arrogant as it is. If you were a runt of mine, I'd have you straightened out and humble in no time."

"Well, I'm not," Alexander protested. "And you don't even have any kids, so don't walk about making this stuff up."

"And you don't go about snapping at people who are dependant on you and have no way to get up in your face about you making a bloody big moron out of yourself. Now look what you've done, poor Kam's frightened to death." She kneeled down beside him and touched his shoulder gently. "C'mon, you can take your face off the ground. Ivoire's floors are clean enough to lick food off of, I've been assured, but garden-earth is really not very hygienic and it can't be very comfortable."

Kam didn't move a muscle.

"Goddamnit, Al, will you move your infamous butt over here and reassure him that you're not going to flog him any more than me?"

"Oh, I don't know," Al snarked, not looking at Kam and therefore missing his flinch. "Sometimes, you sure make me want to grasp any opportunity I can get."

"Smooth, kid," Eliza glared. "Why don't you threaten Kam some more while he's scared and ready to faint with fright!?" She had never taken her hand off his shoulder and was holding on even now. "Really."

"I didn't mean to!" Alexander pointed out, open-mouthed. "Kam! I didn't mean you, I was talking about her!"

"Violence is violence to him," Eliza snapped, at the end of her patience. "Now get here and touch your slave, you sorry excuse for a human being, if you don't want me to go tell Ivoire what a spectacular idiot she's raised for a heir. Seems to me it would be a world of an improvement for him if she were to take him into her own array of slaves and relieve you of having a sharpener to practice your toolishness on."

"If you're quite finished," Alexander growled as he leaned down and put his palm to the back of Kam's neck slowly. "'m sorry," he mumbled, this time directed at Kam, in what he possibly thought was a low and soothing voice but mostly just sounded faint and uncertain. "I was just kidding about hurting Eliza or anyone, I'd never do that, okay? And I didn't mean to yell at you, I was just worried when I came back and didn't find you where you were supposed to be."

"And...?" Eliza prompted, giving him a dirty go-ahead look.

"And I guess I was a bit jealous that you gave her your attention when you haven't even spent as much time with me yet," he concluded sourly.

Kam stayed where he was, not moving, but the thoughts were swirling in his head. There was too much information to process, starting from why his master was apologizing to him to what Eliza was thinking protecting him and taking on a brawl in his stead with his master; he heard the promise that his master wouldn't hurt him, but right after the wave of relief that washed over him, he couldn't help the tension seep back in when it registered that that was a 'not now' and his brain couldn't help but add 'what about later? what about when I do something worse wrong and she's not here?'.

But the warm hand felt good on his neck, and then Al moved even closer and Kam closed his eyes when his master pressed a small kiss to the side of his face.

"I'm not mad at you," he said. The hesitation was dwindling and he added more strongly, "I promise. Uhm... would you get up for me now?"

Kam nodded and almost stumbled over his own hands and knees in an attempt to rise as quickly as possible without disturbing his master or Miss Eliza in their touching him. He kept his head low and his muscles tensed, never a long way from resuming his position if necessary. Miss Eliza took her hand off him once she was convinced he would be able to stand on his own without landing on his butt, but his master didn't remove his touch. Strangely, it made Kam feel better.

"At least you had the brains to pick this fight outside," Miss Eliza commented. "I don't want to know what would have happened if you'd attacked him like this inside."

"I wouldn't!" Al protested hotly.

"Your mother would have skinned you alive," Miss Eliza continued like she hadn't heard him. Then she caught Kam's gaze, tilted her head to the side and winked, proving that his initial assumption about how she was saying these things maybe even more for his benefit than his master's had not been as wrong as he'd thought.

He didn't quite understand what she was trying to make him see by it, but there was a little sense of security that had started to bloom since she'd dared to cross his master in order to spare him punishment for disrespecting clear orders. He didn't dare trust it quite yet - too dangerous, his mind told him, he didn't know her, had only spent an hour in her presence, and there was nothing to say this behaviour wasn't just a fancy of hers that might be gone tomorrow, the day after that, a week from now, maybe, if she was to stay that long. And who knew how fast she'd be leaving here anyway, taking her victorious battles with her?

But at least for now, it seemed she was on his side, willing to protect him from any harm, and it was no wonder that in his postion he was taking anything he could get, and if it were just a few single moments' worth of security, knowing that nothing was going to happen to him in those. He'd worry about the moments after that later. He knew if he did now, he might just break from the stress and mental strain of concentrating on everything at once.

 

~*~


	3. Chapter 3

The crowd had dissipated mostly when their little threesome got back inside. There were still a few noblemen and -women standing around, chatting amiably, but brunch time was over and it seemed as though everyone was leaving already. Where to, Kam wasn't sure. As one more couple exited the dining room he glimpsed them making their way up the stairs instead of turning right and down the hallway towards the exits. So maybe it was a longer festivity than he'd thought, this birthday.

By the iron pieces that formed a door that Kam had noticed earlier already, the Countess was seeing off some of the guests. The moment her gaze set on their group, she was already beckoning Alexander to hurry to her side. In response, Al gave Eliza a long-suffering look, then he did saunter over to his mother, though rather more slowly than Kam would have thought wise.

Contrary to what Kam had been expecting however, Eliza stayed behind by her previous seat which left Kam with barely a split-second to decide what to do. He had no orders, and he had no idea how he was supposed to be acting in a situation like this. Stay behind by his master's seat and wait for his return, let him speak with his mother by himself? Or follow on his heels and wait it out beside him?

Panic started welling up when Al didn't even glance back to Kam to check with him, or tell him what to do. Kam knew that if he picked wrong again... but then he saw out of the corner of his eye the slave girl who'd waved to him earlier from her pillow-seat; she was standing by the side of what was probably her mistress, and she was looking at him huge-eyed, making shooing motions towards Al.

Kam immediately got it and hurried after him, breathing shallow as he tried to catch up with every rule he was supposed to follow here but had no way of knowing about. It seemed to have been the right decision, in any case, because the moment he was a step away from Al, Al turned around, and grabbed his hand to twine their fingers together, smiling. Kam felt his heart almost give out as it slowed again. It felt like it had been beating close to a rabbit's speed for a while, sixty beats per second.

"It's very impolite not to see your guests off when they're leaving for their prepared rooms," the Countess reproached Al gently. "Next time, please don't wander off in the middle of a celebration, especially when it's in your honor?"

"Which is exactly my point! Why is it," Al asked, "that I get blamed for wanting to have fun during my own party?"

"If I remember right, we talked about this," his mother interrupted before he could say more. Her voice had turned sharp around the edges.

Kam felt his hand tremble slightly at the tone; then, rather unexpected, Al's grip around it suddenly strengthen, as if he was realizing what was going on. "I'm sorry," he said, looking sheepish. "I know, I know, I need to show myself off to the court and all that. I'll behave, I promise."

The Countess's face blossomed into a very surprised smile at that, and she tipped Al's nose with her fingertip. "That's a good boy. I knew there had to be some manners in there somewhere."

Al's expression clouded and he swapped her hand away. "Don't even start."

"Fine. Now, dear, your father has already left with some other gentlemen for a few rounds of post-brunch polo out in the fields; he isn't expected back until dinner. You just make sure to give proper bows to everyone who is left and point them to the rooms or appoint servants if they've forgotten which ones are theirs. You'll permit me a few minutes with Kam here, I'm sure."

"But mother -"

"Now, please."

Alexander's shoulders dropped and he squeezed Kam's hand once more before giving him a shrug and another quick kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you in a few minutes once everyone's sorted out, all right?"

As this was an indirect dismissal, Kam found himself with no choice but to follow the Countess back into the center of the room where she sat him down on one of the abandoned chairs and took the one next to him. She looked quite friendly, but then, Kam's very first introduction to abuse had been by one owner who had looked quite friendly, too.

He didn't really want to remember that, though. Instead, he dropped his eyes to the ground and tried to get this done. Whatever it was she wanted, he hoped it was going to be over soon.

"You're not getting into the habit again of not looking me in the eye while we're speaking, are you?" she asked softly.

Kam's gaze swiveled back up.

"No, I thought not." She was smiling. "Now, you are aware, of course, that I've seen your file, and that I know quite a bit about who you've belonged to before we bought you for Alexander. I've known some of those people by reputation, and I have been informed about some of the abuse you've suffered, though I'm sure I'm barely scraping the tip of the iceberg."

Kam bit his lip, not trusting himself to say anything in response, not that she looked like she wanted one. But it was trembling and he really needed it to stop.

Her voice was steady, but sympathetic when she continued. "Let me be clear to you about things now, since we haven't had much time before to talk about certain rules in my house. As the head of my family - and Alexander's mother -, I expect you to come to me when something's wrong, or, in turn should I be unavailable, go to my husband. I'm not your mistress, true; my son alone bears that responsibility. But I know him and while I know that ownership was not too big a task to set him, it is always good for a slave to have someone to go to, who has... let's say, the upper hand over their owner. It puts things in perspective. Do you understand what I mean?"

Blinking a few times, Kam stared at her. He didn't think he did, but he was afraid to say so.

She must have realized, because she sighed. "What I mean to say, to bring it to the point - I trust my son, but things happen sometimes. He's a young man, and young men are like wild animals in the sense that they're unpredictable. If he hurts you in any way, I expect you to come to me immediately or send someone to fetch me for help. To deal with that is my responsibility."

Kam nodded slowly.

"Good. You might wonder what brought this on, so I'll be frank. I saw Alexander storm towards the garden you disappeared to with Eliza and I thought he might be a bit overwhelmed by everything. I'm sure Eliza sorted him out," the smile was back when she saw the half-nod Kam gave in reply to that, "but Eliza will not always be here. It's imperative that you have someone you feel can protect you." When Kam stayed silent, she raised her eyebrows. "Well?"

"I understand," he lied swiftly. He didn't understand at all. Protect him if he did something wrong and his master chose to punish him for it? Or if his master were to enjoy hurting him? It wasn't like his master would be wrong to do so. Of course, Kam was afraid and didn't want either of those things to happen, but if they did, it wasn't like he could... do anything. He didn't have the choice to go to her - unless, of course, his master told him to, which was highly unlikely.

Maybe, he figured, she meant that she'd protect him if she witnessed mistreatment. Like Miss Eliza had defended him when his master had been angry with him out on the terrace. If she really meant that, that might be nice. At least then he would be spared the humiliation of being hurt in front of her. She had an air of grace and elegance around her that would make him feel twice as mortified for being publicly chastened.

"The other thing we need to do sometime soon is to have you meet one or two of my own slaves who'll help you out in the first few weeks and months of your stay here. I will see that they meet with you in a little while, as soon as the guests are all put in the alloted rooms. Until then, I'll leave you in my son's hands. I will send them up to his room - I think Griffin and Ravi will be best suited to help you settle. They will introduce themselves."

Kam lowered his chin. "Thank you." When he looked around, he realized that they were the only people left in the hall and that the terrace doors were now closed. Alexander was talking to an elderly lady as she held on to his hand. He didn't look very happy about that.

When the Countess stood from her seat, he jumped up as well, almost becoming entangled in the seam of her dress that flowed on the floor beside her. He barely managed to catch himself on the seat edge. Thankfully, she either failed to notice or didn't give any indication that she had, which spared him the embarrassment to explain why his face was flaming. He followed more carefully after that, looking at his feet as to not to stumble over anything.

"Very well done, sweetheart," the Countess murmured to her son when they reached the doors again. There was a definite chaffing edge around her poised expression, and her eyes were twinkling with laughter.

Alexander glowered. "Thanks, mother. I really appreciate the fact that you appreciate all the effort I put into my most formal bows."

"I'm very proud of you."

"Oh, really." Alexander threw up his hands and almost pushed her through the door to make her leave finally. Kam had to suppress a smile at the insistence. "The antics!" his master complained. But, on her way down the hallway towards whereever she was headed, his mother of course didn't hear. Which was probably just as well. Instead, Al turned towards Kam and gave him a considering once-over. "What did she say to you?"

Kam stared. He'd just begun to feel a little bit safer again, and of course, that was exactly the moment another attack on his poor battered defence was launched. He tried not to swallow too obviously.

Alexander kept the scrutiny up for a few more seconds before quirking a smile himself. "Fine. Don't tell me. Keep your secrets. Best case scenario, you'll be giving them all up by the time I have you in bed and begging for mercy."

This time, Kam had to swallow rather obviously.

"From pleasure!" his master hastened to add. "What do you think I am, a professional torturer?"

Slowly, Kam shook his head.

Al put his hands on his hips in indignation. "Really, now. That was not a vote of confidence. C'mon, tell me something nice? I haven't heard you speak a word since before this whole brunch... celebration... party thing. I'm missing your pretty voice already!"

"You really babble a lot," Kam blurted and then felt like throwing his hands in front of his mouth to force the words back in. There was a reason he didn't speak unless asked a direct question.

For a second, the astonishment on Al's face was hilarious, then a huge grin broke out on his face, making him glow with pleasure. "You're adorable!" he proclaimed. "How do I get you to speak more often?"

Kam tried to force the blush down and shrugged, at a loss. "Order me to?" he offered weakly. He didn't think it would help much, and really, it might displease his master when it turned out Kam wasn't able to follow that order immediately; but the habit he'd gotten into, to absolutely not speak unless directly addressed and ordered to answer - that wouldn't be easy to get rid of, if it was required here. His last master had made sure it was very well-ingrained.

"We'll see," Al said instead, and gave a quick hug before grasping his hand again and pulling him along. "Unless you have something else to do, how about we go back to my room and entertain ourselves while everyone else goes about their business." He rolled his eyes as they walked up the stairs. "I have no idea what it is they're doing between brunch and late-afternoon, to be honest. I know what I like to do in that time," he leered a bit, "but I doubt half of the dried-out people who came today even know what their equipment is for, never mind doing something with it."

Kam patiently listened to his rambles, and he had to admit that the trickle of amusement at his new master's bright chatter was new. He hadn't expected to enjoy the bits of gossip and knowledge that could be extracted from it so much, nor feel that breeze of pure lightness the habit carried along, like the world was nothing but a fleeting row of words, one following the next and vanishing into thin air. It was very soothing, in its own way.

 

~*~

 

Since Kam didn't have a complete map of the manor in his head yet, he had no idea where the guests were put during their stay here. Apparently in was not in the same area as his master's chambers, since they walked through the hallway he'd waited in just a few hours before and it was deserted.

For once, it seemed Alexander was actually paying attention to him, because he noticed the curious looks around and smiled. "Trying to figure out where exactly we are?"

Kam bit his lip before nodding. So maybe curiosity wasn't a bad thing? That... he figured that might be really nice. He found it hard sometimes to stifle that thirst to discover and experience new things; like that which had driven him to follow a complete stranger into the gardens without direct orders from his master earlier, just to see their magnificence, if only just the once.

"I'm no great shakes at drawing, sadly, or I'd make you a picture, but roughly, it's like this," Al explained as he opened the door to his room and walked in, pulling Kam after him. "We're pretty much top floor of the manor's centerpiece; there's a single door at the end of that hall that leads into the right wing top floor, which are my parents' chambers. Don't go there, though. It's off limits to anyone but mother's personal slaves and servants she specifically appoints. The two floors below are great halls, ballrooms, reception rooms, some offices, a living room and a library. They're all openly accessible, so if you find yourself at loose ends, feel free to explore those."

He must have seen something in Kam's eyes flicker alive because his smile widened. "You are completely and breathtakingly beautiful when you look all excited," he said.

Kam blinked. And then found himself pushed against the wall at his back with arms sneaking around his neck as Al's warm body molded into his, mouth seeking for a kiss. It was a bit of a shock to be accosted so suddenly and without proper warning, but Kam wouldn't have been a good sex slave if he hadn't been at least slightly prepared for something like this at all times, if only at the back of his mind. So he adjusted with light speed, relaxing his shoulders and found the rhythm of the kiss, opening his mouth to his master's seeking tongue.

It was a good kiss once it got going, perfect angle, and Al obviously knew what he was doing. His tongue sneaked into Kam's mouth aggressively and he probed and tasted while using his fingers to caress Kam's neck into softening from its stiffness. Like a primed response, a soft little moan left his mouth at the touch, a keening sound from the back of his throat that went straight to Alexander's erection Kam felt harden against his hip.

They parted with a gasp, and Kam licked over his lower lip, unable to raise his hand to wipe off the bit of spit still on his mouth because Al didn't move, keeping them flush and restrained. "You taste nice," he remarked instead with a flicker of his fingers through the curls at the back of Kam's neck.

"Thank you, master," Kam replied hoarsely.

"New kink, damn. I really love it when you call me that." Al tilted his head to the side and gave him a last small peck before finally seperating from him. He frowned. "Where were we?"

"You, uhm, you were explaining about the manor," Kam offered.

"Right. Not much more to say. Lower floors of the right wing are your room, servants' and slaves' rooms, left wing is entertainment and guest rooms. Lots of guest rooms. We have a lot of guests at various times. There might be hunts. It's all very exciting. But not today. Thankfully, today most of the esteemed guests are leaving after dinner. Are you just going to stand there all day?"

Kam took a few steps closer to the bed into which Al had let himself fall a second ago, but he did dare to just... jump in with him. He simply wasn't sure what was expected of him, hadn't been since he'd arrived, and it was driving him mad, trying to figure it out without help.

"Oh," Al said before Kam could really decide on a course of action. "Your feet are dirty from outside still. I don't think it's a good idea to climb into any bed with dirty feet. And I've just had the sheets changed yesterday." With a groan, he got back up and Kam realized that he must have been wearing slippers walking around because his feet were clean. He could see them at the end of the bed, lying there looking innocent. Now, his master was barefoot too, and he didn't bother putting them back on. Instead, he caught Kam by the hand again - he did that a lot, Kam noticed, and felt ridiculously grateful for it - and pulled him into the bathroom.

"Here, let's see how we best - oh, I have an idea, you can sit on this." His master patted the edge of the bathtub that was affixed the whole width of the far wall. "I don't want to get you all wet, so you sit down... c'mon. I don't bite."

Kam gave him an uncertain look.

Al grinned. "Don't tempt me into making the old 'only on demand' joke again. It's very last-century. Also, something to store away in that overworked brain of yours, I prefer to be on the receiving end of that, in case you were wondering. Which you weren't. Probably." When Kam didn't move still, his expression turned mystified. "Aren't you supposed to be following my orders or something?"

Kam blanched. He moved forward so fast he half-slipped on the tiles covering the floor because they were smooth and he'd never tried walking on something similar before. His stomach flipped in horror at himself that he hadn't seen the prompt as the order it had been meant as. Then it flipped once more when he realized there was no way he was going to keep his balance.

There was a muffled bang before a burst of pain shot through him from just below his left knee, so intense it blackened him out for a second. It hurt horribly, like someone had taken a hammer to his kneecap. Stars danced before his vision for a good while before he became conscious of his surroundings again, lying curled-up by the bathtub, crying in distress and anguish from the sharp agony washing through his body. Clutching at the spot didn't help, only seemed to make it worse.

"I am so sorry," Al moaned beside him, looking completely out of his depth. He seemed to be fighting with himself whether to touch or not. When Kam tried to move to get up or just - do something - he caught himself and had his hands on Kam's back immediately, soothingly running them up and down. "Don't get up, don't - don't move. It'll stop hurting, I promise, in a second. I didn't know you'd fall, I didn't realize - the floor's not that slippery. Oh God, if you're really hurt, I can as well go and shoot myself now..."

While Alexander babbled, the pain slowly ebbed away. Kam had no idea how long he laid on the cool tiles with his cheek pressed against them, waiting for it to subdue, feeling Al's hands on his back through the cloth, and then on his cheek and on his leg - which made him wince. He really didn't want anyone near his hurty leg in that moment. His master seemed to understand, because he immediately retreated and went back to stroking his back in soft, even motions.

There were dried trails on his cheeks when he finally managed to sit up. He was so scared to look at his leg that it took him two more attempts before he dared. His relief must have been palpable, in hind-sight. He knew instantly that he would have a huge bruise the size of an apple, already starting to color up just below his right knee - but it wasn't... broken, or bloody or even worse.

"It's okay, right? Does it still hurt a lot?" Al helped him move towards the sidewall of the bathtub so he could lean against it. "Shit, that looks bad. Can you bend your knee? Oh, good. That's - shit, that's good. I should go get a doctor or something, right?"

"No, please," Kam mumbled. "Please, master. I don't - don't want to cause more trouble. Please."

Al gave him a doubtful once-over. "It's not your fault. It's no trouble, and you didn't cause any in the first place. It's really - it was mostly my fault for startling you, I - shoot, I should know better. I guess. I don't know. Are you really okay? You didn't hit your head in addition or something, right? I didn't see that you did, but you have to tell me -"

"No," Kam interrupted, then bit his lip, looking at the floor. "Forgive me. No, master. It's - just my leg. It's fine. It even stopped hurting."

"Okay, okay." For a second, Kam thought he might just up and leave anyway, as he rose from his crouch next to Kam, but Al didn't leave the bathroom at all. With efficient moves, he opened a cabinet above the sink opposite the door they'd entered through and took out a little washcloth. A handful of hot water later, he was kneeling opposite Kam again. "Careful," he warned, fingers under Kam's chin as he slowly pushed the cloth to Kam's forehead, swiping it down to his cheeks, getting rid of the horrible feeling of dried tears. "There, that's better."

"Thank you," Kam mumbled.

"I should put some... some carpets on this floor or something. Kill yourself on it, wouldn't want that," Al muttered under his breath, cleaning up the last spots of skin before taking the cloth away from Kam's face and leaning in to kiss him softly. It was a nice gesture, getting kissed on the tip of his nose and his eyelids and the corners of his mouth. "I'm really sorry," he added.

Which, Kam could have warned him, wouldn't do at all. Because instead of making it all better, it burst some dam inside Kam he hadn't even known existed and the tears were back, flooding over and spilling from his eyes once more and he didn't even know why.

"Oh, shit," Al said miserably. "I really - I'm not - what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Kam hiccupped and tried to stop the tears from running but couldn't. Now that he'd started he didn't know how to stop them. "I'm - sorry." At least, he thought snuffling, his voice was fairly stable.

Al snorted and when Kam glanced up into his face, he saw a wry smile formed on his lips. "I will so have to bribe you with sexual favours later to make you not say anything about this, won't I?" he joked weakly. "If anyone learns that I've managed to make you cry on your first day with me, they'll all make me cry as well."

Laughter bubbled up from his lungs and Kam managed one little hack before bursting in tears all over again. This time accompanied with sobs and sniffles for good measure. He felt more pathetic than he'd had in a good year.

"Aw, shit," Al repeated, but then he seemed to finally realize that there was nothing at all he could say to make it better, so instead he did the only thing he could think of which was maybe better than anything else he could have attempted. He plopped onto his butt next to Kam and put his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

 

~*~


	4. Chapter 4

The warm water felt nice, pouring over his feet from the tap in the wall. He still couldn't stop the flow of tears, but it was all right. Al didn't mention it. His fingers were gentle and tickling as they ran over one sole, then the other, cleaning away the crumbs of clay and the dust that stuck to the bottom of Kam's feet and then, even after they were clean, he kept kneading and stroking, hair falling into his eyes, concealing his expression.

Kam didn't know why his master was doing this. Why he'd even climbed onto the edge of the tub first and dunked his feet in the shallow waterlevel inside the tub - they hadn't been dirty, after all. But he'd found it hard to comment through the thick lump in his throat and Al hadn't offered, just held out his hand and helped Kam sit beside him.

In the end, the tears did dry out. Kam rubbed his eyes with his hands and sniffled once more, nose full of snot and running and he didn't have anything to blow it. He was a complete mess and he hadn't felt so disgusting in a while. Al didn't seem to mind though, he just kept touching.

"C-can I have something to clean my face, please?" Kam finally asked.

His master jerked upright and blinked, then nodded. "Sure. Do... do you want to get off here and - yeah. No, it's best if we go back to the room now. Can you stand? I'll get you a handkerchief. You can wash your face under the water, too, and just dry it off with that towel there."

About five minutes later, Kam felt a lot better lying on his back on Al's bed, fairly clean and with only a dull throbbing in his leg when he moved it to adjust his position. The bruise was still there, but he hoped nobody'd notice. He doubted anyone would be paying attention to his knees this evening.

Al was lying beside him, a few inches away, not touching again. It confused Kam, this back-and-forth of strange intimacy and then the pulling away again, almost like he was afraid. It wasn't - normal, was it? He'd have expected for his master to at least have pulled him up by now, touched him in all kinds of places, if not out of interest then out of curiosity. Or maybe his master was waiting for him to make the first move?

Before he could resolve to act, Al had rolled over onto his side to face Kam, head propped up on his elbow. "I've been behaving stupidly all day, haven't I?" he started. He sounded hesitant. "I don't - you're so different, you know?"

Kam turned his head towards him, just a minimal shift, and met his eyes. "I know," he replied truthfully. "Of course I'm different. I'm a slave."

"That's not what I meant." There was an edge of frustration creeping into Al's voice. "You're different from other slaves. From all slaves I've known. My mother's slaves are all - they're fine. They're not like you at all."

Kam pulled in his shoulders, curling into himself. There was a small jolt of pain from his knee, but he suppressed it and shoved it into the back of his mind to keep it there. He needed to have a clear head today, he couldn't be distracted by things like pain. "I'll try to do better," he urged softly, fighting not to sound desperate.

"It's not - that is not what I meant!" Al pressed his lips together. "I just don't understand why."

As Kam didn't understand what he meant, he couldn't reply. He half-closed his eyes in shame and stared at his wrists instead, fighting hard to hide his dismay. He'd been told this a lot of times, that he wasn't good enough. He never was what was expected of him. He - he felt like he'd always be that slave, the one that was passed from one owner to the next because he couldn't meet some need that was there, that wasn't sex, that was something else.

"I - you're older than most slaves my mother buys. She's got nine and her last acquisition is on his way to fifteen now, which is the average age for them when they turn up here for the first time. I didn't expect - I mean. I thought she'd buy me a boy around that age, too. Younger, you know. But she - it's - I mean, the sex is - some of them've had sex before, but if not or they want to wait, she doesn't force them to until they're ready. I just didn't expect - you're older than I thought you'd be, is all."

"Your mother buys sex slaves without using them for sex?" Kam asked, huge-eyed, clamping onto the impossible issue. Then remembered who he was talking to and looked down again, flushing.

"She has sex with them. My father has his favorites, too. But not until they're of age anyway, except if they really want to. They believe in good investments. Possibly ones that hold a life long or even longer." Al smiled dryly. "And what use is a slave who hates you, anyway? It's stupid, I mean, I've heard some people mistreat their slaves, like, on purpose, and it makes no sense. They have to watch their backs all the time and at some point, it's just too much of a bother."

Kam tried very hard to ignore the ramblings, blacken out his master's voice while thinking of something else, the smell of the roses outside or the feeling of laughter inside him when he'd played with the fountain water. He wanted to put his hands over his ears and make it stop, but he couldn't. It hurt to think about anything in the past.

And then he realized Al had stopped talking, hadn't been talking for a few minutes, focused on Kam's face. Kam licked his lower lip nervously, heart rapidly thumping in his chest.

"You're not new, are you?" Al finally said. He was sitting up slowly. "You're - I can't believe this. You're... by the heavens, I'm stupid. I should have noticed. But... why would she do something like this? Why would my parents give me -?" He was up and out of the bed, looking alarmed, but that wasn't what made Kam draw himself up against the head-piece, pulling up his knees to make himself as small as possible. It was the edge of repulsion tinging his words, uncertainty, like he didn't quite know whether to be disgusted or not.

"How did you even turn slave?" he finally asked, eyes narrowed.

Kam didn't lift his gaze from his feet. He didn't want to look his master in the face. Everything was all wrong now. Everything was suddenly becoming all muddled and he didn't know - he'd thought his master knew where he'd been before. He'd thought -

"Would you bloody behave like a slave for once and answer my damn question?"

Tears were threatening to spill over, but Kam forced them back. He had never had to answer that question. He couldn't say it, he didn't even want to think about it. So he curled up even tighter, scared to death, minutely shaking his head.

He heard a sharp intake of breath, then Al crossed the room to stand beside him. He looked threatening, anger in his eyes back, like when he'd rounded on Kam in the gardens, thunderous. Kam felt his hands start to tremble and clenched his teeth to stop them clicking together. He tried to say something, apologize, but no words came out.

"How many?" Al asked after he'd stood beside Kam for a good few minutes, just breathing.

Kam gave a pitiful little sound at the sharp tone. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be anywhere but here, answering these questions, sending a red-hot wave of shame down to pool in his abdomen.

"How. Many."

"I..." Kam swallowed, blinking as a tear slid down the side of his nose to land on the corner of his lip. "I've had five masters before," he choked out.

"Five? How old are you?"

"Nineteen. Master, please -"

"That's one hell of a wear-out," Al said cuttingly.

Kam twitched hard, bile rising in his throat. He was squeezing his eyes shut so tightly it was hard to breathe and he didn't know what was worse, the fact that his master wasn't beating him and Kam was expecting it to happen any second now or that he was being bitingly harsh instead, salting a wound that was already burning like fire, making him feel so ashamed of never being enough.

Then a knock on the door ripped the thick tension that had been building, breaking the silence. Kam felt himself keel sideways as a sharp sob tore at his lung; he didn't make the sound, kept it buried inside.

He heard Al's footsteps march to the door and yank it open. "What?"

A deep male voice answered, one Kam'd heard before, one he couldn't place until he realized what the man was saying. "I could ask you the same thing. Since when do you snap at someone just for knocking at your room door, son?"

There was a bout of embarrassed silence before Al's voice sounded again, mollified. "I'm sorry, Sir. I was -"

"Enraged, I'd call that temper. What's going on? Your mother is requesting you to have one last fitting of your evening dresses with Hally downstairs in the lounge."

"I'll go, then."

"Not so fast you won't."

"Sir?"

"You'll explain to me what's going on, Alexander." His master's father sounded strangely stoic, almost indifferent, but the words belied the tone of voice. It was a very clear demand.

There was a long silence before Al replied. When he did, there was indignation, hurt and confusion in his voice. "He's not new," he said. "He's - Kam's - he's not like the others. I wanted someone who'd be mine! He's belonged to other people!"

"And you've never owned a 'second-hand thing' in your life." The statement was dripping with scorn. "You little idiot, he's not a thing!"

At the dagger-sharp statement, Kam couldn't help it any longer, he turned his head towards the exchange. He couldn't see his master's face, but he could see his father's. It was as blank as it had been the day he'd come to the auction house to buy Kam. "I told your mother this would happen," he continued, hard and honest. "He's not your newest toy, and you can't give him back. Your slave is a person. I knew you weren't nowhere near ready to deal with this."

"But -"

"You're dismissed."

"But father -"

"Go down to the lounge for your fitting. One more word from you and I'll make sure you will regret ever having had a birthday in the first place."

There was no more word. Alexander left. Instead, a scent of sharp maleness and sweat, horse and woods ensconced Kam as steps approached and the bed dipped under the weight of a body sitting down. The hand on the small of his back was unexpected, as was the sigh.

"You will have to forgive my son," he said slowly. "He has never had to live through a day of hardship in his life, I'm afraid. He can be very judgmental sometimes."

Kam rubbed over his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to hide the tears. "He's my master," he whispered. "He can say to me whatever he likes."

"That is true, I'm afraid. That doesn't mean I have to like it. And neither do you." When Kam didn't reply, he added, "You remember me, don't you? Alexander's father, Aaron."

"Yes, Sir," Kam muttered.

"Give him some time to think things through," the Lord said and took his hand away, standing back up. "He'd not a bad person. He has expectations and they aren't always met, and his mother spoils him rotten which doesn't help with the tantrums. He'll come around."

Kam blinked up at him. "Why are you telling me this? Sir?"

"Because I think that in the end, it was a good thing to buy you for him, and not another slave." They both knew what he wasn't saying. Fresh, unspoilt. Unbroken, even. Kam closed himself against those words and clenched his hands to fists, fingernails biting into flesh. "And I think it was a good thing for you, too. Never mind how things with Al work out, you'll be safe here. You know that, right?"

"I - I thought you'd give me back," Kam admitted. "What else's left for a slave whose master doesn't want him?"

"He wants you, believe me." Lord Aaron gave a wry smile, the first real expression crossing his face, reflected in his eyes. "He wants you very badly. He just doesn't quite know what he's getting himself into, wanting you. He's just finding out."

Kam found it hard to believe that was true, but he didn't say it out loud. Instead, he waited until Lord Aaron was gone, then he slowly rose from the bed and tiptoed towards the door. He couldn't leave, he knew that. His master hadn't dismissed him, hadn't thrown him out of the room, hadn't even said anything - not that he could have, but he might yet. One thing was for sure, though. Kam wasn't wanted in Al's bed, so he decided the best course of action was to wait for his master's return somewhere else. He picked the corner furthest from the bed, put his arms around himself and curled up, forehead to the wall. It was almost like being back in his cell.

 

~*~

 

Hours must have passed. Kam jumped in fright when the door slammed open, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He'd napped, he realized. He'd thought he would be able to stay awake, thinking about what to do, what to say when his master came back. In many ways, it was maybe a good thing he hadn't spent all that time worrying and chewing his lip into a bleeding lump, though.

Once again, he wasn't required to do any talking. Al seemed quite well able to lead any conversation by himself. He looked terribly unhappy when he caught sight of Kam in the corner, even more so when he crossed the room to sit down next to him and Kam winced at the closeness. He moved off a bit then. He was obviously fighting not to let it show, but he was failing, and it would have been funny if it hadn't been so utterly painful.

"I'm such a bastard," Al muttered into the silence that ensued. "I mean, not literally, my parents were obviously married, but, you know what I mean." Silence again. "I asked mother about all this and - and I - I'm sorry about what I said. It was horrible of me to say something like that." More silence. Al started to fidget with his shirt. "I just want you to be mine, you know?"

"I am yours," Kam said hoarsely.

"Not - you can't be, you - please, try to understand. All my life, I've seen my mother, and her slaves - you haven't met them, you don't know what it's like, seeing them, with her. She buys them when they've never known what slavery is and are so afraid of being sold and she treats them well and is fair and she cares for them. She teaches them how to behave and to please her in bed and out of it, and they adore her for it, they - they're completely hers. They aren't scared or - but it's different with you, it - from the beginning, it was different and I kept wondering what I was doing wrong. And it's because you're not new, you've had other masters before and you hate being a slave because people hurt you before, and you don't even like me. Don't give me that look. You probably even hate me right now. And... and you're constantly scared and you cry when I try to be nice and you cry harder when I try to be nicer and I have no idea what to do to make it better! And I didn't mean to treat you like a toy or a thing."

Kam suppressed a shudder. "You're going to give me away, aren't you." His lips trembled.

"No! No, I - I don't, I wouldn't. I find it horrible that you've had so many masters, it must be so awful to have that kind of... life."

Kam wisely didn't say anything to that, but relief coursed through his whole body, easing the tension at the promise that he wasn't going to end up changing masters again, and that after a single day, which would even for him be a new record. He didn't think he'd have been able to take that.

"Will you come back to bed?"

Dutifully, Kam uncurled his arms from around his knees and heaved himself up on his feet. His leg throbbed again, but he bore it without an outward sign. It actually wasn't that bad. Not nearly as bad as he'd had before. And the bed was only a few steps away. He sat down on its edge.

Alexander had followed and sat in the middle of the mattress, legs crossed. "You look like you're expecting me to slap you or something," he mumbled.

"No, master." Kam hadn't thought his voice could sound that pitiful or weak and winced. And he'd done so well keeping his bearings until the bathtub accident.

"You're not going to trust me for a while, maybe ever, are you." It wasn't a question. Al sounded resigned.

"I'm sorry."

"Will you at least move over here so I can hold you?"

Kam complied with the order, crawled a bit up and was taken by surprise when Al held his arms to reach out and hugged him again, like back in the bathroom, pulling Kam's head onto his shoulder. They sank back and Kam didn't know what to think, lying like that, on his side, pressed up against his master. It felt good, but it felt horrible as well, because he couldn't stop repeating the words from before in his mind, over and over.

"My father yelled at me," Al said and his words blew breath over Kam's hair, like a breeze. "After I was finished with the clothes. He's always been a bit particular about stuff like this. Both my parents are. I... I didn't know you were hurt before. I've never met a slave who got hurt, my parents don't consort with people who'd do something like that. I thought - I don't know what I thought. That there was something wrong with you, I guess. Because why would anyone give you away to another master, if you weren't -"

Kam felt the tears come, and he was so sick of it, he really didn't want to cry anymore, but he knew he would lose it if his master said 'hurt' one more time. He'd cried more in the last day here than he'd cried in the past six months.

Al swore under his breath. "I've insulted you again. I don't - how do I talk to you without making you sad or offending you? I want to know more about you, but every time I ask something, you just pull away and - do I just have sex with you then? Is that the only thing you're going to give me?"

"How do you talk to other slaves?" Kam asked. His voice felt raw in his throat.

"Like to anyone. They're - but they're not my slaves. They - they're just there. You're different. It's so hard."

Closing his eyes felt good. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to sleep or even having sex would be better than this. He didn't reply to that bit, because he didn't know what to say. He was a good slave. He was good at sex and at following orders and at not being in the way whenever either of those weren't needed. That was hard enough as it was.

Thankfully, Al let it go. He just put his hand on Kam's back and started stroking, up and down, before he said, "Don't sleep too long. We're going to have to go to dinner in about an hour."

 

~*~


	5. Chapter 5

Kam felt himself nodding off again, what with Al's fingertips trailing up and down his spine and his heartbeat pulsing steadily into his ear, when he realized Al was leaning down, nuzzling his cheek and licking at his face, down his jaw to his neck. He was awake immediately, flipping from dazed sleepiness to alert and concentrated awareness. This was what he was good at, after all. Or was supposed to be good at, at least.

He sighed and pushed himself higher, giving Al better access to his neck, craning his head out of the way before he let his hands wander under Al's silken shirt, letting them glide up his sides over smooth skin. Their bodies fitted closer than they had before, and he could feel Al's erection press against his abdomen when he rubbed up, gasping as friction shot pleasure sparks though his body.

Kam felt confidence surge when Al didn't protest the touching, so he let his fingernail scrape over his master's shoulder at the same time he pushed his thigh up a small jut, providing more resistance for his body.

A moan escaped, and for a second Kam thought he'd been that, but it was Al, right at the time his hand cupped Kam's ass and he rocked into the pressure to his groin. There was, in Kam's opinion, still way too much material between them, Alexander's shirt and pants and his own tunic and underwear, and Al seemed to agree, because he seemed desperate to touch more of Kam's skin, and let Kam touch more of his own.

It would have been a fine thing, Kam decided, to have been given the permission to undress either of them. His own cock was hard as well, and desire was racing up his spine where Al's fingers had resided before, now stroking at the little bit of skin between his legs, just under the rim of the underwear, caressing and tickling and making Kam want to have something inside him very badly.

"You are so beautiful," Al whispered, and instead lifted his head from sucking on Kam's pulse point to put their lips together, driving his tongue into his mouth without further ado.

He was a good kisser - great, even, Kam was able to tell after half a minute of furious making out, and concluded that had to come from all the practice. He was also apparently set on driving Kam crazy by rubbing his fingers all over his intimate places without doing anything concrete. And for not being a biter, he sure packed one hell of a sting, as Kam found out when he lost focus for a second and forgot to kiss back, which resulted in Al pulling away from his mouth and nipping his lower lip hard.

"I really - I really, really th- think," he panted when Kam whimpered in half-pain, half-pleasure, "- that this - is - is not the - the time to be doing this."

Yes, please.  
Wait, what?  
Kam blinked twice and opened his mouth against another kiss, only to get a quick lick over his teeth and nothing else.

"You look - oh, adorable. When you're all - all dazzled." Al was smiling, breathing hard, and then he took his hand off Kam's ass to tug at a strand of hair before sitting up. His cock was still very hard and very attuned to the on-goings and Kam's wasn't much better, but Kam also couldn't have spoken in a full sentence from simple need.

He'd really fooled himself into believing that he had better control than this, but truth was, he hadn't had sex for months. Two and a half months, to be specific. Which was not good for his stamina, especially since he hadn't been able to jerk off a lot in the past weeks at the auction house. Considering this, Kam was a bit surprised himself how he'd managed to be intimidated by the thought of sex in the morning.

Of course at this point, it looked all different what with the kissing and rubbing and humping -

"I completely lost track of time, I - shit, we - we need to -" Al shook his head as if to clear it. "I didn't think it was so late, I -" He stopped, then bent back down and gave Kam another kiss. "If you want I can -"

"No!"

"Oh." Al's face fell. "Okay."

"I didn't mean to imply..." Kam tried to protest. Except he utterly failed to find the words to describe what he'd meant to imply in the first place. There was no question here about what he had and didn't have to imply or wish to do. "Please, whatever will please my master?" he tried to salvage what was to save still, from this situation.

"You liked that, right?" Al squinted at him. "Don't lie."

"Yes," Kam said. "Yes, please."

"I'd have - I didn't mean to interrupt, I really thought - but I saw the clock and we have ten minutes or something and I thought - and my mother's going to kill me if I'm late again! I shouldn't even have started this but you looked so edible with your eyelashes and your open mouth. And my hard-on's gone now anyway."

Kam's was by now, too. He looked down to his rumpled tunic and picked at the hemline.

"But I promise we'll have lots of sex tonight, okay?"

Kam couldn't help the smile.

"You taste really nice, by the way. Really, really nice. Did you eat anything good during brunch - oh." Al tilted his head. "I remember. I need to give you permission and orders for everything. Look, Kam, this is - I can give you a general permission to always go to the kitchen whenever you feel hungry and always eat when a meal is served by the table, if you want to. You understand that it would be stupid to wait every meal to give you those, right?"

Not so stupid for some people, Kam thought bitterly and realized he'd lost the smile again. It had felt good. Almost as good as the kissing. But at least, he wouldn't go to bed hungry and with his stomach hurting tonight.

"Kam?"

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Yes, Sir."

"Is something wrong?" Al sounded worried. "I need to go get dressed and you should maybe go change into a new tunic as well -" There was a knock on the door, interrupting him in mid-sentence. "Heaven, it's like a damn train-station in here today!"

But he did open the door and tried not to look too thunderous while he did. There were two unfamiliar faces waiting outside before the door, one of them rather impish, smirking, one further in the back looking insecure and concerned.

"What do you want?" Alexander asked with a frown.

The girl in the front didn't lose the smirk, but it transformed into a more subdued smile at his look. "Mistress sends us to look in on the new boy." Al moved aside to let them in and finally Kam saw her fully. She was a good head smaller than Al, but definitely in her mid-twenties already, voluptuous and very, very beautiful, with her long raven hair and curvy figure. Her eyes were painted and her tunic while the same turquoise-blue color as his, had shapes on it in softened silver. The boy behind her rather vanished standing beside her. He was pale and hungry-looking and way too young to be a slave bought from any official slave auction.

"Kam, this is Ravi, my mother's fifth slave," Al gestured with his hand at the girl. "She's been with us for a good ten years now, right?" He gave her a look.

"Eleven, actually, yes. Hello, Kam."

"And the boy hiding behind her's Griffin. He's been here only barely a month."

Griffin looked like he wanted to maybe say or do something like give a little wave, but he was holding a tray with a plate full of food and a tea service, so that might have been a bad idea. Everything still rattled suspiciously.

Kam smiled at him and the rattling stopped.

"Now, is that for me?" Al asked, raising his eyebrows.

Ravi gave him a look that said he was clearly an idiot. "You're going to have dinner served in twenty minutes, young Sir," she said, and Kam had to bite his lip to keep himself from making a sound at the intonation. She hadn't said the 'idiot', though, and didn't bat an eyelash when Al narrowed his eyes. "It's for - Kam, was it?"

"He's coming to dinner," Al said.

"The mistress asks you to reconsider this. Her message was to tell you that you've shown him off enough for today, and to give him time to settle down now. We'll stay with him, if it please you."

For a moment, Kam though Al might simply brush the suggestion aside and take him along anyway - which he had all rights to do - but then Al just nodded and looked around. "Find some table or something in one of the adjacent rooms, I don't want crumbs in the bed and he's not eating off the floor, never mind how clean the servants keep them. And then -" he turned back to Kam. "It's a long dinner. There might be dances and something, and since all guests are invited to stay over for the night, it'll probably last till after midnight. After you're done with the food or if you just don't want them," he nodded at his mother's slaves, "around anymore, throw them out." Ravi opened her mouth to protest, but Al gave her a silencing look and she rolled her eyes. "Sleep or something until I get back. I'll wake you up if I need anything then."

Ravi snorted.

"What?" Al glared.

"Nothing, young Sir," she assured him, innocent smile back on her face.

"Right. You know, if you weren't my mother's favorite, you would never get away with talking to me like that."

"But I am," Ravi grinned. "Young Sir."

"Hally's probably waiting for me," Al huffed. "I'm late and in trouble and it's all your fault. So I'll just go down and get dressed, and you - don't make any more trouble."

Ravi held up her hands. "I promise."

Kam had been watching their exchange with an open mouth, so when Al came over and put his hand on his Kam's jaw, Kam could only twitch, then Al's tongue met his own, giving him a deep kiss. After that, he left the room.

"Well, he's sweet on you," Ravi commented once the door was closed.

Kam felt himself flush.

 

~*~

 

The situation was speedily assessed.

"Fin, why don't you sit down on the bed, careful of the tray and the tea service, Kam, would you - help, yes, exactly, thank you - and I'll go look for a table." Ravi watched for a second as Kam steadied the tray before turning and closing the door behind her.

It took Griffin a while to climb up the edge of the bed to sit on it properly. Kam tried to help, but it seemed to only make it worse.

"I'm so sorry," the boy sighed when he slid down the side for the last time, finally giving up. "I'm still mostly crap at this."

"At climbing on beds while holding a tray?" Kam frowned.

Griffin snorted. "Following orders despite all possible and impossible hitches in the plan."

"Oh." Well, there was something Kam had no problems with. "I guess... it's - it feels safe," he managed.

"What?"

"When you have orders."

"I - it does?"

Kam nodded. "If you know exactly what you have to do, you can't do anything wrong. There's no... punishment."

Suddenly, the boy looked even younger than the fifteen he was supposedly going on. "Punishment?"

Kam blinked. "How long have you been here?"

"Twenty-five days," Griffin said softly. His hands were shaking again.

Gently, Kam pried the tray out of them and put it on his thighs. It smelled deliciously of fresh bread and some kinds of meatballs and slices of cheese and steaming tea. "Did you ever..." he lowered his voice, "... misbehave?"

Griffin hopped onto the bed more enthusiastically than he should have, even though he was free of the burden, and the whole tray rattled. He looked mortified. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to -"

"- it's fine. I got it. See? All firm in my grip. Nothing bad happened."

The boy took a deep breath. "Like I said. I'm not so good at following orders. I tend to forget stuff, too. And I bother people."

"How?"

"By standing around in the worst places." Griffin shrugged. "It just happens. I stop and start... thinking about things and it's the wrong place to stand. I almost got a knife in the ribs once - by accident! I meant by accident, I went to the kitchen and forgot what I wanted there, I guess I just... I didn't think and one of the kitchen girls was cutting onions and she didn't see me because of the tears and one of the other girls had to push me away."

Kam snorted. "That's... inconvenient."

"Very."

"So what... what do they do to you? When you misbehave?"

Griffin gave him a look. "What?"

"We were talking about punishment. Remember?"

"Oh. Right. I - um. Once, I made one of the servants spill wine onto a wall carpet, one of the ones down in the - the whats-it-called - something hall. The mistress yelled a bit. But that's okay, my mum used to yell all the time, too, it doesn't scare me. She has a great yelling voice, though."

"She didn't beat you?"

"No. I thought she would, too. Like, at least a slap. My mum used to slap when I did something like that at home. But I got a bit scared there at the end that she would and she just stopped yelling and told me we'd have to figure out something. I don't know what that meant."

"Oh."

"Yeah. The next time I destroyed something, she made me sit in the library a whole afternoon with her, learning letters! Like I'd ever need to read, when I'm going to be - am, a... a slave!"

"Reading's nice," Kam smiled. "I used to read a lot."

"Well, you can already read. Learning it's boring. It's just strange signs on paper. I wish she wouldn't make me do it, but she's my mistress, and it's... what did you call it? Punishment. For when I destroy things or stand in the way. So I guess I have to do it."

"We can practice reading, if you want," Kam proposed. "It must go slowly, the Lady has to have a lot to do, and not so much time to spend with you, right?"

Griffin shrugged. "It's all right. I know what I'm here for. I didn't think she'd be this nice anyway." He leaned close, whispering. "Did you know she hasn't even... you know? With me? I thought she would, right away."

"You are a bit young," Kam nodded. "And my master said -" he swallowed, not sure if it was okay to say something like this. It might turn out not to be true, after all, and then he'd have made the boy unnecessary hope. "Maybe you'll be able to ask for it when you're ready," he said instead.

"Maybe." Griffin sounded uncertain. "How did you get here? You're the young Sir's slave, right? You're the newest person here now. It feels really weird not to be the newest. Though I'm still the youngest." He tilted his head.

"I'm. Yes. I'm that." Kam didn't want to talk about his story, though. Griffin seemed nice enough, but - he was just another boy slave. And it didn't do to get close to the other slaves, most of the time. He might have been promised not to be given away, but promises meant less than the air they'd used up when they'd been spoken.

Before Griffin could ask again, the door opened and Ravi walked back in, a half-high table in her hands. Rattling the tray again, Griffin jumped off the bed and towards her. "I'll help -!"

"No," Ravi quickly said. "No, no need, I got it. Here." She put it before Kam, helping him place the tray on it. "Now, how about you start eating and we'll - try to answer your questions after you're done?"

Kam nodded, relieved that he wasn't asked to talk right now. He felt strange, like he needed to process everything Griffin had just told him. But one more thing was playing on his mind before he could tuck in. There was only one cup and plate, after all. "Do you want to - I mean - if you're hungry, there's plenty -"

"Oh, no," Ravi laughed. Her black hair shone in the room's lights as she shook her head. He'd never seen someone with skin like hers before, either. "We ate while the food was still hot, down in the kitchen. Eat up, it's from the same pot and oven the guests' food comes from, so you can be sure it's delicious."

Kam looked at Griffin. "You -"

"Really, I ate like, five bowls of soup in addition to three plates like you have. If you offer me - well. On the other hand, maybe I could another half a slice of bread -"

"No!" Ravi protested, pulling him back down into a sitting position on the floor, grinning. "Let him eat, you monster."

Griffin stuck out his tongue at her. She grabbed at it with her fingers and he grinned and slobbered all over her hand. Kam started eating. It was all very strange.

 

~*~

Kam ate slowly, careful not to spill anything, and still managed to burn his tongue on the hot tea he'd poured into his cup. It was delicious-smelling tea, and he hadn't had any in what felt like ages.

"You are very cute," Ravi said, grinning as he scrunched up his face in pain. "Hurt yourself?"

"Hot," Kam nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I've managed to burn my tongue like, a hundred times by now, on the food here. It gets served hot, which is just cruel," Griffin sniffed.

Ravi snorted. "Because you haven't had weeks to get used to it or anything."

"I'm slow. Shut up. I know that."

Kam tried sipping, which worked better. His stomach felt warm and nice, and a comfortable satiety was filling him. After not having eaten all day, it was a wonderful sensation.

"Say, Kam, you're a bit older, right?" Ravi suddenly asked.

Kam looked up. "Yes, Miss."

"Not 'Miss'," Ravi said quickly. "Just Ravi's fine. If you go around calling us 'miss' and 'mister', we'll just feel really uncomfortable."

"All right."

Ravi smiled. "You like your orders, huh?"

Kam nodded.

"How're you settling in?"

"I'm fine," Kam said softly.

"It's just been one day." Ravi's eyes softened, looking right through his front. "Give it a bit of time. You'll get used to everything here. It's very overwhelming at first, I remember that from when I first arrived. The mistress had four other slaves already beside me at the time, and I thought I'd just be here for the sex and then forgotten, but it's not like that. We have it very good, here."

"She has many slaves, doesn't she," Kam stated.

"Well... yes."

"How does she care for everyone?"

Ravi shrugged. "She doesn't need to. We take care of ourselves. You'll see when you've been here for a while. It's not my place to tell you about the others, but for myself, I'm in charge of keeping a bit of an eye on the newcomers," she glanced over at Griffin with a grin. "He's a handful all right. Kit wasn't that much work, was he?"

Griffin glared. "It's not like I can help being clumsy," he said, indignant.

"That was not what I meant," Ravi teased.

"Oh."

"It's okay. You know I adore you, don't you?" She held out her arms and his smile was suddenly back and he nodded quickly before bouncing over to her and returning the hug fiercely.

Kam looked down at his tea, embarrassed.

"He wants a hug, too!" Griffin suddenly said. "Can I attack him?"

Ravi hid a smile behind her hand. "Would you mind being attacked, Kam?"

"It's no fun if he gets to say!" Griffin protested.

"And he's not fighting tooth and nail to keep you away, so I'd guess he's fair game."

Griffin gave a what he'd possibly later describe as a very manly yelp and tore out of Ravi's arms, accidentally knocking over the table with the plate and the tea service when he stumbled, falling right on top of Kam, who dropped the cup on the floor as well.

They both groaned. Griffin was kind of heavy, for the bony kid he looked to be. Ravi was hiding her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. Griffin's face was an inch above Kam's. "I'm so sorry!" he whispered mortified.

"It... uh. It's okay," Kam said, then bit his lip. It probably wasn't. They'd get in trouble for this. A puddle of tea had formed on the floor and was being absorbed into the carpet as he watched on. It left an ugly stain that made Kam's insides twist in fear.

"Shit." Griffin sat up, but he did stay put on top of Kam, which meant Kam had no way to move unless he threw him off. "Are you hurt?"

"No," Kam said. "But - we need to clean - it's all right, it was my fault, I'll tell the master that I spilled -"

"What?" Ravi's voice was so incredulous, both their heads whipped around to her. "Kam, don't be ridiculous. Fin, get off him and run downstairs to fetch a servant, will you? Tell them what happened and to get some things to clean it up with when they come up here." She was on her feet in a second and picking up the fallen objects, placing them back on the tablet.

Kam took a deep breath. "But -"

Griffin interrupted him. "All right," he said. Before he got off, he did pull Kam up once more to hug him tightly, though. Then he was running to the door, open and falling shut again behind him so fast it had all happened before Kam had even blinked. He could still feel the tingles of the embrace, though, the warmth of Griffin's little pointy bones against his flesh, breath on his cheek.

Ravi re-erected the little table, further away from the bed this time, and put the tablet back on it. "See, all done? The world didn't perish." She smiled.

Kam looked away. His master was offended by crumbs in the sheets. He would probably be really angry about his carpet being ruined. It was his fault, too, because he hadn't told Griffin not to come near, not to jump. He should have said he didn't want the hug.

There was a sigh, then the bed beside him dipped and Ravi sat down, leaving enough space between them so he wouldn't feel trapped. Her hands were the same bronze color as her face, but a bit lighter on the inside when she placed them palms-up on her thighs.

"You're safe," she said. "It's okay. It's okay to do something wrong. I know what it's like to worry -"

"You don't know anything," Kam snapped, and caught himself just in time. His chin hit his collarbone when he turned his head away. "I'm sorry."

"You think I don't have a story." It wasn't a question. "I don't know anything about you, that's true. But you don't know anything about me either, do you?"

"I'm sorry," Kam murmured again. He clenched his hands so they wouldn't betray him. He had a feeling they'd start to shake soon. He knew his body, knew its responses to everything, to every sensation, he'd tested it all, just to make sure, to be a good slave. He knew how to act exactly as he had to when his master told him how he wanted him to. It was just... so hard to figure that out. He relaxed his hands again and put them flat on his own thighs, mirroring hers. Everything was fine. Everything had to look fine. She'd leave him alone if it did.

"Did Griffin do that?"

"What?"

"Your leg."

Oh, the bruise just below his knee. He'd already forgotten about it. It only throbbed when he brushed his thumb over it. It looked dark blue with a reddish tinge. "No," he said. "That happened earlier."

"If you want, I can get you some salve -"

"It doesn't hurt." You didn't have the luxury to draw pain out as a slave. Ignoring it, splitting it away from the consciousness and shoving it into the far corner was better. And he'd really forgotten already.

"You want to ask me something, right?" Ravi changed the topic. Her voice wasn't low and inquiring anymore. Like a switch had flipped, it was bright and open. "You've been looking at me."

"I wasn't - I didn't mean to - it's just that I haven't ever seen someone -" It wasn't like he'd asked her for sex or anything. He'd just looked. He hoped that wasn't a bad thing. He didn't want to get in trouble with her, especially if she was the Lady's favourite.

Ravi smiled. "It's fine. I don't mind you looking. At my skin, and my eyes and hair, I assume? Because they're different?"

Kam nodded hastily.

"I was born in a country far away," Ravi explained. "People look like me there. India. Have you heard of it?"

"Seen it, on a map. It's much bigger than Southcliffe. Much, much bigger."

"I don't remember much about it, sadly. I was still very young, and memories fade so easily about the places you were when you were younger." She gave him a searching look. "Do you remember some about before?"

Kam shrugged. "A bit." He tried not to, tried not to remember the cries and screams and the smell of fire and burning flesh. "I remember the late summers. You know... harvesting grain, the smell of freshly cut wheat on the fields."

"That sounds nice."

"It was."

She didn't ask anymore, and he was grateful for that, too. Griffin returned a bit later and sat down next to Ravi, giving them curious looks, like he was expecting them to jump on each other any moment now, which was funny. Ravi seemed to notice too, because she grinned and ran her fingers through his hair. "Hormones," she joked to Kam. "He looks like that whenever two people sit close together - in a proximity of ten feet or less."

Griffin rolled his eyes. "Yarn, woman."

"Have you found a servant?"

"One of the girls is coming up as soon as the ballroom's cleaned. Dinner's going well, apparently."

"That's good to hear. It's getting late, though. I still have a bit of work to do, so if you don't mind, Kam, I'll be getting back to my room. Fin, bed. Little boys like you should be asleep by now!"

Kam felt himself smile. "I don't mind," he said. "What are you working?"

"Oh, this and that. If his Lordship ever releases you from his greedy little paws, you can visit my room and I'll show you."

Griffin leered. "She'll show you all right."

"You! Get the tray and then out. Now!"

"Night, Kam," Griffin waved as he grabbed the tray - Kam winced at the carelessness - and left. Ravi gave him a big smile and a nod before she closed the door behind them.

The silence that fell in the room was downright unsettling. Kam felt himself shiver and looked around, for something to do. He wasn't too tired yet. He'd slept before, after all. But his master had said he wouldn't return until much later, and while Kam didn't have to do anything to keep from being bored, he preferred to have something to focus on. Minds tended to wander when unoccupied.

He had not been given permission to go through the room's closet and shelves, though, so there was really nothing else but to be patient. He could go wash. The master had said it was okay to use the bathroom for washing. He'd only washed his feet today, and he'd spent so much time being dirty and filthy and stinking, in the auction house, it would be a relief to bathe again, even though he'd done so only this morning. He liked smelling nice and being clean.

The washing didn't take too long. The tub was quickly halfway filled with water and he climbed into it, discarding of his clothes, let the water run over his calves, his knees, his thighs. It felt nice on his stomach, running down in droplets of warmth. He liked that they had warm water. That had been a very pleasant surprise. He sank his face under the level for a minute, holding his breath, then rose above again to take a huge gulp of air, broadening his lungs. It made him feel alive.

He climbed out finally, took the towel he'd been allowed to use for his feet and dried himself as well as he could before taking up the tunic and underwear and slipping back into the room, which was still empty. Or empty again, in this case, because someone had been there while he'd been in the bathroom. The spot where the tea'd been spilled was freshly wet and looked scrubbed, and there was a bit of white foam on top of it.

With a sigh - he'd have to explain that later, Kam knew, and it would be horrible and he really didn't want to - he folded the clothes into a neat little package, laid it by the bed and slid between the sheets, naked, where he closed his eyes and waited for sleep.

 

~*~

 

Kam woke up, knowing immediately that someone was watching him. The little hairs on his neck rose with fear and unease and he opened his eyes hesitantly. He was staring up into his master's face, soft and loving and completely unguarded and the cherishing look in his eyes made Kam blink with incomprehension.

"You're awake," Al smiled.

"I fell asleep," Kam said, hoarse. "I'm sorry, master. What time is it?"

"Around five in the morning, I'd say. I just got back a few hours ago, you were asleep, I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh. But I thought..."

"It's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. I told you to sleep. And I was tired, too."

Kam nodded, looking away.

"Did you have a nice evening with Ravi and Griffin?"

"Yes, master."

"You liked them?"

"Yes, master."

"Is there anything I can ask you - no, I'm doing it again, aren't I?" Al sighed. He placed his hand on Kam's jaw and gently turned his face back so he'd look at him. "It would be nice if you answered in sentences, all right? Can you do that?"

"Yes, master." Kam winced. "I mean, I'll answer in -"

"- little Griffin managed to bowl something over again, didn't he?"

"Master?"

"The carpet's stained." Al grinned. "He's a complete catastrophe, he is. I wonder why mother keeps him around."

Kam felt himself grow nauseous at the mental image of Griffin's beaming face, remembering how he'd told Kam he liked it here, and that he liked his mistress and that maybe if Al told his mother he didn't want him around anymore he might be shipped off somewhere - "It was my fault," he quickly said. "Please, don't be angry with him."

Al seemed taken aback by the admission. "It... it was?" he asked.

"I knocked the tray over, I didn't think, I was - I mean - I'm so sorry, I'll... I'll try to..." But the thing was, he had no idea how to fix this, so he just let his voice fizzle out at the end, helpless.

Al hadn't taken his hand off Kam's jaw and caressed his cheek with his thumb, staring at him with a look of deep concentration on his face. "It's all right," he finally said. "It's just a carpet. I wanted to lay out a new one here anyway, this one's old and gives rug burns when you drag over it too long. The color's all wrong too. I've just been putting it off, now I have an opportunity." He smiled. "Don't worry."

"But -"

"You want me to punish you, huh?"

The words made sense, but the tone of voice didn't, so Kam could only shake his head in confusion. It sounded like he was teasing, but Kam couldn't help but get scared.

"Here, I'll punish you," Al said, smile widening and he leaned over, still not taking his hand away - warm, firm, holding Kam in place - and kissed him on the lips, merging their mouths together.

The mattress under him gave in a good inch under the pressure, as did the pillow, and he was suddenly engulfed in white fluff, unable to look left or right because of them, and there was nothing but his master's mouth, kissing him, heavy and panting and his fingers on Kam's face while his body sought contact, moving closer.

Al was naked too, and they slid together like water currents washing past each other. His cock was hard against Kam's thigh, and Kam's own hardened immediately when his master pushed up a thigh between his legs to create friction for him.

"Are you okay to have sex now?" Al asked.

Kam nodded against more kisses showering his face and added, "Yes," just in case his master needed a verbal confirmation. "Yes, please."

"Brilliant. I've been imagining being inside you all day." He gave a tiny moan touching Kam's hip. "Stupid birthday party. You can touch, you know? Just... touch back the way I touch you? Kiss - yes. That."

Kam went for the cock immediately, because he had no illusions about his own stamina tonight. He would not be able to hold on to his orgasm for long and it would be a complete disaster, he knew, if he came before his master. He might be allowed to, later, when his master was done, if he'd done a good job, and shit he needed that orgasm, so he'd work for it really, really hard, because if he didn't get it, he knew he might just come anyway and that would be very, very bad. No matter how forgiving Alexander had turned out to be about the carpet. Maybe he hadn't lied and he really had been thinking about getting a new one.

Thinking about the carpet helped, thankfully. Kam didn't think the same trick would help much later, but for now, it did the job, got him to cool down as he caressed his master's cock with his hands, rubbing and touching and sliding his palms over it. Al was meowling like a cat after a minute, arching his back, and he seemed to approve even more when Kam buried his face in his neck and bit, just like he'd been told to earlier.

"Shit," Al exclaimed, making Kam jump, but his arms were around Kam in a blink, holding him down, still halfway on top of his master. "You're good," he panted and moaned once more when Kam relaxed, loosening his grip on his master's most precious part.

It was nice to have assurance that he was doing well. This was, after all, what he was supposed to be good at, so he was glad his master didn't think he'd made a mistake. Al was also quite frankly beautiful naked, expanse of smooth skin stretching over his slender limbs and firm stomach and thighs. Kam didn't mind what his owner looked like, it wasn't like he could afford to, but this was... strange. Getting aroused by just looking at someone, without being touched in return except for the hands on his back, now travelling slowly up and down his spine. His master seemed to love touching Kam's back. Or any back, possibly.

"Careful now," Al whispered as Kam chafed his teeth over a mark he'd left. Kam's fingers tightened around his cock and then he exhaled loudly because Al's fingers were sliding down between his buttocks, rubbing over the muscle of his hole, a fingertip dipping in. "Hurts?"

"No," Kam bit out, trying not to moan at the sudden flare of heat up his spine. "No, please, master -"

"You're so tight," Al whispered into his hair and just rested for a second, let his finger play, stroking the muscle lightly from the inside out. "So. Beautiful."

"Please?" Kam asked, pushing back into the hand, wanting more. He tried to think of the carpet again, but at the motion, his cock brushed Al's thigh and he had to suck hard on his lower lip to not come right on the spot.

"Not - oil. Oil, I'm not - where did I put - right. Kam?"

"Yes, master?" Kam panted, squeezing his eyes shut to not cry out when Al took his hand away from his ass.

"Move? I have to get the oil. I'll be right back, I promise."

Kam rolled over onto his back, eyes still shut and felt his master sit up, groaning. His own cock was so hard it hurt, and this was drawing out way too long. And now his master wanted to get some sort of oil to put inside him first, which would take even longer and he was of half-mind to just beg him to put his dick in, screw the consequences. The only thing holding him back was that he knew exactly how painful it would be to get fucked after a few months of not having had anything inside him.

Al vanished in the bathroom and came back with a phial he opened by pulling the cork out with his teeth. The scent was immediate and strangely comforting instead of aggressively irritating, a bit minty, but also like autumn.

"Why's it smell like that?" Kam asked.

Al smiled sunnily. "It's got horse chestnut in it. Love the smell. And it also... it helps with the pain, you know?"

"Oh. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why care?"

"Because it's sex," Al pointed out, confused, smile slipping. "It's fun. It's not supposed to hurt, it's something to make you feel like... like bursting inside with happy. Right?"

Kam gave him a dubious look.

The smile was back. "You don't believe me, huh? Nothing but prove it to you, then." He stepped closer, got on the bed, phial still open, still giving the room its unique scent. "Stay on your back, legs apart," Al commanded. Kam obeyed immediately, which made his master laugh. "There's a language you understand, huh?"

But before Kam could reply - if he'd found the words, which he possibly wouldn't have - his master was already between his legs, pushing one of them up towards his chest as his fingers, slick with the oil now, slipped down from his balls behind to his opening and smudged it all over until the whole area was a bit numb. Then he leaned forward, kissed Kam's nose and said, "Breathe now," before licking over the corner of his mouth. "Relax."

A finger went in smoothly, a second followed and Kam forced his body to relax, which was... strangely easy, for once. The intrusion didn't feel like someone was forcing something into him, it was an easy glide and Al put a strong hand on his abdomen, pushing down a bit, grinning, while he angled his fingers up suddenly, making Kam jerk off the bed when a jolt of pleasure hit.

"Having fun?" he asked innocently.

Kam fought to get his breathing back under control.

"You're okay, right?"

Kam nodded. He wasn't by a long shot, but his master seemed to be enjoying himself, so he clenched his teeth together, hooked his fingers in the sheets and tried not to show that he could barely hold it together.

Al slid his fingers almost completely out before adding a third and that was really enough. More than enough. Too much. Kam panted, bit the inside of his cheek and still couldn't stop the moan that escaped. It seemed to please his master, at least, because he leaned over, kissed Kam's stomach. "Moan for me?" he asked. "You have such a lovely voice. C'mon, don't be shy."

"Please, enough," Kam begged. "I can't - if you don't, I won't -" He felt like crying, but forced it back. He wasn't some stupid kid, he was better than that, he was a trained - professional - slave, goddamnit, and twenty minutes of foreplay had maybe finished him when he'd been sixteen, but -

Al pulled out and fell between his legs, fitting their bodies together. His cock was hot and deep red against Kam's stomach, but instead of at it, he made Kam look into his eyes. "You look - scared."

"Please," Kam said, reaching down to get it inside himself if he had to.

Al caught his hand. "What?"

"I can't - I'm going to come, please, master, I can't - not before -"

"Oh, shit," Al cursed. "You're allowed, okay? You're - of course, you can come, before me, after me, anytime, twice in a row, you're allowed, all right? Just - if -"

"I can wait," Kam pressed out. "You - you can -"

"All right, stubborn. No more waiting." Al kissed him, deeply, muffling any further sound, pushed his tongue into Kam's mouth while he positioned himself and slammed home, after the preparation and oil and kisses not too hard a task, simply rocking into Kam's body like it'd been waiting for him forever.

It felt like forever, anyway. Kam held on to his control by a single thread.

"You're so..." Al didn't finish the sentence because he was already drawing back, and it fell right on the thrust in. His eyes were blown wide with pleasure, pupils huge. He was sweating, which was familiar, droplets of salty water falling onto Kam's skin at every thrust. By the third, he got his hand between their bodies, even though they seemed glued together, only to rub the rest of the oil from his fingers onto Kam's cock, his palm burning hot around it.

Kam gave up. Orgasm kicked him half-way into oblivion and his whole body shuddered, tightening, contracting around his master, his hands seeking for something to hold on to, finding Al's back to grasp, slippery, but better than the sheets because alive with movement and jerky breaths.

Al managed one more thrust and came as well, inside him, face pressed in the pillow beside Kam's head, their cheeks touching as his body throbbed, around and inside Kam. It hurt a bit, now, the numbness wearing off, but that was nothing against the simple, wide-eyed delight coursing through his veins, that he'd done this, that those moans of release were of his making, that his master had just come inside him, just like that, enjoyed himself, taken enjoyment out of what Kam had to offer.

Kam allowed himself to linger in the bliss, at least until his master moved slightly, pulling out, which was kind of disgusting. There was never a way to make it anything other than that, so Kam didn't even try to deny it, just winced away from the feeling of semen seeping out and the hollowness. But the warmth stayed, and Al didn't pull away, just half-rolled off and instead pulled Kam close with his arms, cuddling up to him.

"So good," he murmured. "You're lovely."

"Thank you, master," Kam whispered.

"I'd love - to - to go clean up. I don't think - don't think I can move a muscle. Right now." There was a pause and the embrace loosened. "You're free to go. If you want."

Kam blinked. 'If you want'. He tapped the sensation that evoked from all sides and decided that he'd prefer to stay in bed for at least a bit longer, smelling the chestnut scent and the sex and Al's sweat mingling with his own, never mind the discomfort of everything else. "If my master wants me to leave -" he started, hesitant.

"I want you to stay," Al said. He kissed Kam's collarbone. His breathing was slowly returning to normal. "I'm a compulsive cuddler. But - if you'd feel more comfortable leaving... some - some people do."

Kam stayed silent and didn't move.

"Oh," Al said. He sounded pleased. "All right, then. You have permission to go - go whenever you wish, though. Just - just so you know. I'll probably fall asleep. If you want to... go wash or walk around or something."

"Thank you, master."

"Just - fine. You're welcome. Kiss me?"

Kam couldn't help it. He leaned down and smiled into the little kiss. There was a hand at the nape of his neck, thumb rubbing over the soft skin there, caressing and stroking like one would a kitten, and it didn't stop even when Kam found himself purring. There was a tremble of his master's chest that felt like he was laughing.

 

~*~


	6. Chapter 6

Kam woke up for the second time a few hours later. He was warm and comfortable and the sheet he was covered with was very soft and fluffy when he slowly let his fingers run over it. It hadn't been there before, he did remember that, so someone must have brought it. His master was lying close enough to warrant the term 'cuddle', but not squeezing him or holding him tight in any way, so his slithering out of bed, while a loss of additional body warmth, didn't disturb his sleep.

Through the window sunlight was falling onto the carpet. He tapped over on bare feet and stood in it for a second, staring out onto the fields and forests behind, just letting it sink in. It couldn't be too late, the sun itself was not very high up yet.

He felt... good. Better than yesterday, definitely. He'd - he thought he'd done well last night. He'd been too fast, maybe, but his master hadn't seemed to mind. And he'd do better next time, now that he had this behind him. He'd work harder, hold out longer. He'd make sure that his master was taken care of first.

Kam glanced back to the bed, where Al was still asleep, breathing through his half-opened mouth, brows furrowed, and felt his stomach growl with hunger. But he was still dirty and walking felt funny, so he could - his master had said he could use the bathroom, right? He'd always hated falling asleep after getting fucked, it was uncomfortable and sticky and everything was just disgusting, especially if his master had come inside him, but last night, he hadn't minded so much. Probably because the feeling of Al's fingers in his hair, behind his ears, on his neck, had felt so good, like he was being praised for good work.

But now it was time to clean up. The problem was, if he used the adjoining bathroom, he might wake the master up and in addition, hadn't Al said he hated it when people walked around in his room while he slept or watched him at it? So he might get mad if he realized Kam had outstayed his welcome and done one of the things he didn't want.

He had his own room. Which meant if all the slaves and servants lived in that other area of the manor, there had to be a place or two to clean up there as well, otherwise everything would get really crowded. And Al had said to ask a servant or someone if he didn't know exactly where something was, so it couldn't be too hard to find out.

Kam didn't have the best memory, so he got lost once or twice before taking the proper turns and going down the right stairs and picking the correct doors to go through. A couple explanations by random servants who were cleaning windows and floors in different areas of the house later, he did arrive at the room Al had shown him as his own; he knocked anyway, just in case someone else was inside. It was empty, and everything was still in exactly the same order as it had been when he'd been in here yesterday.

He opened the chest, took out a new tunic - he quickly counted how many there were and realized he'd possibly never owned six pieces of good clothing like this in his life - and left the room again. There were doors down the whole floor, left and right, behind which there were probably rooms just like his own, occupied by other slaves. He felt very small suddenly. The hallway was empty, but the doors spoke for themselves. All those other slaves were here so much longer and knew everything already and he had no idea how to talk to them, or how to be a good slave to his master yet. And he couldn't go and knock on a door, he just couldn't. He didn't want to leave and go find someone else either. He needed to find a place with running water, but how to go about it, now that he was ready, he had no idea.

Kam didn't know how long he stood there, just outside his room, leaning against his door frame, wondering what to do now, clothes in hand. He didn't even have a towel. There had not been one in the chest.

Then one of the doors opened.

The woman who emerged looked sleepy, rubbing her eyes, and for the longest time, she didn't even seem to realize he was there, at least until he moved, a single step forward. Then she blinked and something like recognition lit her features.

"Kam, right?" She rubbed her eyes again, making them water. "You're up early."

She was possibly forty, maybe a little younger, and as almost every slave Kam had ever met, she was very pretty, even just after getting out of bed. She didn't have Ravi's outlandish beauty, but she had a kind of warmth around her that reminded Kam of something he couldn't put his finger on. She also stepped closer and looked at him curiously, which he didn't like too much.

"I'm Hannah," she offered. "Are you lost?"

"No," Kam mumbled, looking at his feet. "I - I mean. I wasn't. This is my room, I think."

"Yes." Hannah smiled. "I see you were inside as well. Was Alexander too tired for you, then, last night? The party went on very long."

Kam felt a flush coming on. "I slept with him," he said rather more vehemently than necessary. "I just came to get new clothes!"

"I didn't mean to offend you," Hannah soothed. "It's just because it's so early yet."

Kam looked away again. "What time is it?"

"Just about eight in the morning. I'm an early bird, but most of the others love to sleep in, Alexander included, so I'm not used to running into anyone in this hallway. Actually, I was just on my way to the bath."

"Can - can I clean up there, too?"

"Certainly. That's what it's intended for, though I've been assured it has seen other uses as well." She smiled again, eyes crinkling around the corners. "Nobody showed you where it is, huh? It's the last door down the hallway." She pointed in the direction exactly opposite the stairways that had led up here. Then she started walking towards it, expecting him to join.

Kam hurried after her. "Is it just one for everyone?"

"Oh, yes. Don't worry, it's big enough for us all to clean up at once if we wanted to. Now and again, some craftsmen come by to repair and maintain the pipes and water supply systems and furnace that heats the place and the water, and I asked them once when they were here. It's a lot more practical to have on big bath for lot of people than just small baths like the master and mistress have or Alexander, too."

Kam had never thought to ask how it was that this house had warm water while, for example, the auction house or a few of his previous masters hadn't. He didn't get to ask any more questions either, because she opened the door - emblemed with a carving of a naked man and woman lounging in the water - and he found himself staring into a square room that was about four times as big as his own.

The bath was a spacious round pool in the middle of the room, steam rising from the surface. There were a few servants chatting with each other while scrubbing basins clean by the walls at the side. When Hannah saw him look, she gave a little nod, then went over to one of the servants who weren't doing much of anything, spoke a few words with the boy, nodded and slipped out of her clothes and handed them as well as her fresh ones to him before moving over to the edge of the tiles and sliding into the water naked.

Apparently, that was how it was done here. The boy was giving him somewhat of an impatient look, so Kam scrambled over as well, discarded of his own wear before handing all the clothes over. "Is this okay?" he couldn't help but ask. "I can put it down by the door -"

"It's fine. There's not much else to do. If there was, I'd do something else."

"What else?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "Clean, scrub, repair, wash the towels - whatever's required. Now, would you hurry up? I don't get paid to stand around and talk to you, you know?"

"You get paid?" Kam blurted and immediately wished he hadn't.

"Of course," the boy narrowed his eyes. "I'm not a slave."

The tone stung. Kam felt stupid, standing all naked before him while he held the clothes, so he drew back without another word, turned and tip-toed towards the water, careful not to slip and crack his own skull open. There wasn't any water on the tiles, not that he could see, but a single overlooked puddle might just be enough, after all.

As on request, he hurried up with the washing, even when Hannah swam over to chat a bit with him. The water was lovely, hot against his skin, and smelled of some sort of flowery soap, the same one he'd been offered the day before when he'd been given some time to clean up in another bath, a smaller one, probably one of the more private guest bathrooms or something.

"You're not very talkative, hm?" she finally commented. "Can't blame you. I don't like people much myself. Most people anyway."

"But you like your mistress?"

Hannah gave a laugh and turned him around in the water, despite his protesting sounds, and rubbed his shoulders and back. He wasn't sure whether he liked that, but she didn't seem inclined to take no for an answer. "I love my mistress," she answered.

"Oh."

"She's a wonderful person and she's very easy to love, so that's not a wonder, I guess. You'll get to know her fine once you've been here for a while." The hands left his back and slapped his buttocks once, just a gentle tap, slowed by the water, then he was facing her again. "All done?"

He found himself looking anywhere but at her. Looking at her face felt too intimate and looking at her breasts that just barely peeked out of the water felt disrespectful, somehow. She was a slave too, but it didn't feel that way at all. "Yes," he said quickly. "Thank you."

"Good. I see you want to get out of here. You hungry?"

"Yes."

"Let the boy help you dress and then off you go. I'll stay a while. I love to swim a bit in the mornings. Helps to get the creaks and stiffness out of my old body."

Kam felt the start of a smile. "I don't think you're that old," he whispered.

"Oh, I'm plenty old," Hannah laughed. "Twice your age at least. You'll see how much like a well-oiled machine your body will not act once you're my age."

Of course, they both knew this topic was one they couldn't afford not to think about, but while Kam took it with the grain of bitterness it required, her face wasn't creased with worry or even mild concern. Maybe it hadn't been a lie after all, he pondered as he climbed out of the water - maybe the Lord and Lady allowed the precious, good slaves to stay for the rest of their lives even when they were past a certain age.

When he approached the boy from before to dress, the boy did seem glad that he hadn't had to wait hours and immediately handed him a towel so he could dry off. Kam just barely remembered something Al had ordered.

"Where - uhm, is there somewhere I can wash the clothes?" After all, he was in charge of his appearance, and Al had made very clear he was not to walk around covered in filth and creases.

"The wash kitchen is down on ground level. Some of the girls there'll help you out with that."

"Thank you."

He kept the information for later, but decided not to go there just yet. Maybe it would be better if he had more than one tunic to wash before he went down. Right now, he was hungry and maybe he could find the kitchen to get some breakfast before everyone else woke up and people would be too busy serving those guests who'd stayed overnight.

 

~*~

 

Fortunately, finding the kitchen wasn't hard. Or rather, he never really managed to make it to the kitchen. His quest for breakfast was brought to an end in the small dining room before the kitchen which he entered unthinkingly because the door had been ajar. He'd rather thought it would be empty, since no sounds had come from it, but when he stepped inside, he realized someone was sitting at the table, quietly eating.

"Why, there's a surprise," Miss Eliza looked up and smiled. "Good morning, Kam. Are you looking for breakfast? Do close the door and join me."

"Yes, Miss," he said and followed her orders.

"Sara, love, would you mind getting Kam a plate and whatever's available for breakfast?"

Kam's head snapped up at the request. He hadn't even realized a servant girl had been standing by the other door until she moved. "I can -"

"Don't be silly." Miss Eliza nodded at the girl to go on. "You don't even know where everything is, and Florence has forbidden any and all slaves entry to her holy altar of cookery since the Griffin Incident."

"Oh."

"So best don't even go into the kitchen by yourself. If you have to, it's best to let Sara fix it up for you. Sara's in charge of all things food distribution, so it's not like you're asking her anything that's not her job anyway."

"All right. Thank you." Kam ducked his head when the girl returned with a plate and placed it before him.

"You're welcome," she chirped. "If you want anything else, or second helpings, don't be shy to ask, there's more than enough."

He watched with some astonishment as she retook her spot by the door and as good as merged with the wall to become inconspicuous.

Eliza was grinning at him. "She's good."

Inwardly, he agreed, but he didn't think he was allowed any kind of opinion on her skills, good or bad, in his position, so he remained silent and started to eat instead. His stomach thanked him for that, too, and stopped moving around.

"So, how did you sleep? Your first night here, it must have been pretty exciting."

Kam almost choked on a bit of crust at her amused gaze. He had to cough and swallow before he could answer.

"It was okay," he then mumbled, feeling warmth flood his cheeks.

"Oooh, I see. So the brat finally took some of his duties seriously." She laughed. "So, how was he? You can tell me if the stories are exaggerated. I'd be used to it, believe me."

"I..." Kam blinked, mind blank.

"I'm teasing you, I'm sorry. You're not familiar with that, I've noticed before. You don't have to answer."

Kam nodded, grateful.

Miss Eliza grinned. "Your glow gives you away anyway."

The blush was back full-force.

"You're endearing." Then the humor vanished from her face. "You're still thin, though. I hate it when she gets a new kid here and he or she's half-starved. Are you feeling well? Not faint or anything?"

Kam half-smiled to reassure her. She was so nice to him, it was the least he could do, he thought, even if it wasn't worth much. "I feel good. I ate yesterday night and now. That's more than enough. Ravi and Griffin brought me some food."

"Oh, you met Ravi. That's good. You should visit her room at some point. She has done some astonishing work, and it might give you an idea what to do with your time when your master is... otherwise occupied."

"What does she do?"

Miss Eliza raised her eyebrows. "You'll see when she invites you. It's all the more beautiful when you just... let it floor you."

Kam didn't think this would be a wise moment to mention that he hated surprises, so he stayed silent.

"So if it was so pleasant last night as I assume it was, what are you doing up at this hour? He didn't throw you out of bed, did he?"

Kam shook his head. "I couldn't sleep."

"Early riser?"

"Not - not always. Just habit, I guess."

"Habit?"

Kam played a bit with his egg, then shrugged. "Just, the auction house. And before, my master liked - had to get up early and liked me to get up at the same time. I haven't slept long for a few years."

"My brother's like that," Miss Eliza said. "You know, Aaron. I'd say 'the Count of Southcliffe', but he doesn't even carry that title, not officially and he hates it when people address him like that. When he was a kid - I mean, you wouldn't believe it seeing him now, but he was the laziest boy, couldn't get him out of bed in time for school. But then he had to, for various reasons, and the habit stuck. These days, no ten horses could keep him tied to his bed when there are lands to roam on said horses."

Kam smiled. "We had horses. Back - when - before. My - I mean. There were... horses." He bit his lip and stared hard at his plate.

"Aaron loves these lands," Eliza offered softly, and he was pretty sure she wasn't even looking at him, which was nice. She sighed. "We don't really belong here. I still sometimes think I shouldn't come here, even to visit for a few days. This house - it's so different. We grew up - it's funny, my father and mother, they had a woodcutting business, on the other side of the forest. Aaron was always supposed to take over the business, marry a nice village girl, get me and my hypothetical husband to help him out." She chuckled. "Can you imagine Al working his ass off chopping trees?"

Kam had to fight a big smile. He honestly couldn't, but he didn't think it would be nice to say that out loud, so he just said, "It makes sense, what he said to me, before. Lord Aaron. He said - yesterday, he came to fetch my master and he stayed a bit and said a few things. About my master not ever having had to work in his life."

"It's one of the things Aaron and Ivoire don't see eye to eye about. Hunting, playing, sword fighting, shooting, all things a nobleman like Al should know, but real manual labor isn't required. He won't ever have to work for himself, after all, so why should he? Aaron thinks his lady wife spoils him too much by keeping him from helping out around the lands."

"So - so the lord works, still?"

"Oh, yes. Believe me, there have been some titan fights under this roof about what's proper and responsible, but Aaron's stubborn and - well, to be honest, Ivoire wouldn't half love him as much if he wasn't so completely different from any bratty noble anyone's ever met. By now, she just lets Aaron and Pan do whatever they want, since their reputation is shot to hell anyway."

"Pan?"

"Ivoire's second slave. Her first, Hannah, was her maturation gift from her mother. I'm sure you see a tradition develop there." Eliza's smile was a little ironic. "Pan wasn't actually - she didn't mean to buy him really, it was all a bit muddy. Hannah was hers before the marriage, and Aaron has never been an advocator for slavery, you see."

"He's an abolitionist?"

"Not in so many words. For a man in his position, that would be rather an unfortunate opinion to hold. But never mind his motivation, he never wanted her to buy another slave, he even wanted Ivoire to free Hannah before they got married. Of course, that would have been very irresponsible and highly controversial on top - but let's not go into politics. Pan just kind of turned up one day in the nearby town. It happens sometimes. But the strange thing about him was that he didn't remember anything about himself. The doctor later said it was amnesia after a head trauma. Ivoire fell for him - well, his looks, more like - right off the bat and bought him before he could end up a prostitute or worse. Aaron threw a fit when he realized what she'd done. But obviously, it was too late by then."

"And he - Pan - was fine with that?"

Miss Eliza gave him a long look. "You'll realize, once you've been here a while, that not one of the slaves Ivoire has bought is unhappy. Sure, sometimes, there are little dramatics and a few tears, but - let me tell you a secret. Maybe it'll help you over this initial distrust, which is understandable enough in your case. God knows if I was a slave in your situation, I'd be cautious."

Kam narrowed his eyes. Secrets were never good. Secrets just tended to destroy everything. But he'd learned a long time ago that everyone had a skeleton or two in their basement. Might as well learn about the ones in this particular basement soon as he could. With a house this big, there was more than enough room for them.

But before she could say anything more, the door opened and the Duchess stepped inside. Kam almost fell off his chair, unsure whether to get on the floor to kneel or stay seated and finish his breakfast.

"Eliza, how are things going in the kitchen - oh, Kam? What are you doing, stay seated, there's no need to kneel."

"Thank you," Kam got back up and onto his seat, gaze lowered with embarrassment.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, milady."

"Good. Don't let me interrupt, I was just going to check if everything'll be running smoothly with the guests later. Kam, once you're finished, would it be much trouble for you to run upstairs to wake my son? Knowing him, he'll be late again if he isn't woken at least two hours before the functionary call."

"No trouble, milady," Kam shook his head.

"Eliza, make sure he eats properly, all right?"

And breezing through the door she was gone again.

"Doesn't she eat?" Kam asked, staring after her.

Miss Eliza grinned. "She eats, believe me. She's been up and working for hours already. The duchy doesn't run itself, after all. The servants probably deliver to her room directly."

"I should go and - my master -"

"Are you finished eating?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you're telling the truth, then fine. Go cuddle and then kick his ass out of bed. Not like he needs his beauty sleep anyway."

Kam flushed and stood, pushing at his plate. "Um. Miss. That - that secret you wanted to share..."

"I have a better idea. If you run across Pan one of these days - and you will, at some point. Ask him about his work with Aaron. Just... he'll tell you. It's not widely known because people don't know the right question, but just ask him why he's doing it."

"I don't understand."

"That's all right. You'll understand then."

Kam found it was a very confusing answer, but instead of worrying about it, he gave Sara a little smile of thanks when she came to get his plate - couldn't hurt to be on her good side - and then left again, his stomach comfortably full, thinking about the new information he would have to wrap his head around.

 

~*~


	7. Chapter 7

Getting to his master's room for a second time was easier. By now, Kam had orientation points worked out and it took him barely ten minutes to arrive at the right door. Without thinking, he entered and realized too late that he hadn't been given any orders to come back once he left. He froze when Al's eyes settled on him, open and awake and thankfully not too angry.

"Master," he mumbled and took the route of least resistance which was to drop to his knees by the bed.

"Good morning, beautiful," Al replied. For a second, he looked curious before he pulled back the sheet. "Come back to bed. It's still early."

The anxious feeling in his stomach settled. He... wasn't in trouble? He really hoped not. And the order was clear enough, so it wasn't like he could do anything about it. Kam quickly hopped to his feet and climbed back into the bed. It smelled of sex and sweat, but not in a bad way, not like sometimes before, when it had made him gag with revulsion. The memories from this bed were nice ones, at least for now. He'd - he couldn't remember wanting to have sex so much for a long time. It was... nice, the sensation, that it wasn't - that he'd wanted to.

Al gave him one more curious look before his lips quirked up into a small, lazy smile and he slid over to curl around him, hugging him tight, bunching up the material of his clothes. "You look scared," he murmured. "What did you do?"

Panic welled up. Kam swallowed and tried not to show it, fighting the tension rolling over his skin. Being scared didn't work to anyone's advantage, at any time.

"Kam?"

"I - I'm sorry," he said in as low a voice as he could, controlling it hard so it wouldn't tremble. "I didn't think, I entered your room without asking permission."

"Oh." For a second, his master seemed confused, then realization dawned. "Oh, because of what I said about the servants?" His grip around Kam tightened for a second. "It's okay. How about you - hm. How about you knock before you enter when the door's not open?"

Kam hesitated.

"There's something else?"

"Yes, master."

"What else?"

"What if you're - asleep?" Kam bit his lip and tried not to shiver when Al pressed a kiss the the nape of his neck, just above the neckline of the tunic, fingers pushing locks of hair out of the way.

When he was done kissing, he simply nodded. "That's a very good point." He pulled off Kam a few inches to be able to look him in the face. "When there's no answer to your knock, you can open the door and check what's going on. When I'm alone and, in fact, asleep, you can always join me; when I'm with someone, better not. But if you need anything, you have to wake me up."

The dubious look must have escaped him, because Al frowned. "That's an order, Kam. If I find out you needed something badly and didn't come to me to ask me for it, I'll be pissed."

Kam sucked in his cheeks at the cutting tone, and he could feel his body stiffen. He fought again to not let it show, but it wasn't so easy this time when the threat was so clearly stated. "What - what will happen then, master?" he whispered, not really wanting to know, but needing to know, just so he could prepare himself, in his head, like he always had before. It hurt less, usually, when one was prepared. He was good at pushing the pain away when he knew it was coming.

Al narrowed his eyes in thought and looked at a point past Kam's shoulder. "Good question."

Kam blinked.

"I forgot about that, didn't I?" Al sighed. "I'm such an ass. I'll work on that, I promise. My mother told me to explain the whole reward and punishment to you first thing; but yesterday, we didn't have time and then we had the official brunch and the bathroom incident and then we had sex and I am really sorry about this. I should have clarified sooner."

Kam shifted in the embrace, feeling awkward and then even more awkward when his master's erection brushed his thigh and his own body immediately reacted to his arousal.

Al snorted. "Maybe we should sit up for this. You look confused. Both our brains might work better if we're not pressed together."

It would have been funny, and pleasant to hear, that his master reacted to proximity to him like that. But this was a serious topic, so Kam didn't laugh. He couldn't stop the warmth flooding his chest, though, especially when Al helped him sit up, running his hands down Kam's back - which didn't help with the arousal at all. He pressed a kiss to Kam's mouth before pulling off and a few inches away.

"At least you're decent," Al teased, still naked, tugging at the hem of Kam's tunic. "If you weren't, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't get around to this again."

Kam couldn't help smiling.

Al grinned. "And if I ever do manage to make you laugh out-right, it'll make me come in my pants and it'll be a world of embarrassing for everyone nearby."

The smile broadened. Kam didn't mean to, he really wanted to stop smiling, but it didn't want to vanish and his facial muscles did not want to obey his will. His master scrambling for words and trying desperately not to give in to the impulse to reach out, hands twitching - it was a little hilarious.

Then Al shook his head. "No," he said. "No, no, we need to do this first. It's more important than sex. And I might even have myself convinced of that at some point in the next couple years. Kam. Seriously, stop smiling, I can't focus on anything but kissing you silly."

And that worked.

"I hate myself right now," Al sighed. "Now I'll have to think of cheap jokes again to make the smile come back once we're done with this talk."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. Anyway, so. Punishment. Punishment first, then we can finish with rewards and that'll put us both in a good mood and then we can have lots of hot sex. Right?"

Kam nodded and rubbed his palms against his thighs, nervous.

"So, just to clear this up from the start, I won't beat you or - or whip you or anything violent like that. I - uh. I've heard some people do it. My mother doesn't, never has. Never needed to, either, to be honest, and I hope that you won't turn all obnoxious and - and impertinent now that you know that I'd never do that?"

There was a sticky pause where Kam tried to decide whether it was a real question or not and finally chose to shake his head, just in case it required a reply.

"It's just... I don't know. I guess people get really mad sometimes and just can't stop themselves from hitting their slaves or something? But mother always said that that was because the master or mistress did something really wrong with his or her slave and it was their fault in the first place that the slave behaved badly. So - so you might do some stuff wrong. Like, make me mad. But there'll be no beatings. I might yell, though. That - we'll have to deal with that. I think everyone yells sometimes when they're angry?"

Kam had no idea how to respond to all that, so he remained silent. Inwardly, though, he matched this story up with what little Griffin had said and how happy Ravi and Hannah had looked and what Miss Eliza said about everyone here and somehow, it all fit together and that calmed him down more than the words itself could have. Of course, it wasn't a guarantee. Nothing ever was. But it might have been just about enough to start feeling a little more secure.

"For - for other things, we'll have to work something out. Something specific, just for you. Something that'll help out with what made you act wrong, you know? Like Griffin, you've met him? I don't know if you know, but mother makes him learn to read and write as a punishment. She says he's so clumsy because he's never learned to control his motions. His reflexes and fine motor skills are just... not trained. So she's practicing with him, to get him to learn how to focus his attention and get his body under control, his fingers, you know, and his arms, and later, when he can concentrate better, he'll learn maybe how to fight with a sword, the basics at least, since that makes you a lot less clumsy as well. It's hard to be clumsy when you could really hurt someone else."

Kam stared. That was the strangest explanation he'd ever heard.

"So that's the kind of punishment I'll try to give you as well." Al shrugged. "I mean, if you prefer some other kind of punishment, I'm willing to listen. I always wlll, all right? Just... just tell me if something bothers you. Chances are that I just didn't realize."

"I - there - there's something," Kam admitted softly.

"About the punishment? Or something else?"

"I - I think the punishment - I think - it's - I mean something else," Kam rushed out. "I'd like more orders, please."

Al nodded slowly. "I noticed that. I get by now that you don't like to talk about what happened before here. Maybe some day - but for now, because of that, it's hard for me to figure out what kind of master you need?"

"I like orders," Kam offered, helpless. "I - they - I can't do things wrong when I have orders?"

"That's true. I'll try to be really clear about what I want and need in the future, but you have to do one thing for me too, in exchange?"

"Master?"

"You have to be really clear about what you need as well."

"I - I can - I can try?" Kam stuttered, willing his voice not to break. He didn't think -

"Not right away," Al proposed quickly. "I realize this is probably all new and if you previous master didn't like you to ask for things, it must be really scary, but please, just - there's nothing wrong with wanting things. Like - like before? When we had sex and you needed to come but you didn't say because you thought it was wrong?"

Kam looked away, feeling himself flush. He'd held out, though!

"I didn't tell you what was wrong or right to do in that situation, so that was my mistake. You can always come, whenever you like, even when you're alone and need to orgasm, and I'm not there. Not with other people, you can't have sex with anyone else, but alone, or with me, you always can. The thing is, you - I mean. I know it's not like you can just forget what you learned before, but I'm not your previous master or the one from before that or whoever. So ask me when I forget to tell you and it's not clear enough. I promise I have never, ever been angry at someone for asking a question."

It sounded fairly easy, put like that, but Kam knew, having had more than one master before, how hard it was to put aside habits from one to adapt to the next and he was a little practiced at it by now, but that didn't mean he could just flip a switch. A little bit of the pressure got taken off at the order, however, and by the way his master assured him that he didn't expect the change to be immediate.

"I'll do my best," he promised. "Thank you, master."

"I am really sorry about getting mad about you wandering off with Eliza and then again yesterday afternoon. I guess I was a bit jealous. And disappointed. I tend to - I can't really control that all that well."

Kam lowered his chin to his chest and looked at the bed, feeling strange. He had no idea what to say to that.

Al laughed, sounding embarrassed. "Now I've confused you. Kam - look at me?"

Kam immediately lifted his chin to meet his master's eyes.

"What would you like? As reward, when you please me especially well?"

Kam frowned. "I don't know," he finally said. "Pleasing my master especially well is the reward." He didn't understand. Wasn't that the point of being a slave? Making sure his master was the happiest he could be?

"Well, yes, but - isn't there anything I can offer, if I wanted to make you happy?"

Kam looked at him unhappily. "I don't know," he mumbled, sure he was failing something again, and not knowing why.

Al sighed, then suddenly smiled. "Well, never mind. I'll figure something out. There has to be something you like to do. We'll find that out and then we'll talk about it again. All right?"

"Yes, master."

Al reached out with his arms. "Are you okay?"

It was as clear an invitation as any. Kam moved forward like on command and let himself be embraced, scent of his master enveloping him as completely as his arms did. "Yes, master," he said, heartbeat slowing again now that it seemed the talk was over. It hadn't been so bad. There was a little glimmer of hope that his master was speaking the truth, that he really wouldn't be - mistreated. But he still couldn't quite believe it.

So instead, he stopped thinking about it and let himself be held for a few minutes. Then a kiss landed on the nape of his neck. Kam let his hand wander down a smooth, pale stomach to touch his master's cock and in return, Al moaned into Kam's hair, stroking his back.

 

~*~

 

After more sex and more washing up (in his master's bathroom this time), Alexander excused himself to breakfast with his guests and hopefully - here Kam had to smile at his suffering expression - to then get rid of all of them. He didn't seem so fond of birthdays anymore as he had the day before. He did allow Kam to stay in his room, if he wanted, but Kam grew bored fairly quickly. If he'd had the order to stay and wait, he would have, of course. However, he didn't, and exploring sounded more fun.

He found the library quickly enough. The huge wooden doors, the letters carved into them in beautiful circles bare any edges, felt warm and cool under his touch at the same time, and he was very careful pushing the handle down to open them, careful of the sound.

There were books inside, whole walls covered with cupboards and shelves and wooden bookcases, lining the room, standing parallelly, forming a labyrinth of dusky pathways. It was vast, stacked, overwhelming, and Kam turned once around his axis just to be able to take it in.

He knew books, had even owned some himself, before. He'd loved reading; nothing complicated, just accounts of travellers and warriors, history. He hadn't had many, and the ones he'd had, he'd quickly known so intimately that he didn't need to re-read them anymore to know every exact placement of every word - but it wasn't for the words that he read them, it was for the letters, to appreciate the ink and the delicate paper they were written on, turning soft under his fingertip.

It didn't look like there was anyone in the library at this time, there were no sounds, no footsteps. It was safe. He was alone. He slowly approached one of the bookshelves and took out one book, just to touch it, the thick binding, the dark blue front, signed with golden bows. He couldn't read them - it had to be a different language than he knew, they didn't seem familiar at all, and it was filled with strange bow-signs as well, evenly spaced apart.

The next book was better. It read 'The Criban Phase of Sarcott Poetry' and its content was page upon page of four-line verses, and none of them rhymed, and none of them made any sense on first glance. He put that one away as well, grinning to himself. Someone had to have enjoyed this, otherwise it wouldn't be here. Maybe one of his master's ancestor had sat in one of the armchairs by the window, trying to comprehend what Mr. Sarcott wanted to announce.

Not having a clear aim, Kam wandered through the aisles, here and there picking a book to leaf through, and he almost got a heart attack when he was just putting away his latest, turned around and found someone standing behind him.

"Shit, don't do that to me," he exclaimed, breathing hard, and swallowed, heart beating so fast he thought it might jump out of his chest. "You scared the crap out of me."

Griffin hung his head, mortified. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I saw you wander past me without noticing, so I thought I'd come over and say good morning."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I really am sorry. Kam?"

Kam closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them again. His heart rate had slowed already, but he still wasn't quite over the shock. He tried to keep his voice friendly, though, when he replied with a, "What is it?"

"Did you get in trouble with your master about the carpet?" The huge eyes were filled with anxiety.

"Oh, that." Kam bit his lip. "Don't worry, he was... quite nice about it."

"Okay. Are you sure you don't want I should tell him it was me who spilled -?"

"No, it's - it was my fault. Please, it doesn't matter anymore. What - hey, what are you doing here anyway? I thought you didn't like to read?"

Griffin shrugged and tugged at the hem of his tunic. He was blushing. "I'm supposed to practice writing again. I - I told my mistress about the tea and..."

"You told her?"

Griffin winced. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do." He gave Kam an embarrassed look. "She - after - she came to say good night and noticed I was worried. I couldn't not tell her! She gave me a hug! A long one, too."

"You really like the hugging, don't you," Kam half-smiled.

"Yes. There's nothing wrong with that. Right?"

"No, no, it's fine. I just - do you need help? With the reading and writing? Your mistress is not here, is she?"

"She gave me a task, but then she had to go. I have to practice and when she comes back I want to be able to read it perfectly." Griffin jutted out his chin, gaze stubborn. Then the air puffed out of him again. "It would be nice if you could help. I don't know if I'm getting all the words right."

Kam touched his shoulder lightly. "All right."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Not like I got much else to do anyway."

"Afterwards, can I show you something?"

Kam gave him a suspicious look. "I guess?"

Griffin laughed. "It's nothing bad. You'll see." Then he grabbed Kam's hand and pulled him over to his table.

 

~*~

 

It was nothing bad indeed. When Kam was certain Griffin would be able to read the appointed paragraphs of the children's tale as he'd been ordered, without stumbling over letters or words, he agreed to the excursion.

He only started to feel a little panicky when he realized where they were headed: outside.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Kam warned. "Do we have permission to leave the house?"

Griffin gave him a strange look. "We're slaves, not prisoners."

"Yes, I know, but -"

"And we're not really leaving the house. It's just that we need to cross a bit of - oh, here." He pushed open the door and a sharp gust of wind shocked them both into taking a step back. "Look, the sun's out."

Of course, the sun was out, one could see that from the windows, but it was still morning, and the earth hadn't warmed up enough yet to make a walk barefoot across a grassy pathway comfortable. Kam saw immediately where they were headed, but he didn't know what to make of the bell-shaped little building adjoining the main house.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"A chapel," Griffin whispered as he pushed the entrance door open and stepped inside onto the cold stone floor. "It's so pretty."

It was very beautiful - the walls were covered with colorful paintings contoured with graceful golden lines, there were candle holders made of gold and silver, glittering in the candlelight, reflecting it back into the hall. There longish, wooden benches placed all over, facing an altar; grapes, bread, long-stemmed wheat grass and a pitcher were placed in a decorative way atop.

"Who're the offerings for?" Kam asked, imitating Griffin's quiet speech. It seemed it was the tradition here to speak in whispers.

"What do you mean, who're they for? It's a chapel, they're for the gods, obviously?"

Kam frowned. "What's obvious about that?"

"You don't have any gods? You don't - wait. Are you from the Islands?"

Kam drew back, pressing his mouth shut.

"You are, aren't you? Oh, by the heavens, why didn't you -"

"I don't want to talk about it," Kam hissed. "Can we go back now?"

"I'm sorry." Griffin looked up at him, eyes widening. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Honest, I won't ask anymore. I just wanted to show you, if you'd been from here - Ravi doesn't come here to pray to our gods either. She says she has her own. But she likes the silence. I just wanted you to have the silence too!"

"It's fine. I'm not upset." Kam didn't look at him, and instead stared at one of the candles, watching the flickering of the flame. "Thank you for showing me. Can we go back now, please?"

For a moment, Griffin looked like he might protest again, opening his mouth, but something about Kam's expression must have warned him, because he just nodded and led the way outside once more.

 

~*~


	8. Chapter 8

It slowly turned evening, with the sun crawling towards the western horizon; Kam was so engrossed in his book, sitting in the library to which he had returned after his upsetting encounter with Griffin's chapel, that he hardly noticed the time passing. It was only when a little boy approached his armchair and poked his arm that he startled. He'd been in the middle of a scene, a water battle, two ships - the trading companies against the pirates - and the pirates were winning if the companies wouldn't pull something out of their hats, and -

"Excuse me, but Sir Alexander has sent me to call you to his room," the boy said.

Kam blinked. "Oh." He looked out the window and realized how late it was. "Oh, yes, I'll - get going. Thank you."

The little boy gave him a bright smile.

"Aren't you a little young to be a servant?" Kam asked carefully.

"My mom works here," the boy shrugged. "I just play."

"Ah."

The boy held out his arms. When Kam only looked on, puzzled, the boy dropped them again and rolled his eyes. It looked quite funny on his puffy little baby-face. "Hugs?" he said.

"What? Oh, you want one?"

"Yep."

Kam smiled and touched his cheek. "Okay."

After the hug, which was lovely, as the boy smelled like fresh pastries - and also, it was nice to get one of those for once without any sort of sexual ulterior motives - he hurried out of the library and up the stairs, swiftly turning into hallways and towards Al's bedroom. He arrived out of breath and waited a few seconds before he knocked twice.

"Come in," Al called from within and Kam pushed the door open cautiously. "Kam?"

"Yes, master," Kam said and approached him.

Al had been sitting on the edge of his bed, writing something into a book on his knees, but when he saw Kam, he closed it and pushed it under his pillow, giving him a tight smile. He didn't protest when Kam, stomach churning, sank down by his feet. Instead he stroked over Kam's hair once and then made him look up by touching his chin, a gesture Kam found strangely familiar until he realized the lady Ivoire had done that to him before a few times as well.

"I think we need to talk," Al said slowly.

Kam didn't move an inch, frozen in place.

"Look, I know we talked about this before, but maybe it didn't really sink in yet, or you didn't understand the first time, but. Remember, I did tell you that there's no way I'll let you get hurt, with me or anyone else, right?"

Kam flinched back. Was this the place where Al told him he'd changed his mind? He knew it'd been too good to be true -

"No, don't. Don't be scared, that - that still goes, I promise. It's just - it's just that I don't understand why you lied."

"I didn't," Kam quickly said, words tumbling off his lips. "I swear, I never."

Al's gaze went to the place where the carpet was still a little stained, though hardly visible anymore from the day before. "You said it was your fault," he said. "Or do I remember wrong?"

"It was my fault -"

"My mother says Fin told her last night that he was clumsy again and spilled things in my room."

Kam opened his mouth, taking a quick breath, because, "That's true, but I should have been more careful, I should have - he - he didn't look, but if I'd said no he wouldn't have tried to hug and then none of it would have happened!"

Al stared at him. "That is some of the strangest logic I've ever heard."

"I didn't lie!"

"Right. I - no, I guess that means you didn't. I'm sorry for thinking that." Al looked sheepish for a second. "I just wanted to know why both of you were claiming to be responsible for it when there won't be any punishment or - I mean. I don't like lying so much, that's all."

Kam nodded. "I didn't, though!"

Al gave him a long look. "One of your previous owners didn't like lying either, huh?"

Kam lowered his head. "Yes."

"Oh. All right. There's no need to lie about anything. You know that, right? Nothing bad'll happen to you, even if you do something wrong. It's best to just tell it right out and -"

"I'm sorry," Kam blurted.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I know I'm not supposed to leave the house but I didn't know the door led outside and maybe he's allowed to, but still, I could have said no and stayed inside but I went anyway!"

"What? Who? And outside where? Did Eliza take you out to the gardens again? Because that's fine, I just don't want you wandering them on your own, they're really big and you might get lost, that's all."

"No," Kam said. "No, it was the chapel."

"Oh." Al frowned and touched his cheek. "Oh, no, that's fine, that's - well, yeah, that's outside, you're right. I was a bit unclear about the general meaning of 'outside'. Sorry. Don't worry about it, you're allowed to go there. You just really shouldn't leave our lands, since there could be people out there who are just passing through, or who aren't trustworthy. They might snatch you away and I might never find you again. It's not that you're a prisoner, you're really not. You should just stay where someone can find you, that's all."

Kam blinked. "So I can - go out?"

"Well, like I said, it's best not to go out alone. You might get lost. But if you take someone with you and tell a servant or - me, my mother or Eliza where you're going, so we can find you whenever, yes, sure."

"Thank you."

Al smiled. "It's really all right. Anything else you want to tell me?"

Kam smiled back hesitantly. "No?"

"Good. Because I think you know by now that I can't resist that smile, so come on. I might be tired, but I'm never too tired for sex."´

Kam nodded quickly and moved his head off Al's knee to squat between his thighs, pushing them apart with his hands, slow and ready to yank himself away should his master give any indication that Kam had read the situation wrong. He didn't. He was wearing pants, though, which made everything more complicated, like pulling the zipper and popping the button and then helping Al to draw it down to pull his cock out of his underwear, half-hard and thickening in his palm.

He was fairly good at sucking, though he knew he'd never be brilliant because he didn't love it, not like some of the other slaves he'd spent time with. Some really hated it as well, but he was just indifferent about it. It didn't turn him on, which was just as well, he thought, because like this he could concentrate on his technique, on keeping his hands moving while his lips and tongue worked around the head of his master's dick, and then down to swallow more of it.

It took a little while, with his master panting above, catching even breaths in between moans of satisfaction, and then there were fingers in his hair, rubbing above his ears and pulling - not hard, but just enough to let him know what Al liked especially well and what was not working.

He swallowed when his master finally came, well-practiced, and let him ride it out, not pulling off until Al fell back onto the bed, panting hard, fingers untangling from Kam's hair. Kam drew back, careful to not fall on his butt from the motion. He rubbed his puffy lips with his finger, cleaning the stickiness off his mouth, then waited.

It took Al a few minutes before he was sitting back up, red-faced and smiling. "You're very good at that," he praised, reaching out with his hand.

Kam blushed. "Thank you, master."

"Come up here." Kam found his hand caught and felt himself pulled up. He followed obediently, settling on the bed next to his master. He was more than surprised when Al reached between his legs to cup his crotch. "You're not hard?"

Kam shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can - if you want again, I can -"

He tried leaning back, spreading his legs, but Al quickly pulled him back into a sitting position. "No, don't. It's fine if you're not in the mood."

Kam nodded. He wasn't really, but if his master wanted to have sex, he could get in the mood. He said as much, but Al shrugged and said, "If you're sure, then it's fine. I'm good now. I'm just wondering what's next - do you have something to do, or do you want to stay? Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, master."

"No to all of the above?"

"No, I haven't eaten. I have nothing else to do."

"And do you want to stay with me?" Al pressed.

Kam bit his lip, trying hard not to smile. Al was getting more attentive, apparently, not so easily turned off a question when Kam had no answer.

"Well?"

"I don't know."

"Good, then I'll decide. I need to move out of the house for a while anyway, all that sitting around in stuffy rooms has me climbing walls. How about we go and eat in the gardens?"

"I don't..." Kam hesitated. "I mean. The kitchen would be more appropriate, maybe?"

"For what? I'm not eating in the kitchen."

"No, master." Kam flushed. "For me."

"Oh, no, we can dine together, I like to have company, and I know my parents have already eaten. My mother has a lot of work to get done these days, the first harvests are being brought in and there's always a big festival around the equinox, so the villages have to be organized for that. She eats in her office chambers or else she'd have sent a servant. And my father won't be back for a few days, he rode out this morning." He must have caught Kam's curious gaze, because he smiled. "You can just ask if you want to know something. He's gone to the seaports - he overlooks the trade in this part of the country, and he has to make sure the necessities have arrived, since the sea storms will be starting in a few weeks and then it'll be very hard to get anything by ship from the main land."

When Kam didn't reply, Al smiled again, wryly this time, and scuffled closer to get a kiss, merging their lips for a few minutes before he broke it off and hopped off the bed. "So, let's dot his. Get yourself presentable, your hair's a mess. I'll go clean up now. In the meantime, you can fetch a servant and let them know I want dinner on the patio, they shall set everything for two - or make that more, maybe some of my mother's slaves'll want to join us. Let whoever you find know to go and ask about this, and make up as many places as others will join?"

Kam stared after him as he vanished into the bathroom. He ran his hand over his hair, trying to flatten it as he contemplated his next step. He'd never done anything like this before, and he didn't think the servants would let a slave command them around, even if it was worded as a friendly request.

"Master?" he called weakly, but there was no reply. The door to the bathroom was firmly closed.

Kam bit his lip and turned towards the door, nervous and not at all sure this would work out at all like his master had envisioned.

 

~*~

 

After dinner, which started out a complete disaster until Kam ran into Ravi on his quest to find a servant and who helped him put everything in order, his master left him to entertain himself and went out - to meet up with some friends, as he said, and Kam shouldn't worry about it, he would be back at nightfall.

"Wait for me in my room," he'd said and called the servants to clean up.

It had been a strange experience to sit at the same table as his master. Only one of his previous masters had allowed him to do so, and he'd been certain that with the aristocratic standings in this house, there was no way he would be allowed, but Al hadn't heard any of it and placed him on a very comfortable chair to his right. The table had been stacked with steaming food: rice ("maybe from my home country," Ravi told him with laughter in her voice), and bits of meat in a tasty sauce, and vegetables, and his master had put lots and lots of it on his plate before telling him to eat as much as he could.

Ravi'd been the only other slave to join them. Now she was trying to get Kam's attention as he stared after his master, a little confused at the abrupt exit.

"He'll be back soon," she reassured him, touching his back gently. "It's just a busy time. He's not always gone this often."

Kam flushed. "I wasn't worried."

"He's scatter-brained," Ravi explained. "It doesn't mean he doesn't like you."

"I wasn't worried," Kam repeated, hackles rising. He hadn't been, not really, not consciously, but if she kept saying that, he might start wondering, and he really didn't need more things to give him ulcers. He was scared enough of all the new expectations, and that he might do things wrong and piss people off.

"All right." Ravi held up her hands. "How about, since the young lord skipped out on dessert, we go to the kitchen and try to get our hands on some for ourselves?"

Kam gave her a dubious look.

"We aren't normally allowed to eat sugary sweets," Ravi nodded, "it's bad for the teeth. But there are some fruits that my mistress obtained for Al's birthday, and she said we should feel free to have a taste."

"Oh. What sorts?" Kam felt a tingle in his stomach. He hadn't had fruit in forever, not the good kind, the tasty, fresh, exotic kind that he'd eaten a handful of times back when he'd been a child -

"Apples, oranges, and there might be some dates left - they're also from India, I think, or at least my mistress claims so. She said they were especially good this time."

Kam'd never heard of dates before, so he said, "I had oranges once. And berries. We used to have lots of different kinds of berries, strawberries and blackberries and raspberries."

Ravi beamed. "That sounds nice. Did you grow them yourselves, where you come from? Or were they wild berries?"

"Both kinds. The black ones were always wild, in the forests, we used to collect them in buckets, there were hundreds and thousands of them - the red ones were in the little gardens, and..." Kam fell silent. "It was nice."

"It sounds really lovely. Did your family have a garden?"

Kam nodded.

"You remember them really well, don't you?" Ravi's voice grew quieter, more calm around the edges. He would have called it soothing, but she wasn't so obvious about it.

"Yes," Kam just said shortly and tried to think of a subject, any subject, that might turn the conversation away from this and towards another topic. Thankfully, he was saved by the fact that their walk towards the kitchen was coming to an end.

Ravi pushed past the door and into the little dining room before the kitchen. The girl from the morning, Sara, was inside, with a handful of other servant boys and girls, talking. When they entered, they all fell silent, expectant. Ravi greeted them with a smile. "Sara, would you mind if we got some fruits from the kitchen?" she asked politely.

"Of course, go right ahead," was the answer, "though be careful. You know how Florence said if there are any more kitchen accidents, she'll be skinning people and boiling them to serve them at the next meal. She's not there right now, but she'll notice if something's out of place."

"I'll keep it in mind. We'll be quick about it," Ravi promised. She pulled Kam with her into the kitchen and stood him by the counter in one corner while immediately heading for a huge basket on a side-table that was filled with delicious-looking fruit. "There's a shelf above your head," she pointed. "Get a bowl?"

There were indeed a lot of bowls hidden within the shelf. He picked one that seemed not too big and not too small and pulled it down, careful not to smash any of the others in the process. In the meantime, she'd found a knife from somewhere and had picked through the fruit, getting oranges and apples and some brown little shriveled things that had a shiny surface, as well as a few branches of grapes, which he'd seen in books before but had never eaten either.

"Okay, that should be enough."

He helped putting it all in the bowl and they kept their promise, hurrying to get out of the kitchen again. Sara gave them a little wave as they left.

Once back in the hallway, Kam turned around his own axis, trying to figure out where they should go.

"Let's go back to my room," Ravi invited him. "You seemed curious before anyway, so now's a good time as any."

"Oh. Really?" Kam tried not to look too hopeful. Too many people had mentioned her room, making him feel like he was missing out on something beautiful by never having seen it.

"Certainly. Come on." Ravi grinned. "You're too cute when you're trying to be all polite and really, really want something. I wonder if Al's figured out already what that expression of yours means."

Kam flushed and shrugged. He had no idea.

"Probably not, he's not very observant." She sighed. "I'll keep reminding him to look out for you better," she promised.

Since there was hardly anything he could say to that, he just nodded. She didn't need to do that, but she knew that already anyway, and it was a nice thing to say, even if, as Kam thought was probable, it wouldn't have any effects whatsoever. It was nice of her to try and make his life more comfortable, especially since she seemed so at ease and at home in this place. Kam didn't think he'd ever feel truly at home here.

Then again, she'd never really had a home, admitted to not remembering a lot about her childhood, and that she'd been shipped around a lot as a child. He remembered almost everything with a startling clarity, until... until it had been taken from him. He didn't remember much about that anymore. It had all happened so fast, in a blur of smoke and fire and screams.

They arrived at the slaves' quarters, but instead of turning towards his room, they took a door on the right, squash in the middle of the five available ones. Just as Ravi opened it to let him inside, another door opened, and a girl stepped out. She was about Ravi's age, and she shared the deep black hair, though it fell down her shoulders in a cascade of ringlets, and she was very slim, downright thin and pale, where Ravi was curvy and dark-skinned.

"That's unusual," Ravi muttered, and gave the girl a half-smile when she passed, looking absent-minded and in deep thought.

"What is?" Kam asked. She hadn't even looked at him properly. Her face had been half-hidden, but he'd seen that she was incredibly pretty in a bird-like, breakable way.

"Nadya. She hardly ever goes about by herself, her twin sister Tsura and her are inseparable."

"They're slaves?" Kam asked, curious how many more of them he'd meet. If every one of the rooms belonged to one, there had to be quite a few around. Hadn't his master said something about seven? Or had it been nine?

"Yes, there's quite a handful of us. Nadya and Tsura have a sad story; they got here pretty late, at your age actually. They weren't slaves before, though, they're from a band of traveling people. Might have been gypsies, though they're fair-skinned, so maybe not. They don't talk about it much, as their family - tribe, they say tribe when they do mention them - was attacked and." Ravi paused.

Kam's stomach turned. "And what?"

"Slaughtered, pretty much," she admitted.

"Oh." Kam looked at the floor. "Why?"

"Who knows? Because they were different? They seemed fairly rich, so maybe someone wanted their possessions. Nadya and Tsura survived some harsh wounds and because of each other, I guess. I wouldn't ask them about any of it, though, they don't like to talk about it. They're beautiful dancers, though, you'll see at the festival during the equinox. They always perform then, and it's mesmerizing."

"Is that what they do when the master and mistress don't have time?" Kam asked. It seemed to him like at least, they weren't too lonely, there being two of them.

"Yes, they dance a lot, even in their free time. Don't want to get out of practice, right?" Ravi teased. "If you have any particular skills, you should maybe keep working on them."

"What skills do you have?" Kam asked in return, ignoring the teasing tone. He had no skills, as far as he knew, aside from bringing in the harvest and picking blackberries.

"You should come inside my room and look. We've been standing around in the hallway long enough as it is."

He did as she asked and stepped inside. It was like stepping into a completely different world. Her walls were covered in shelves, shelves filled with wooden figurines, beautiful carvings, image-sized plates showing carved landscapes or faces. Some of the figurines were colorful, covered in expensive red-blue-green paint, and all of them detailed and perfect in their exquisite beauty.

Kam stared unabashed. To his right, on a shelf that was eye-height, she'd placed animals that she must have seen in books, because he'd seen them as well, but never in real life. There were giraffes and elephants and crocodiles - but there were also horses and cows and sheep and stags. He especially liked the wolf he found; it looked like it must have taken her years to carve every single hair of its fur into the wooden surface.

Ravi was looking at him, watching his reaction with a hint of pride and joy, like she enjoyed him enjoying the vastness of the details more than the fact that she'd made them.

"They're beautiful," he breathed, touching the wolf with a finger. It was very light, and looked so delicate, but he didn't think it would break easily, it was wooden after all.

Ravi walked over to her bed and sat down, her legs curled up beneath her tunic, smiling. "You can touch them, or take them off the shelves, I don't mind," she encouraged him. "Take your time."

And when he managed to rip his gaze off the little doll house that stood, knee-height, in the corner, filled with tiny furniture (it reminded him strangely of the manor, especially when he found his master's bedchamber with a little figurine of Alexander sitting on his bed), he found that she'd put the bowl of fruit beside her and was carving funny patterns into the orange peels with the knife, and that made him laugh.

 

~*~


	9. Chapter 9

Kam returned to his master's room about an hour after finishing off the fruit Ravi had shared with him. The night sky was deep black by that time, and he watched through the window as the stars grew brighter. The sky was different here, he thought, than back at home. The stars looked different, too, almost like they were further away. Rationally, he knew that it was impossible - his home land wasn't far away from here, maybe a few days' ride, a day or two on the ships.

When he'd been a little boy he'd known all the constellations by heart, the dog star, and the bear, and the zodiacs, but he'd forgotten most of them by now and the ones he knew, he couldn't find in the sky. Maybe that was why it looked different.

It took a while before he heard the door open and soft footsteps entered. Even after only two days, he could already tell them apart from most others, their weight and rhythm. A little tinge of obstinacy made him ignore them, act like he hadn't noticed. He stayed where he was, motionless, as Al approached. He'd been enjoying himself, just thinking quietly. Part of him didn't want to let the moment go, even for his master.

His master didn't let him. Hands slipped around his waist and Kam pulled his shoulders, tensing. There was no pain, though, just a soft caress over his stomach and Al's chin prodding his neck as he spoke, "Hey, cheerful. Smile for me?"

Kam tilted his head forward and his hair fell over his eyes as he forced the corners of his lips upward.

"Not like that." Al tightened his grip and sighed. "Oh well. Mother always says when you say something often enough, it might come true."

Kam gave a tiny snort.

"You don't believe that, huh?"

"I don't have the luxury to believe anything," Kam blurted, voice sullen and bitter, and then bit his lip when he remembered who he was talking to. "I'm sorry, master."

"It's fine. Why do you think that?"

Kam shrugged.

"Is this about the chapel earlier?" When Kam lifted his chin in surprise, Al smiled. "I'm paying attention."

He was, and it would have made Kam happy only his master seemed proud of himself for it, and that stung, no matter how much he told himself that it was better than being forgotten (which had happened before, too). He was really glad he was allowed to get his own food here, at least. Just in case his master forgot to pay attention at some point again.

"No," he finally answered. "Not about the chapel."

"Then what's going on?"

Kam stared out the window. He could feel Al's heartbeat, heavy and slow against his back, and his own, faster, fluttering. "I met Nadya today," he explained. "And Ravi told me about her sister."

"Oh, yes, mother felt sorry for them and she saw them dance and thought it might be lovely to buy them, especially together. No one else could afford paying for them both and it would have been a shame to split them up." Al shrugged. "I don't like them much, they're kind of shy and never talk, but mother has her taste, right." He grinned. "Not that different from mine, though, since she did pick you out for me."

Kam ducked his head. "So it doesn't matter that they're sisters." He closed his eyes for a second then half-smiled. "It was nice of your mother to not split them up. They would have been lonely on their own."

Al nodded. "That was the thought behind it."

For a while, they stood in silence, with Al still pressing up against Kam's back; then Kam realized that Al was hard and the little kisses he was pressing against Kam's nape weren't just incidental and he took a deep breath before breaking the embrace and turning in his master's arms, pressing their lips together in a kiss.

Al kissed back gently, coaxing his mouth open with his tongue as his hands slid under Kam's tunic riding it up his hips and his waist to touch the skin there, over his stomach with his thumbs. Kam keened a little and rubbed up against the thigh settling between his own, his cock hardening in his underwear against the pressure.

"Bed," Al ordered, breaking off the kiss. His hands didn't leave Kam though as he guided him backwards and onto the mattress; instead, they pulled the cloth over his head. Then Al slid the undergarment down Kam's thighs and knees and past his feet before spreading his legs apart and slipping between and on top, pushing their bodies together.

He was less gentle than the night before, but not less careful putting his fingers inside Kam's body one after another, sticky with the oil that filled the room with its scent again. He was faster, but Kam never minded fast, didn't mind that this time Al didn't wait around for him and just pushed inside with his hard cock like he was hardly able to wait, or that he finished before Kam could, a few minutes later, not holding out for very long, coming inside, gasping into Kam's ear as his hips worked, belly creating just little enough friction that Kam couldn't get off properly.

He stayed on top of Kam for a few moments; he wasn't especially heavy, so Kam was in no danger to suffocate or break bones, except maybe when Al moved and put his elbow in vulnerable places once or twice. That, though, did Kam's erection some good, as it eased the pressing need to rock up against something right now.

Finally, Al shifted, moaned in half-pleasure, half-pain for pulling out, and said, "I'll suck you off now, all right?" while he kissed Kam on the mouth once more, smiling impishly.

"Master?" Kam blinked. That was... unexpected.

Al waved his hand to quieten him and held his hips still while he slithered down, down until he was on face level with Kam's erection. He pushed Kam's legs further apart and then Kam's right one up and out of the way before he closed his lips around the head and started sucking.

It would have been enough to send Kam off into whimpers of pleasure without the added help of a few fingers moving around his opening, prodding the ring of muscles before up and dipping inside him. His master moved them in and out, sticky and wet with semen, in sync with the bobbing motion of his head, mouth hot and tight around Kam's hard cock, and Kam didn't hold out for very long after that either.

 

~*~

 

The next few days passed in the same manner, or similarly: there was breakfast in the mornings - his master hardly ever got up at the same time as Kam did, which led him to either enjoy the breakfast in silence in the library, careful not to stain any of the books, or with Eliza when she was around and he managed to catch her at the kitchen table, or, twice with Ravi and Griffin in either one of their rooms, Ravi's a wonder of wooden figurines, Griffin's bare and plain as his own.

There was lunch, and dinner, and sometimes desserts, and more and more often, he heard or saw strangers entering the manor, or servants talk among themselves about the equinox that was coming up.

"The neighbouring villages are sending delegates and gathering for it, too," Griffin told him one day while they were practicing reading in the library. "My mistress has been looking forward to it. She spends a lot of time making it so everyone can enjoy it a lot. Do you want to come and watch the twins dance? They should start in a few minutes, as every morning - they make a new dance up that they then need to study every year."

Kam had spent the last three years within the Southcliffe borders and its surrounding lands, but he'd seen two September equinoces locked away in cellars, and one in the auction house, so he'd never participated in the festivities before. "What else is going to happen?" he asked curiously.

"A big bonfire, and people streaming towards it from their villages with lanterns to keep away the evil ghosts. There's lots of food from the harvest - the harvest moon is next week, that's where the gathering begins, there'll be a few days of fasting until the equinox, it's four days this year. I remember the cart best, it's always the prettiest thing about the festivities - it's all made up and all the available girls from the villages that want to marry in the next years are on it, with ribbons in their hair, and the boys can try to win their hearts through the night."

"That sounds nice."

"Yep."

"Are - are the slaves allowed to go?"

"Of course we are!" Griffin emphasized, then took a breath. "Well, I asked the mistress and she said her slaves are. Maybe - maybe you should ask the young Sir about going?"

Kam swallowed and turned back towards the book they were reading.

"But I'm sure he'll let you go! He'll be there definitely. Ravi said he loves the festivals a lot, that he sometimes dresses up so that no one recognizes him until way later."

Kam thought about it, but he knew that Al didn't really like him going off somewhere by himself, and if his master wanted his freedom during the equinox, he wouldn't drag Kam with him to then have to pay attention to him all the time to make sure nothing bad happened. Except if he stopped caring whether or not anything bad happened to Kam - in which case Kam wasn't so sure he wanted to go anymore.

"Maybe I'd like to see the dance," he finally said and put the book aside. They'd been reading for about an hour.

Griffin jumped up, glad to be rid of the exhausting task. "Hurry," he said, smiling widely. "They'll start without us if we're not there."

 

~*~

 

Even hours later, Kam found himself dozing off to the mental images of the two almost identical-looking girls dancing as if they were floating half a foot above the floor, as if the laws of physics held no meaning for them.

The only thing that had managed to draw his attention away from the twins had been the appearance of his master; he hadn't known Al was back already from his visit to the neighboring lordship where he'd spent the past few days, leaving Kam in his mother's capable hands. However, Al hadn't paid him much attention, had only exchanged a few words with the lady Ivoire, who'd been sitting on the futon in the big hall, Ravi curled to her right side, a boy Kam hadn't seen before at her feet.

There was a knock on the door now interrupting his dreaming, and a few seconds of silence before it opened.

"Kam?" his master's voice asked, his body pushing past the gap into the room. "Are you awake?"

"No," Kam said quickly, sitting up, pulling the sheets around himself. "I mean, yes. Yes, I'm awake. I was just dozing a bit."

"What are you doing here?"

"Master?" Kam rubbed his eyes.

"I meant - why aren't you in my room, waiting for me? Did something happen?"

"No. I'm sorry, master. I stay in this room when you're not - when you've not requested me. Is that wrong?"

Al looked at him for a second, then shook his head. "It's fine. Come with me now?"

Kam nodded and hopped off the bed. Before they could leave the room, however, Al turned around once more and took in the interior.

"It still looks like it did when you came here. Don't you want to make it a bit more lively?" he asked

Kam blinked, then shrugged and lowered his chin, trying to hide his face behind his hair.

"What?" Al stepped up to him and touched his cheek. "What is it?"

Kam shook his head.

There was a longer bout of silence before Al opened his mouth, closed it, and finally said, "I'm an idiot." His thumb stroked Kam's cheek gently and moved to his mouth before letting go. "We need to go to the market and buy you some things."

"I don't need -"

"You need some things. Don't talk back to me."

Kam winced. "I'm sorry."

"You need something nice and warm to wear for the equinox anyway, there's no way you're running around in nothing but a tunic. That might be warm enough for the manor, but it's cold outside at night. I forgot my coat once about three days ago while out after dark, I almost froze to death."

"Oh," Kam said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. We can buy a few more things for your room as well while we're there. Maybe you'll find something nice that you like. I still hardly know what you do, beside sitting in the library."

Kam looked at his feet.

"Come on, don't be like that. Least you could do is smile at me for my generosity?" Al batted his eyelashes. His hand moved to Kam's hip and he pressed their bodies close, his nose rubbing against Kam's. "You're so sweet. Whenever I see you, I just want to taste you and kiss you, and then I remember you're mine and that I can. There's no need to be scared, Kam."

Kam returned the kiss eagerly, enjoyed the tongue in his mouth, but he wasn't so sure about the bit where Al started maneouvring him towards the bed at his back after all, like he wanted to have sex right here, right now; it seemed all wrong, somehow, to do this here, it was supposed to be his safe space, wasn't it?

"What?" Al said, breaking the kiss which Kam, in his worries, had forgotten to reciprocate. "Why're you tensing up on me?"

"It's - nothing, master," Kam mumbled, looking anywhere but at his face.

"Kam." Al sighed, pushing him down, until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "It would really help if you would just tell me what's wrong when I ask. If even I realize something's wrong, something must be really wrong. What is it? Are you hurt? Did I do something to hurt you?" He looked genuinely worried.

"No, not - it's not that." Kam put his arms around himself and rubbed them uncomfortably. "It's just. We're here. In - in here."

"The bed's not as nice as mine," Al admitted. "But it should be good for some sex, right?"

Kam nodded, sliding back and spread his legs, pulling his tunic up. It was silly anyway, it was, to think there was anything special about this room, it was one just like any other and he should be happy his master wanted to have sex with him, they hadn't had the opportunity for a while. It should feel good to be wanted.

Al looked at him strangely for a while, then he sighed, kneeled on the bed and positioned Kam so he was lying down properly, before he settled on top of him, between his legs, pressing his face to Kam's neck. Kam wriggled so his master's erection would get some friction and tried to lift his hips to help him out, waiting until Al decided it was enough, until he slipped Kam's underwear off to fuck him.

Except Al didn't; instead, he took a hold of Kam's hips and stilled them, a little sound in the back of his throat. He was still hard, but he didn't move and made no indication that he wanted anything done about that. He just kissed Kam, close-lipped, dry, and breathed in. Then he said, "This is fine, isn't it?"

Kam didn't know what to say, so he just murmured what he hoped would be an affirmative sound. He wasn't quite sure what this was about. When he tried to rock up once more, Al just said, "Maybe we shouldn't do that now."

Kam stared up at him in disbelief.

"Later, after dinner, I'll fuck you, all right?" Al promised.

It was fine with Kam, but very strange. "If, if my master wants -" he tried.

"No, I want this," Al interrupted, sounding irritated as he lifted his head. "Some peace and quiet and cuddles without dozens of people talking at me about a million topics at the same time."

Kam swallowed and nodded. "I'll be quiet."

"Most of the time, you're too quiet," Al sighed, lying down again, forehead to Kam's neck. "You never tell me anything."

"Sorry."

"I wish you'd tell me some stuff, at least," Al said. "Answer some of my questions. So many questions."

Kam stared at the ceiling, trying hard not to move, and tried desperately to think of anything that he could tell his master that would be an acceptable reply to any question, and then realized that he didn't even know which questions Al meant. And if he was honest, he didn't want to tell anyone anything at all, if he could help it. But he doubted that would go over well, if he said that.

"D'you mind if I sleep here for a while?"

"Master?"

"'s your room, right?"

"No, it's just -"

"Thanks," Al interrupted. "It's so nicely quiet here."

Kam sighed and listened to his breathing slowly evening out, and fought, once more, to keep as still as he could to not disturb his master's sleep. His chest was heavy and he couldn't breathe so well himself, but he figured if he closed his eyes, just for a moment, he could get a little rest too, as long as he was here. And he had to admit, with a body atop of himself, it was cosily warm, and it reminded him, if he very hard concentrated on the memory, of the smell of freshly cut grass and little boy sweat of another body pressed close to his own, hiccups and laughter before sleep took over.

 

~*~


	10. Chapter 10

It was colder outside than Kam had thought it would be when he'd looked out the window this morning - the sun had been shining at dawn, but now it had vanished behind thick rain clouds.

He had thought they would make for the city when Al had announced after breakfast that they were going out to buy some things - the city where he'd been auctioned off so many times before. He would have been lying if he'd claimed he hadn't been scared that he was going to be sold off again for not being good enough.

Instead, when they were seated inside the carriage with Kam wearing a borrowed pair of trousers and an old jacket that weighted a ton on his shoulders, Al pulled him close, tucking him under his arm and said, "We'll ride a good half hour to one of the neighbouring villages that's a few miles off - I hope Oakfern'll have everything we need to buy. There's no sense to go to the city for just a few items, sorry."

Kam didn't remember all that much about his first journey to the manor; he'd been dazed, relieved and scared at the same time. He just knew that to him, in that moment, the time it took had seemed endless and too short. He realized now that it might really be further away than he'd assumed, if the first village was at a few miles' distance.

"Master?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Why is your home so isolated?"

"Huh. I - actually haven't got a clue. You would have to ask the person who built it where it stands today? I never thought about it like that. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of uninhabited land around us, but it's not so far to the villages through the forest, like I said, Oakfern's just a few miles. I usually ride up by horse, so if I need anything urgently I just hurry and get there and back within the hour. As for friends - my best friend, the future Earl of Ashville, you probably saw him at my birthday - he lives on the other side of the village, which is not too far. There are a few more friends scattered in the vicinity. The paths are clear when there's no storms, which is good too."

Kam nodded and looked out through the window well as he could while pressed to Al's side. They were indeed passing by the woods, but on a wide, winding path he vaguely remembered from before. He shivered and tried not to let it show. It had been so warm just a few weeks before, but now that there was no sun, just bleak clouds and a cutting wind which thankfully didn't manage to infiltrate the insides of the carriage, he was constantly freezing.

Al rubbed his shoulders. "How did you hold out this long when you get cold this quickly?" he asked with a teasing smile.

"Sorry," Kam muttered. He really tried hiding it. He never used to get cold this quickly when he'd been small, but either it was just a lot colder in these lands or he'd grown less resilient against the temperature drop with age.

"You need to eat more. Get thicker skin." Al rubbed his wrist. "Don't worry, I'll buy you a pretty coat and a colorful cap and proper boots and you won't be so cold anymore, hopefully. And anyway, once we get back home, we'll go sit by the fireplace, that should warm you up."

"Thank you, master," Kam murmured, embarrassed at being so transparent with this issue, and hid his face behind his hair.

 

~*~

 

What his master had called a village turned out to be a small town with dozens upon dozens of hats and little houses unwinding before Kam's eyes as he stood on the main street that passed through the center. It was bigger than the village he'd grown up in, though when he looked around he realized most streets were deserted and there were hardly any people around.

"They're in the fields, or preparing for the harvest, fixing the machines and carts and making sure the cattle and horses are up to pulling the heavy grain to the storages," Al answered the unspoken question. "This time of the year, most of the village is helping out, no matter what else they do for a living usually."

Kam gave him an affronted look. "I know," he said, and then flushed at his own tone. "I mean -"

"How do you know?" Al interrupted. "I thought you were from the city?"

Kam opened his mouth, and then realized where this was going and snapped it shut again. "I apologize," he mumbled, staring at his shoes. "I didn't mean to be rude, master."

"Are you, then? From a village?"

Kam nodded.

"Do I..." Al hesitated, and grabbed Kam's wrist as if he thought Kam'd run away. But no, he just wanted to signal that they should get going, so Kam followed as his master made his way towards what appeared to be a particular shop in one of the side streets. As they walked, Al repeated, "Do I know the village you come from?"

The tone of his voice was hard to read, so Kam just shrugged. "I don't think so."

"Is it so small that I might not know it, or so far away?"

"Master..." Kam said helplessly, and then pulled in his shoulders in defeat. "Maybe both?"

"I see."

Thankfully, there was no more time for Al to ask another pointed question. The sign on the door read that it was open, and Al didn't seem to much care either way because he just pushed at it until it gave and then got Kam to enter before him, half-shoving him inside before he closed the door behind them.

"Shoes," he explained. "The ones you've got don't even fit right."

Kam blinked down at his shoes and moved his right foot. They felt okay, he thought, but decided not to say anything, just in case. If his master wanted to buy shoes, he wasn't going to protest.

 

~*~

The shoemaker was a friendly, older man who'd measured Kam's feet, and had thankfully not spoken to Kam at all, making all conversation with Al or muttering to himself. Afterwards, they left, Al with a promise to return a few days later to collect the finished ware, which Kam thought was way too much trouble for a simple pair of boots.

Al begged to differ. "They'll hold forever," he said. "Look at these." He held up his left leg. "Two years now, and still looking like new. His leather is the best quality. He needs to get a new apprentice, though, because the one he's got does shit work, some of the seams on the new boots that were on display were not so neat."

"They'll be the same as yours?" Kam mouthed in surprise, frowning, and then couldn't help but smile at the thought. He was so used to walking barfoot or in old, half-wooden, biting shoes that could be bought at the city market for a few copper coins, he'd already been baffled that he was getting measured ones. "Master..."

Al was smiling too, watching him out of the corner of his eyes, and shook his head. "They'll be smaller, because you seem to have smaller feet than mine. And now we'll go buy you some more things to put in your room. You like books, right? What sort? Poems? Griffin told me you've been laughing quietly in the library, which means he's got something from you I have not yet had the pleasure to sample. That seems inappropriate, so I feel today's mission shall be to make you laugh out loud at least once."

Kam felt the beginnings of said laughter bubble up, but held on and instead gave Al a wider smile, nodding.

The next shop they entered was the kind of store that collected all sorts of things, the kind where they were put up on shelves and countertops and stacked into closets and left in peace until someone came along whose fancy it caught. It was dusty, too, so the first thing Kam did was to sneeze.

Al blinked, then gave a laugh. "Was that your sneeze?"

Kam flushed.

"That was - how can you sneeze differently from any other sneeze I've ever heard? Mayorie, did you hear this?"

Before Kam could wonder, a woman appeared from behind one of the shelves, carrying a wooden box in her arms. She was not old, but not quite young either, with dark hair in a ponytail and laughter in her eyes. "I heard," she confessed. "It was quite an unusual sneeze, my boy."

"It's Kam," Al said, and Kam felt the need to kneel down except Al's hand was on his wrist again, squeezing reassuringly. "We've come to buy some things for his room. He likes books, so maybe we can find some with poems? And I wanted to buy him the thing from before. With the paper that you showed me last time that I had no use for? Other than that, we're looking for pretty things that'll fit."

"Hm," Mayorie said, smiling mischievously. "So that's what you want." Then she turned to Kam, and her smile softened. "And what does Kam want?"

Al straightened. "Hey, that's not fair! It's all for him! How can he not want it?"

Kam lowered his chin and nodded. "Whatever my master buys will be too much already," he whispered. "Thank you."

"Ow, don't give me that look," Al rebuked gently. "I thought - I mean. This was supposed to make you laugh, right? I didn't mean to choose everything for you." A second hand joined the first on his wrist and tugged, making Kam look back up. "Don't listen to her, all right? Those'll just be my gifts. And I think they're damn good ones, too. You can choose some things by yourself!"

Mayorie gave a little sigh of despair and Kam winced. "Whatever my master wants," he mumbled.

"Al," Mayorie interrupted, "you should maybe try this differently."

Al abruptly let go of Kam's hand and turned around, looking annoyed and helpless. "You might wonder," he told Kam, voice strained, "why she can talk to me that way."

Mayorie's kind eyes turned hard. "Don't. Really, don't even start!"

"See, Kam, my father was born here. In this village, little Oakfern, sounds pretty, right? And it's so funny because they all still feel like they can judge my mother for who she is when half the village's inbred. And then the ones who do 'let' me come here, gracious as they are, they feel like they can just order me around, even though it's actually all mine and I could throw them out on their asses if I felt like flatting this land. "

Kam was trying hard to vanish. Sinking into the ground, he felt, might be a good ability to have. Or merging with the walls. If he pressed back against the shelf even harder, he might become part of it. He didn't like the tone in Al's voice, or the scowl on Mayorie's face.

"Al, grow up," she said. "I was just trying to offer advice -"

"That's what all of you're just trying to do, right, offering advice, and oh, at the same time maybe, I don't know, break up my family. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need your advice or your clumsy attempts at intrigue -"

"I can see that."

There was more going on here than met the eye, Kam was sure. He tried not to think of a book he could have right now, on his own, gifted, admittedly, and to be taken away at a whim, but still sort of his own, if his master hadn't started to fight, if the woman hadn't tried to interfere -

"Kam?"

Kam startled, head rucking up.

"Mayorie and I will go get your gift now from the back. Is it fine if you stay here on your own for a few minutes? I promise I won't be long. You can pick whatever you like?"

"If - if my master thinks it's fine," Kam stuttered. They still looked annoyed with one another, but they'd stopped fighting. He hadn't even noticed how the fight had ended.

"A few minutes," Al promised and Mayorie rolled her eyes, leading him towards the back room Kam caught a glimpse of.

 

~*~

 

In the end, Kam didn't really pick anything for himself, but Mayorie saw him looking at a figurine of a dancing couple that she gifted him with, which was made of some coppery metal. He liked it and it reminded him of Ravi's work, and he thought maybe she might like it and make a wooden figurine like this too, so they could have a matching pair. He didn't get to see what his master had bought.

"I'll show you when we get back? It's yours anyway, but it'll be more fun when we're in my room and you can look at it there." He smiled. "And thank me properly." Kam's smile dimmed, but Al's attention was already on the books that were shelved in one corner. "Did you look at these?" he asked. "I don't think anyone knows the exact contents of our library anymore, though Hally volunteered to make a listing a few months ago, so if you need that, you should ask at some point if it's finished. How much are these, Mayorie?"

Mayorie returned from where she'd been unpacking new boxes and stepped towards the shelf. "Depends on which book you mean. Some of them are very old and worn, but also precious and unique, some of them are made with really good paper that won't break anytime soon, some have little golden and silver linings, which adds to the price, too. Kam?"

Kam gave her a wary look.

"Would you like to have a quick look over them?"

Kam took her invite when Al nodded at him to go ahead and scanned the titles. He'd looked before already, but he hadn't dared to keep any, even though he'd brought up the courage to take some out and look at the insides. One of them in particular, a palm-sized book that seemed to be an adventure story about the land of deserts and that had drawings in it of pyramids and sphinxes, had caught his gaze. He lingered on it even now. It had to be very expensive, though, because the paper felt different, rougher, older, and it was much thicker - and the words were in a different language in places.

"Hey, Al?" Mayorie said.

"Give him some time," Al said impatiently. "It's not like you just have a handful, this is quite a number. I'll definitely come back once that index is done, some of them look interesting."

"Good. I'll be looking forward to your golden coins. In the meantime, you could give Kam a chance at some real education."

"Are you calling Kam stupid?"

"Oh, shush, I said nothing of the sort. But there's one book a friend brought me when she came back with her shipment from the south continent? It's very special, and I think if Kam's interested in lyrical prose and likes a challenge, it might be just the book for him? Here," she took the book he'd been looking at before. She was holding it like a delicate flower. "Take a look?"

Al accepted it and leafed carefully through it before nodding. "Looks beautiful. Kam, would you be interested in something like this? Is it what you like to read about?"

Kam tried not to look too eager when he nodded, catching Mayorie's smile out of the corner of his eye. It grew bigger when he returned it with a tiny one of his own.

"Great. One down. Anything else?"

Kam shook his head. "No, master." He hesitated, then with a look to the door through which they'd come, said, "The sky is very dark."

"A storm, huh?" Al cursed under his breath. "Hopefully just a small one, for now. Still, we should hurry up, you're right. Let's pay and go buy you some clothes and head home."

 

~*~

 

They hastened back to the carriage, with Al explaining on the way that the seamstress he wanted to visit was living on the completely opposite side of the village. "Usually, we'd just go by foot, but the weather's looking like it's going to make our way back a good fight through the mud. If we speed up, we might make it through the woods at least before it starts raining like buckets."

They criss-crossed the village, the horses' hooves clacking over the ground, and with everything that had happened, Kam felt himself gather the courage to prod if he could ask a question.

Al grinned at that. "Of course you can," he said. "You just did, didn't you?"

Kam smiled. "Yes. But master - can I ask, do you. Um. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, or - because I am very grateful. For everything. For taking me with you. It's just. Do you - do you do this for all your slaves?"

Al blinked. "Not me personally, since you're my one and only." He quickly pecked Kam's mouth, teeth clacking when the carriage rucked over a stone on the street. "So specifically, no? Generally, mother does this, yes. I mean. You need to be fine, right? It's part of the whole responsibility I have for you now?"

Kam gave him a dubious look.

"Hey!" Al teased. "No making fun of me in your head, I do actually listen to my parents' lectures, even if I pretend not to. And it's nice, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"To take care of you like this. Buy you things. It's nice. It feels good."

Al was looking content but also expectant, so Kam ducked his head and allowed himself to say, "Yes. Feels nice." Even though it was for all the wrong reasons. Because it felt good to know that he'd done well in something. That there was some way other than sex where he was good enough to please his master. He didn't care for the material things. Except maybe the figurine, but that was a real gift.

"Now." The carriage stopped. "Let's go in there to get you set up for the harsher seasons." Al squeezed his hand and then let go, climbing out, helping him out of the carriage as well. "Maybe she'll have something in your size that we can take home right away. And something pretty for the equinox for you to wear." Al pulled him closer and hugged him, kissing his nose when he pulled back again. "So I can show you off."

Kam forced another smile that he owed for the compliment he'd just received and followed Al into the cozy house, through the tiny wooden front door that was open even though there was no sign of this being a shop, and into a prettily decorated antechamber where a servant was already waiting, helping Al out of his coat and asking them to sit down for a moment. Apparently, the seamstress would be down in just a minute.

"Would you like some tea, mylord?" the young man asked, bowing, not the first to do so in the village, but the first one to do it so gracefully.

"Thank you," Al smiled. "Two cups, one for my slave as well?"

"Yes, Sir."

Kam sank down by his master's feet when Al sat down on one of the seats to wait. He would have let out a sigh of contentment, but instead of giving himself away, he closed his eyes, relieved that he was getting a moment's worth of rest. And that it was warm in here. Al's fingers buried in his hair, caressing his nape, and he put his face against his master's knee, exhausted.

 

~*~


	11. Chapter 11

There was a long, song-filled procession of wagons at dusk, dozens, maybe even hundreds of girls sitting or standing on them, giggling amongst themselves, laughing happily whenever one of them lost flowers to a boy she liked along the way, chattering, singing tunes of love and hope and spring-time. Kam had never seen anything like it before, but he enjoyed watching them as they passed him by on their way towards the feast field where the firewood had already been stacked in the morning, ready to be devoured by the flames. Al's hand was warm in his own, his left arm curled protectively around Kam's waist.

"Are you cold?" he mumbled when Kam shivered.

"No. Thank you, master." He was wearing a thick coat and warm shoes and with his master's shape pressed against his own body, it wasn't the cold night air he was shivering from.

"Your fingers are cold," Al commented. He was heavily enveloped in coat, gloves, thick woolen hat in order to become unrecognizable for the procession. His face was half-hidden by the cape of his coat.

Kam turned his head and smiled. "I'm fine. Really, I am. It's so pretty, you know?"

"Yes. I know." Al smiled back and kissed him then, his lips chapped, his mouth tasting of the cherry wine that he'd drunken earlier; he'd given Kam a tiny sip to try, and Kam had liked it. He chased the taste with his tongue now, remembering how it had burned down his throat, made his belly tingle with warmth.

The last of the wagons passed, pulled by a pair of oxen, and was followed by the rest of the village people who'd been watching the spectacle from the sidelines. Not everyone had come; Al had said probably half of the villagers were already waiting at the field, getting the fire ready, setting up the harvest gifts, offering to the gods before the sun set completely.

"Let's go," Al said finally, disentangling them, placing a last kiss on Kam's cheek. "We should get there as fast as we can now, or you'll miss the twins' dance. Are you hungry?"

Kam hid his eyeroll by rubbing his sleeve over his face and shook his head. "Master," he said, when Al kissed him again, grinning widely.

"I know, I know. All right, come on."

They did arrive in time for the dance. Kam had seen a practice when Griffin had taken him to see it, but this was different in a way Kam hadn't expected. It was partly the audience's doing, villagers, towns-people, workers, all standing around in a wide circle so that as many people could watch as possible. Or maybe it was the musician who was sitting on a chair in the middle, playing much better than anything Kam'd heard recently, pulling strings in a way that to him was both eerily familiar and utterly foreign.

Nadya and Tsura moved like fluid rivers, twining and intercepting each other, their feet never more than inches apart, and yet never missing a step. Their skirts floated and darted around. When the music picked up speed, they almost blurred with the intensity. When it slowed into a soft, romantic tune, they became languid creatures of longing, making Kam wish for something he couldn't name, something he'd pushed away a long time ago, a spark in his chest he didn't want to remember.

They danced for hours it seemed, until the sun had long climbed past the horizon line. With the last sun ray, the last chord faded away, leaving the two girls frozen in place in their final pose.

The crowd roared and clapped, and they bowed, one smiling shyly, the other's face a cool mask of impassivity. Kam didn't join in the applause and the whistles. It took a while for the enchantment to wear off for him, and he didn't see or hear much around himself as long as it lasted, just stood there, at one edge of the dissolving circle with his arms around himself, trying not to shiver - once more not from the cold but from emotion he didn't really want to feel.

When the last of the people started to move on, towards the food-stacked tables and the warmth of the fire, and the twins had vanished into the crowd, Kam shook his head finally and looked around only to find that Al wasn't standing next to him any longer, and that he must have let go of Kam's hand quite a while ago.

No one he recognized was nearby. Al hadn't said a word about going somewhere - or maybe he had, and Kam just hadn't heard him? Kam tried not to panic. It wasn't the end of the world. He knew what to do in situations like these, they'd talked about it the day before: he was going to stay where he was, because that was where Al had seen him last, and wait until Al came back from where he'd run off to. The way he'd been acting all evening, he was probably just off to get food for them, or a torch, so they could warm themselves with the fire. The wind had picked up, the clouds were getting thicker. It looked like a storm might be on its way. He shivered. Going closer to the fire would have been a really good idea.

"Hey! Hey, Kam!"

Kam whirled around at the voice. Relief flooded his chest when he recognized Ravi running towards him.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously, stopping before him.

Kam shrugged, looking at his shoes.

"Where's Al? Didn't he promise to take care of you tonight?"

"I lost him," Kam mumbled. "I'm waiting here so he can find me again."

"Oh, honey." Ravi took his hand. "You don't have to stay here all night in the cold, don't be stupid. Do you want to come with me to my mistress? She has a seat by the fire set up, you'll be safe there. You have your bracelet, right?"

Kam lifted his hand to show her he hadn't lost that, the bracelet Al had given him when they'd left the manor a few hours before, with the emblem of his house stamped in shatterproof metal, a clear sign that he was a slave of the family. It was more of a handcuff, but Kam hadn't protested.

"Some families have their slaves wear that constantly," his master had explained as he put it on Kam's wrist gently, pocketing the key. "Just in case someone gets lost. You know what I mean. It's still better than the ones who brand."

Kam had shuddered at the thought. He'd been hurt, but nothing permanent like that, nothing that could lower his price drastically like a branding. He'd known a girl who was branded once. She'd tried to convince herself it was a good thing, that it meant she'd stay with her new mistress forever now; but all it meant was that she was useless to anyone else afterwards. It didn't ensure any security. Nothing did except the letter of freedom, and even that was sometimes overlooked or nullified in the aftermath.

"Nothing like that will happen to you here, okay?" Al had reassured him. "I don't think it's a good idea anyway. This is for your own safety, in case someone attempts to do something to you that you don't want. Nobody'll touch you if you show them this. There's a very harsh penalty for abuse of property, especially the future Duke's."

"Good," Ravi was saying now, clicking her own bracelet against his. "Let's see if we can find the young master first. And if we don't, I'll tell my mistress what happened and you can be under her protection for the rest of the night until your master thinks to look for you with her."

"But..." Kam bit his lip. He tried to form words, but he didn't know how to offer his protest without sounding like he was presuming things.

"Don't fret," Ravi smirked, apparently knowing exactly what he wanted to say. "It's his lordship's fault for running off without you. A little panic will do him a world of good."

"You think he'll worry?" Kam asked. She was pulling him along by his wrist, her steps longer than his. She looked very pretty tonight, especially when they got closer to the fire and he saw her face illuminated in the flames, reds and oranges flashing over her dark hair. He smiled tentatively when she grinned and said, "Of course he will. He really likes you."

"Okay."

"Now, let's see if he's near the fire somewhere. I'm not holding out hopes, though, he probably got sidelined by some pretty-faced boy or girl in the crowd offering to hump him silly. He'll be back once he's done."

They walked around the fire once, looking left and right, but Ravi was right. Al was nowhere to be seen, even amongst the noblemen and women that were discernible from the crowd by their entourage of slaves around them, their superior dresses or their seating. He recognized the lady Ivoire's space immediately, with Griffin not far from her seat, jumping up and down, singing a rowdy song with a few other young boys.

Ravi laughed at the silly rhymes and tugged him further towards the lady, who was in discussion with a tall, bulky man. Kam couldn't see her face very well, only her hair welling over her shoulder in soft locks; but he could feel all his muscles lock up when his eyes fell on the man's face.

At the sight, the bottom of his stomach dropped and bile rose in his throat, making his eyes tear with distress and a sharp sting of remembered pain. He knew that face; it wasn't something Kam would ever forget, the face of the man responsible for destroying his life, even though it had been years. All the little crooks and angles of the man's face had burned themselves into his mind, like the fire that had burned down his house, and the bodies of his parents.

"Kam. Hey, Kam, what's wrong?"

Kam didn't take his eyes off the man.

"Kam, you're staring. You're going to attract attention -"

For a wild moment, Kam wanted that attention. He wanted the man's eyes to meet his own, wanted the recognition in them, and wanted to hold a dagger in his palm so that the expression would turn from condescending to fearful. But he didn't hold anything, didn't own anything to hold - he was a slave, clothed in expensive material, true, clean and pretty, but nothing more. Not dangerous.

"Kam, seriously, move," Ravi hissed, and Kam realized two of her mistress's slaves whom he hadn't met yet had turned around and were watching him stare, might soon make the lady herself turn around to face him, and then, following that, the man's eyes, and suddenly, he didn't want them on him, knew he'd feel filthy and used, worse than by being a slave.

"Please, get me out of here," he said, hoarse, lowering his chin to his chest so that his hair would hide his face.

Ravi just glanced at him for one second. She whirled and pulled him with her, away from the fire, away from the warmth into the cold of the night, drawing him to her body so they wouldn't be further apart than their coats. They were a few steps away, then a few more steps, and then out of reach, out of sight, mingling amongst the crowd, then moving away from all the people, until he felt Ravi stop. It was quieter here. Her arms wrapped around his body.

She smelled nice, he thought. He focused on that, buried his face in her hair and let her stroke his back as he tried to get his breathing under control. Then she asked, "What was that all about?", still holding him close so he couldn't move away, and suddenly, he couldn't keep silent anymore.

"Who was he?" he asked, swallowing a few times in quick succession. "The man sitting with your mistress. What's his name?"

"Duke Graham of South Ondria; his duchy borders Southcliffe. Have you seen him before?" Her voice sounded concerned.

Kam nodded.

"I'm not surprised, he used to be very famous in these lands a few years back, during the wars on the Islands. He's more infamous now, if you know what I mean, ever since the Islands dried up." She snorted. "Stupid man. Enslaving the people will do that to a place - oh." Her whole face transformed, lips parting in horror. "Oh heavens, Kam. You're -"

"No. No, I don't, I'm not! "

"You're from the Islands? Why didn't you say anything?"

"You'd have done what?" He wanted to break free, but she didn't let him. "It's just like what they did to your people, your country. It's what they do to every tribe they come upon in their wondrous journey of discovery, it's not like I'm special."

Ravi held his shoulders firm and looked at him seriously. "It's different with your people."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is." She paused. "Kam, what do you mean by special? Do you - are you one of the ones who have it? The - what is it your people call it?"

"No, I don't. It doesn't work like that. Let go of me."

Ravi did, letting him wrestle out of the grip she had on his shoulders. She didn't look happy about it. "You can talk to me, you know that, right?" she offered. "Don't do anything stupid."

"And what would that be?"

"I don't know. But Graham's an important figure still, despite the fact that his war didn't pan out as he planned. He's still popular with certain nobles, especially in these parts -"

"Nobles like your mistress," Kam bit out.

"Maybe. I don't know, Kam. I don't mingle in politics, it's not my place. It doesn't matter; there is nothing you can do. You should let it go."

"I will," Kam lied.

"Good." Ravi reached out for his hand again, but he stepped back.

"Don't."

"Then don't try to run away. It's too dangerous. You don't know your way around these parts."

"And you do?"

Ravi gave him a long look. "I've been living here for years. Of course I do. I've been here before. That doesn't mean I want to be part of a search squad because you took off towards the forest, leaving your brain behind."

"I'm not going to run," Kam told her; even though it had crossed his mind to do just that, hide somewhere, even if the possibility of death far outweighed the possibility of freedom. 'Lord Graham' - at least he knew his name now. Though... maybe he could ask his master about it later. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked; maybe the discussion he'd witnessed earlier had been a courtesy call between neighbors.

Maybe Al and his parents had nothing to do with the wars on the Islands.

He took a deep breath. "It wasn't even a war," he mumbled finally, looking around for a place to sit down. There were trunks from felled trees a few yards away. He picked one and put his forehead to his knees once he was seated. His stomach was still rebelling, and his muscles felt too tight.

They were far enough from the commotion that the songs and the voices sounded filtered and muffled; they were definitely not close enough to be privy to the light or warmth from the fire. And now that he paid attention, he could even feel the occasional drop landing on his coat or the ground beside him. They were tiny and far apart, but it was still an indication of the coming storm.

Ravi pushed at his shoulder when he glanced up. She was standing beside him, and when he shuffled over, she squeezed onto the trunk beside him and pulled him against her, his face against her neck, his arm around her waist.

They sat like that for minutes - it had to be minutes, because an owl's hoots echoed regularly from the nearby forest; then she wriggled and asked, "What do you mean by that, it wasn't a war?"

Kam shrugged against her. "What I said."

"If it wasn't a war, what -"

"It was a massacre, okay." Kam tried to keep his voice from cracking by taking another deep breath. "He just - we weren't going to fight, we never - there wasn't even any hunt, no weapons, my - my family, everyone's families, we were just living there, you know, we never did anything to anyone, and when he came with his army of men, with their - their weapons, burning everything down and raping people! We weren't prepared for that! Nobody had any idea people like that existed, it was... It was so horrible."

He shook his head. He didn't want to remember, but it all flooded back; his throat felt like it was squeezing shut, leaving him with no voice and no breath. "The land was screaming," he croaked. "The island, it was - and then they pushed all of us - the children, no adults, the adults were all killed, slaughtered - they took us and brought us here and."

He stopped. He'd ended up here. A slave to the people who'd killed his family.

Ravi stroked his hair. She didn't say anything, but he could feel the tension in her body, fighting the urge to shake with anger.

Kam felt numb. The memories were awful enough, but the feelings that went with it, waves of fear and helplessness and unconscious fury, and then fear again, panic when he'd realized what was happening, the first time the men had picked out children to take to their tents, the first time someone'd pushed him into the ground and used him –

A sob escaped him.

"Shhh," Ravi whispered. "Shh, it's over, all right, you're not in danger of them anymore. It's all in the past, you're here with me now."

Kam concentrated on her touch, on the feel of her fingers in his hair, on her scent, her warm breath ghosting over his cheek, the cold around them as they hunched together, and he managed to wrestle down the second sob. It was okay, he told himself, she was here, he wasn't alone, offering him solace and comfort, and it really was all right, for now. It was fine.

He hadn't truly had a friend in years, not since that first time he'd offered his friendship and been betrayed for it. He was a fast learner; he hadn't given it to anyone else since then. But she wasn't a fellow slave, she had another mistress, so there was no need for her to use him to gain favor, and she seemed like someone he could trust, someone he could share - had shared his story with already. He'd told her when he didn't normally tell anyone else, because their reactions…

He raised his face from her neck and looked at her. Her eyes were a little teary, but she looked determined too, her touch firm and consoling.

Kam closed his eyes and let himself fall forward, towards her, waiting for the inevitable shove as their lips brushed.

Ravi's intake of breath was loud in the half-silence around them; the owl hooted again. Ravi let his lips linger against hers, chastely, without motion. He tried to deepen the kiss, made a little sound in the back of his throat before opening his mouth, pushing forwards – attempting to, because she gripped his face with her right hand, palming his cheek, and kept him in place, not pushing him away, but not letting him closer either.

Her expression was carefully neutral when she drew back a few inches and said, "Kam."

"I want -"

"We can't. You know the rules."

"But you want to?"

She snorted. "You're beautiful. You're sweet and - yes. Yes, I'd love to kiss you. To touch you all over. We can't, though. Not without permission."

"It's just a kiss!"

"It's a kiss that might land us both in the auction house quicker than you can say your master's name," she warned him. She didn't move away, though, just kept their faces apart enough so it wouldn't look too compromising. Her eyes were huge and black and beautiful. "You know how it works. They say they'll never give you away. The unspoken agreement here is that you don't do anything to displease them. Al's possessive, Kam."

"He's not even here."

"That's not how it works." She gave him an amused look. "Like you don't know that."

Kam ducked his head. Shame welled up inside him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Besides, there is another reason the permission rule exists."

Kam closed his eyes and let his upper body fall forward, forehead hitting his knees for the second time that evening.

"I will always treasure that you told me about yourself," Ravi told him. "I swear I won't betray your trust in me. But I don't think impulsive sex with someone who's not your master is the way to go to take your mind off the things you've just been forced to feel. I get it, all right? But it's better this way. And, well." She paused, almost looking awkward. "I don't want that sort of thank you."

Kam felt himself flush deeply.

"Don't be embarrassed. I told you, if you can get permission, and my mistress gives it her blessing, I'm sure I will enjoy nothing more than to share my body with you, too, besides being a friend you can confide in. But not right now, all right?"

She touched his cheek and he nodded. She didn't look like she wanted him to apologize a few more times. He felt like he should, but he didn't think he could speak right in this moment.

In a way, he was glad that he couldn't. He might have said something he would regret later. He'd already told her too much; he didn't want to see any more pity on her face, and the rest was his secret to keep, and Nite's, who he knew would never want him to tell anyone, who'd suffered more than enough, and who was maybe now somewhere better, somewhere on his own little island with their parents, or maybe, if he was to believe people here, with the gods, safe in their embrace.

Kam had to believe that. He did believe that. It didn't help the need to send the bastard who'd killed him to whatever hellish afterlife he deserved. They could go together, for all he cared.

 

~~~

Kam couldn't tell how much time had passed when Ravi finally announced they should head back towards the feast. He felt a jolt in his stomach, a I don't want to, as prominent as it was ever going to be. He couldn't stay here forever, so in the end, he got up and let Ravi take his hand to lead him back into the thinning cluster of people around the fire.

Al was back when they approached the seat of the duchess; he was standing by his mother, in the place Graham had sat before. At first Kam felt worried that there might be reproach and loud words about his absence, his time spent with Ravi when he should have been waiting for his master to come and collect him, but it turned out that Al had other things to deal with and didn't spare him more than a glance and a nod before turning back to his mother, looking to resume what looked like a fight that had been going on for a while.

Lady Ivoire accepted no re-engagement. A quick hand motion interrupted his rushed, heated words, and she said, "That is enough," in a tone so harsh and chilly that even Al paled, taking a step back. "You will do as you are told, and that is the end of this discussion. Now go make sure your slave is unharmed, and then we'll be going home. We will talk about the rest tomorrow morning during breakfast, should Sabine condescend to join us."

Next to him, Ravi stiffened.

"What?" Kam whispered, hardly moving his lips.

"Later," Ravi replied, hushed. "Come by my room if you -"

"Ravi?"

Ravi stood up straighter, jutting her hips forward, elbows back.

Lady Ivoire nodded towards Griffin, who was curled up on the ground in his slightly-too-big-coat, cheeks reddened from the heat of the fire. "Please, take care of Griffin; he made a few friends today and they tired him out. You know where we left the carriages, just in case you're slowed down?"

"Yes, mistress."

"Good. The rest of you - with me." She stood from her chair and stretched, drawing her throws more closely around her.

Kam didn't watch the little group of people gather to follow, because his master appeared in front of him; he was still simmering with anger and didn't appear to care about Kam's disappearance, nor his own.

"We're leaving," he said curtly.

Kam felt like he should be falling to his knees but refrained, as there wasn't enough time. He just followed with hasty steps. Their walk back to the carriage was silent. Waves of fury came off Al even when they sat inside and Al leaned into him, breathing out heavily. Kam didn't dare to ask what had happened. He kept to himself, staring out into the night. He didn't know how equinox feasts usually ended, but he had a feeling it wasn't like this.

 

~*~

 

Instead of dismissing him once they returned to the manor, Al kept Kam back by clenching his fingers around Kam's, and said, "This wasn't how I envisioned for this night to end," with a bitter little twist to his mouth that Kam hadn't seen before.

"Master?" he asked for clarification. He figured that might be a given for most attendants of this household, if the mood upon arrival back here had been any indication.

Al sighed, bit his lip. "Let's go up to my room," he said. "There are a few things we need to talk about."

But of course, when they got there, they didn't talk. Kam hadn't really expected them to.

He wasn't particularly surprised when, instead of sitting him down to explain, Al pushed him towards the bed, laid him down and started to take off his clothes with hurried fingers. Kam'd stripped off the coat upon entrance already, but Al had bought him a thick woolen pullover that he'd been wearing, and the pants, which had been unfamiliar after the long time in his tunic. It seemed to entertain his master to rip them off him, not at all as delicate as back when he'd helped Kam dress in them.

He lifted his hips to help with the pants, and Al pulled down his underwear too, throwing everything to the floor by the bed. It was the last of the clothes, then he was naked.

When Kam reached for his master's top, Al just wiggled away. "No," he said. "Don't. Like this." His voice was slurred, as if he'd had too much wine. He didn't taste like wine, just angry, with his eyes cold and acidic. This was nothing like Al usually was. The fast, blistering blaze of a temper tantrum Kam could understand. He feared it, but he could cower before it. This was different. This had a sense of helpless rage about it that Kam knew all to well and had tried to suppress as long as he could remember.

He didn't protest the manhandling, the hard grip on his wrists that would leave fingerprints for him to feel until the next day, or the fact that Al made him turn around, shifting so he end up on his hands and knees. He didn't make a sound, just listened to the pounding in his ears and ignored the way his cock grew half-hard when Al rubbed up against him, his erection pressing against his ass through the denim of his pants.

"I need," Al gasped, kissing between Kam's shoulder blades. His fingers were gripping Kam's hips too hard, hurting him, and Kam was very glad when he let go. "I just, I can't." It wasn't coherent, just like the hurried sound of a popped button wasn't, like the scratch of pants against skin when Al pushed them down his own hips, exposing his cock.

"Master," Kam said softly. He closed his eyes. There was a smell of cherry still lingering from Al's breath, but mostly of firewood and flames and charcoal clinging to them both, making Kam feel sick. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be in the shower, eradicating it, getting the taste off his tongue.

Al grabbed him - as if Kam'd been asking for more attention, not less - and jerked his erection a few times, making sure he stayed hard, more than half-hard, before the head of Al's cock rubbed over Kam's hole, and Kam let him, expected the pain, keeping perfectly still.

The pressure vanished.

Al swore into his shoulder. Then it returned, but this time it were his fingers instead, as if using them to stretch and to prepare was a habit so far ingrained in him it was by now instinctive. He spread some wetness around Kam's hole, dipping a finger in, adding another after too short a time. The sting could have been worse, Kam told himself, and held in a sound of pain. Al was murmuring under his breath, licking a path up and down Kam's side while his fingers worked him open, scissoring, making sure he wouldn't tear when Al fucked him.

"I don't - is this okay? Tell me if it's enough," Al demanded at long last, and his voice wavered. There was a little hitch at the end, enough, like he was close to crying.

Kam nodded, pressed back into the fingers lodged into his body, trying to enjoy the stretch, because enjoying it was better than the alternative. "I'm fine," he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. "It's fine."

There was another kiss, the nape of his neck this time, like a thank you; then the fingers vanished and Al's cock was back, the head pressing in, and it hurt, it felt like it was too much until he slid in too deep too fast. Kam gasped again and clenched his fingers around the white sheets of his master's bed.

 

~*~

 

He was flying, he was a bird. Something was weighting him down, and it was so hard to stay in the air, to beat his wings one more time, it was pulling him down, and when he looked to the weight, he could see a blurry body, held by his claws, and he couldn't make out the face because there was smoke everywhere, before his eyes, coming from the body, like it was burning. He had a feeling he knew who it was, and that his claws were ripping the flesh from bones, he was hurting this person, it was his fault that the screams were piercing the air. Then he was no longer flying, suddenly he was falling, screaming as he fell, along with the figure in his arms, they were screaming together.

The person was gone. Instead it was himself being ripped apart from the inside, blood everywhere, and there was still smoke, the smell everywhere, and someone saying, you've done this, and then, someone else joining in and all he could hear was, wake up, wake up, wake - up!"

Kam fought with his blanket until he was free, sweating, sucking in huge gulps of air, until he realized he was not actually dying. The next thing that registered was the voice, gone now, and then where he was, who he was with. He had to take a deep breath to calm the frantic beating of his heart.

When he finally looked up, Al was sitting beside him, staring at him with concern. He couldn't meet his eyes.

"Kam?"

Kam wanted to reply, but his throat was so dry he couldn't get out a word. When Al's hand touched his spine, he flinched away, then beat himself up for it. This was what he did, what he was. He had no right -

"You had a nightmare," Al stated. He didn't try to touch again. "Are you okay?"

Kam nodded. The images were softening already around the edges, getting further away the longer he was awake. He was fine. It had been at its worst when he'd been caught in the dream.

"Do you need me to get you anything? Water?"

Kam nodded. He made to get out of the bed, but Al just shook his head and said, "Stay. Don't move just yet."

A minute later, he was back with a glass of water from the bathroom that Kam drank with thirsty gulps, like he'd been starved for this, like he hadn't drunk anything for weeks. Once he was done, Al took the glass from him and put it away. Kam was grateful for the additional minute it bought him before the inevitable questions.

The moment Al was back on the bed, perching on the edge, naked, not shivering despite the cold night air, he asked, "Do you want to talk about the dream?"

Kam looked up at him. He met his master's eyes for once, just to make sure Al knew he was being absolutely truthful, and said, "No," with as much conviction as he could muster.

Al sighed. "I figured." After a pause, he continued, "I'm not going to order you to give me details about this. Just tell me if this happens often?"

"No."

"How often?"

"It doesn't," Kam replied. "It was - I don't have nightmares usually. This was - I don't know why." He shouldn't have talked to Ravi. He shouldn't have opened that can of worms, that was why, but he couldn't tell his master that.

"Okay. All right, that's - that's good. Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Can you stand?"

He could stand, but every step hurt, more than he'd have thought it might. It had been a while since anyone'd fucked him like that. He masked it as well as he could and chastised himself for being so stupid. He'd been getting too comfortable. There was nothing worse than a slave who became too comfortable in his life.

"Gods, I'm sorry." Al grabbed his upper arm and left his marks there, as well. "You're hurt. Don't make that stone-face, you are. That was so - I just got so frustrated and angry at everyone." He helped Kam sit on the edge of the tub and started the water, making sure it wasn't too hot or cold before starting to fill up the tub. "Do you need a doctor?" He looked ashamed.

"No," Kam mumbled. "I'm fine."

"You're limping. I hurt you, shit. Again."

"I'm fine, master," Kam reassured him. Reminded him.

"It's not fine. But I guess it's done now. What time - oh. Still a few hours till sunrise. Are you tired? You must be tired." Al looked away. "We didn't stay out all that long tonight, but it must have been stressful anyway. Did you have fun? What did you do while I was gone?"

"Nothing much."

"Come, now, you must have spent your time somehow." Al checked the water temperature again and slowly helped Kam over the edge to sit down in the tub. "This all right?"

The water was warm, but not unbearably so, and it felt very good to immerse his body in it, let it float him a little as he leaned back. "Thank you, master," he said, just to express how grateful he was that he wasn't going to be handed out to a few more people to fuck after a night like that. That - he might be getting too comfortable, but he was almost sure that wasn't going to happen to him here. Almost.

Instead of saying anything else, Al gave him a tiny smile and reached over to get the soap, and then rubbed over his back, spooning up water and washing him gingerly, like he was afraid Kam would break. Kam ducked his head and let it happen. If that was what his master wanted, he wasn't going to protest. It felt really good.

A few minutes later, the prod did come after all. "So, while I was gone -?"

"We just - waited by the fire for a while, then walked over the fields, went to the forest border, and talked. That's all." Kam touched a bubble and it burst.

"We?"

"Ravi and me," Kam mumbled. When he looked up, he saw a flash of something on Al's face. It was gone immediately, but he'd seen it, and Ravi's words were still echoing clear in his mind. Of course, they hadn't done anything, so he hoped - no. He stopped the train of thought. He couldn't be sure there was nothing to worry about. He would be more careful in the future. He couldn't risk angering his master, and if this was what it took. Well, he'd spent a lot of time in the past few years being alone. It hadn't killed him till now, and he didn't even mind so much, not really.

"Good," Al finally said, standing up straight. "Soak for a while longer. I'm going back to bed. Get out when you feel like you're done?"

Kam's chin snapped up. "Master?"

"I'll be going."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not - that's not what I meant. I did something wrong. I feel like shit. I'll - please, don't feel like you have to share my bed tonight anymore if you don't want to, that would be - I mean. I'd understand. After." Al's lips pursed. "I'll just give you some time alone."

"Master?"

By the door, Al turned around once more. "Kam?"

Kam shook his head. "Sleep well," was all he managed to croak out. His stomach churned, and he'd wanted to ask where Al'd been all night, why he'd been so angry, if it had something to do with Graham being there. But he let the moment pass, because Al gave him a little smile, corners of his mouth curling up, and said, "You too, beautiful."

 

~*~

 

A knock awoke Kam the next morning. He hadn't been fully asleep, just dozing, so he called whoever it was to come in. He was carefully getting up from his own bed when a servant girl popped her head around his door.

"You're requested for breakfast. On the patio," she said. "Be quick about it, and keep yourself presentable."

She was gone before he could ask what was going on. Then he remembered the Lady's words last night, buried under everything else, something about breakfast and a girl joining them. He just knew that that had made his master even angrier.

Kam managed to appear by the entrance to the patio just as Al walked around the corner, thunderclouds over his head. When he started to lower himself to his knees, however, Al's expression softened and he shook his head.

"There's no need for that right now. Please, follow me, there's a seat for you by the table."

"What's going on, master?" Kam asked, when Al's hand closed over the door handle that would lead outside. He could see people sitting around a table there, not many, maybe a dozen.

"We're having breakfast," Al said. "It's nothing to worry about. We're having guests, that is all."

Kam was just about to wonder what guests Al was speaking about; when the door opened to let them out, he wished he had not bothered to get up at all, had ignored the order or maybe made that run for the woods the night before after all.

At the table, Lord Graham rose from his seat, along with the rest of the table, especially a girl seated by his right, possibly his master's age, who was glaring venomously at Al, as openly as Kam hadn't seen anyone dare before.

Lord Aaron was on Graham's left, well-off and returned from travel, looking not quite yet well-rested, but not as haggard as he'd seemed the last time Kam'd seen him, just before he'd gone off towards the shores. He was easily gesturing at two free seats that were incidentally just opposite the young lady and what was probably her slave (her bracelet was fixed to her right wrist, cutting into her flesh).

Kam forced himself to ignore all sensation rushing through him at the thought of sharing the same table with his family's murderer, forced himself to swallow the bile, look at the floor instead of that face. The last one didn't work so well, because he had to know, had to see if Graham would recognize him too.

However, the man's gaze passed over him like he wasn't there, another patch of see-through air, and instead settled on Al's face, pleased and quite friendly, not a look Al returned. He didn't even remember. Kam was just one amongst a thousand of victims, maybe a million. Maybe people like Graham never saw the individuals anyway. Maybe it was all just a writhing mass of bodies to them, without faces, without any of the things that made every single person unique.

"I feel like there's no point in prolonging this any more than it already has been," Lady Ivoire announced, shooting her son a very displeased look. "Lady Sabine, we're very glad you found the leisure and good health to finally join our breakfast table."

Sabine's face flushed and paled in rapid succession before settling on a healthy shade of pink. "I'm sure my fiancé enjoyed every minute respite he received away from the here-gathered company, all but myself excluded of this insult, of course. Ouch!" For a moment, there was a breath of silence, before she inhaled, and, glaring now at Graham, sweetly continued, "But I fear, as my father urges me to accept, it must become a regular occurrence for all of us now."

Kam stared, as did most of the table beside Lord Aaron, who seemed to be having trouble controlling a twitch that looked a lot like he was close to laughter; Lady Ivoire looked unsure how to reply, or if she should even acknowledge this.

"Stop staring," Al murmured at him under his breath, and when Kam immediately followed that order, shifting his gaze to his master's face instead, he caught the tail end of an eye roll and an expression of grudging respect.

"I'm sorry, master," Kam whispered, looking at his lap.

"It's fine. It's new to you. It's an old game to me." He huffed. "I hate having them here."

Kam felt something clear in his chest. "Master?"

"Please, begin to eat," Lady Ivoire gestured. It seemed she, along with the rest of the table, had come to the conclusion to simply close her eyes against any and all inconsistencies happening here today.

"Yes, Kam?" Al heaped some fruit onto Kam's plate, and added a slice of bread.

Kam stared at the already-peeled orange. "Is Lord Graham a family friend?"

"What?"

"I just..."

"I guess some people would call it that. I wouldn't. It's just the Noble Court, you know, he's got a seat, my mother does; it's politics? It's nothing to worry about." Al picked Kam's fork up and held it up to him. "Now, food first. Later, you'll have to help me make a quick escape."

Kam gave him a nonplussed look, but nodded to go along with it. Nothing to worry about, certainly; except if it made his master angry like it had last night, it was definitely worrisome enough for Kam to try and figure things out.

He had a feeling he'd have to be more forceful about his questions, though, if he wanted to get any answers. He hadn't had the slightest idea Al was promised to someone. A girl, much less, who was the daughter of - Kam looked down at his plate and started automatically shovel the food he had into his mouth. Around him, the conversation went on about the newest fashion trends, some theater group passing through the lands, and last night's equinox festival, that had apparently ended in a thunderstorm they'd evaded just in time.

"Count us lucky," Al commented moodily under his breath, when Sabine pointed this out.

Kam wasn't sure he agreed. After all, someone might have been struck by lightening if they'd just stayed a little longer.

 

~*~


	12. Chapter 12

Over the next two weeks, the weather grew steadily worse. Kam overheard a few men talking to Lord Aaron about shipments lost at sea, how pirates were growing audacious as their scavenged loots diminished because fewer ships dared to go to sea. There were thunderstorms every other night, and the nights there were none, it was still raining incessantly, the sky cloudy and grey. Everything stayed wet, the grounds muddy and full of sludge, thick enough that Kam once got stuck with his foot in the ground while walking the gardens and had to fight to get out. He didn't try to leave the manor again.

The walls were cold now. Fires constantly burned in the chambers, with servants logging wood to keep them going, but it didn't keep the chill out, especially not out of the bedding. Winter was fast approaching. Supplies and goods were stored for winter, but rations were smaller for everyone, just to be on the safe side. It didn't mean that Kam was going hungry, but he wasn't going to bed with a full stomach either. He'd grown used to the feeling of being sated. Now he regretted being so greedy before, and it made him stay awake late into the night, remembering a time when he was starving, dreading the return of that clawing feeling in his stomach.

There was another hurt pounding through him that was even worse, though: these days, his master was preoccupied with other things in the evenings, as if his attention was being drawn away to something that deserved it more. Kam felt lonelier every time he ghosted through the darkened hallways of the manor that no one but the servants used, trying to find something to occupy himself with.

He found himself trapped in a routine every day, unable to change anything about it, and he hated that. The only time he saw his master was during lunch, and he wasn't stupid: it wasn't for Kam's company that they spent that time together; it was a matter of convenience. After lunch, Al took Kam to his bed and fucked him until they were both gasping with pleasure, out of breath. He always made sure they both orgasmed before he climbed out and to the bathroom, and then vanished without looking back.

Kam would have gladly given up the orgasm if it had meant his master would stay with him longer and tell him he was wanted. There was a dread building in his stomach now, a fear that it would be again like every time it had been before, that he wasn't good enough to meet his master's needs again, that there was just something lacking about him when all he wanted was to be good at this if he couldn't be free.

He felt brave enough one evening to go by his master's room, just to see if he was there, giving his time to someone else. He knew it was unnecessarily cruel to himself to want to witness that, but he told himself it would be best to find out when he was going to be sold again, how soon it would be time for him to leave.

When he knocked, though, there was no reply, and when he carefully opened the door, an excuse ready in the back of his mind, Al wasn't even in his chambers. Kam had no idea where else to look. Al was neither in the library nor the kitchens nor anywhere in the open rooms Kam checked, not the music or the dining room.

It took another day during which Kam never left his room. He stayed on his bed, staring at his ceiling without moving. The position felt vaguely comforting, as did imagining his room smaller than it was, with its wall closing in, keeping him confined to the bed. The numbness came back slowly. It had been his solace back when he'd first been sold off. He'd just turned sixteen, not young enough to be illegal, but Narius had never let him leave the house, so it wasn't like anyone would have cared if he'd been younger.

He fought thoughts of the years before that; they made him nauseous and his stomach contracted painfully. Instead, he focused on breathing slowly, enjoying the tininess of the space, the worry that slowly ebbed away at the thought of being forgotten.

Someone would get him before he starved, they always did. Until then, they'd leave him alone. They never called the master. It meant more food for them, more attention. Kam had always been fine on his own; he was very self-sufficient.

'You don't need me, really, do you? You just need a spot to sit down and some food and water now and then and you'll be fine,' his mistress had said once, cradling him gently after sex. She'd sold him a few days later.

He still didn't know whether he would agree with that impression. Back then, he'd just nodded along, because that's what they always wanted when they were talking like that, just an ear to listen quietly, a nod and an appropriate sound now and then. He wasn't sure what to make of it today.

Someone walked past his room, footsteps on the floor outside. They didn't stop and there was no knock. They moved on. Kam turned his head and let relief wash over him, and a flash of disappointment. He missed Ravi. He missed Griffin, but mostly he missed Ravi. He hadn't talked to her since the equinox. She'd tried to approach him a few times, but he'd always pulled away, wished to make her stay away. He'd been so sure that's what Al was mad about, that he somehow knew about their friendship and was jealous of it. He'd thought if he quit spending time with her...

It wasn't working. Everything was going wrong, and he had no idea how to fix it. He moved to his side and curled up in a fetal position, pulling his knees up to his chest.

He was very close to falling asleep like that, shivering, feeling too lonely to care, when the knock came. There had been no footsteps this time, or maybe he hadn't heard them. His heart sped up in worry and fear and he had to swallow twice before his voice worked and he could call them in.

He expected one of the other slaves, or a servant, or, at the worst/best/worst, his master. The last person he expected to slither inside was Eliza. She'd left the manor before the equinox and she hadn't said good-bye. He knew it was stupid to have expectations, but he'd had the impression before that she might actually care. What if he'd been sold in the meantime? They would never have had the chance to say good-bye then.

"Kam. Are you all right?" Her voice was gentle and prodding as she approached.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, half sitting up onto his elbow to watch her.

Her face was scrunched up with concern under her dripping hair. She looked like she'd just changed out of wet clothes and thrown something on without looking.

"You don't look fine," she said. "You look devastated. Sarah from the kitchen told me you didn't have your meals today."

"Why'd you care?" he blurted, and sucked in the air sharply when he realized what he'd just said. "I'm sorry!"

"No." Eliza stepped closer and when he didn't move to get away, she sat down by his feet and touched his calves. "I'm the one who's sorry. I had to leave in a hurry, there was a problem with the business."

"The woodcutting business," Kam mumbled.

"Good memory!" Eliza smiled. When he didn't smile back, her face fell. "I really am sorry I had to leave. What happened? I leave for a few weeks and I come back to see everyone unhappy."

Kam shrugged. He had an idea, but he didn't think she really wanted his opinion on this.  
Eliza sighed and patted his calf and tried not to drip rainwater onto his bed. "All right. How about if I tell you that when I got back to my room about an hour ago, Ravi was waiting for me to talk?"

That got his attention. Kam turned his head to stare at her, heart speeding up. He couldn't believe she would have told anyone. She'd promised it would stay a secret! But he'd heard that promise before, and it hadn't stuck then... How could he have been so stupid to believe a word she said?

"She asked me if you'd ever shared your story with me. When I said no, she nodded, but she didn't tell me more about that even when I asked. She just said you'd been behaving strangely the past week or two. Since the equinox festival?" Eliza gave him a thoughtful look. "Did something happen between the two of you? Is that why she thinks you're avoiding her?"

"I'm not avoiding her," Kam said. "And nothing happened. Everything's fine."

"Not for Ravi, it isn't. And Al doesn't seem too happy either. I didn't get to speak to him for long, you know we don't get along very well, but we greeted each other when I arrived, and I saw how unhappy he looked."

There was always someone who needed to be fixing everything for other people. Kam disliked those people. He didn't need anyone to fix things for him; he wanted to fix them himself. He wanted to do things right, he wanted to be good at something.

He didn't want to dislike Eliza. When he thought back about spending that morning with her in the gardens when he'd first arrived, never mind the trouble it had gotten him into, he remembered laughing. She'd made him feel okay on a day when he had been scared out of his mind. But now...

"I know I just got back," Eliza continued, trying to catch his gaze even though he wasn't meeting her eyes. "I want you to know though that if you need any help, I'm here to listen."

"Until you leave again," Kam said, and it came out more bitter than he'd wanted. He managed to reign in his own voice enough to add, "I'm fine. I don't need any help."

"All right. If you say so." Eliza got up and off the bed. "But you need to eat. Come on. I'm going to get some dinner. I know they're rationing food right now, but they'll make an exception if they see how skinny we both got over it."

Kam wanted to shake his head and tell her he was fine right where he was, and that he wasn't hungry at all, even though his stomach was hurting from it. But that had not sounded like a request. It sounded like an order wrapped in pleasant words. And he knew orders, so he slowly swung his feet off the bed and followed her out of the room.

 

~*~

 

Whatever it was that he did that night during dinner must have somehow clued Eliza in on at least part of what was going on, because the next morning, just as it was starting to go on noon, there was another knock on the door, and this time, his anxiety wasn't for nothing, because it turned out to be his master.

Al entered looking like the last thing he wanted was to be here. Kam swallowed. He knew that feeling.

For the time of a few blinks, they stared at each other silently; then Kam lowered his gaze to the floor and started to get off his bed to sink to his knees. That was his role after all. The heavy weight in his abdomen reminded him that as far as this particular household was concerned, it might not be for very much longer.

"Don't," Al said, and his voice was louder in the room than it had any right to be. "Please. Stay seated."

Kam obeyed, perching on the edge of the mattress. He pressed his flat hands against his thighs to keep them from clenching to fists and stared at them intently. He was scared. He hadn't even lasted half a year. He knew what happened to slaves who got shipped around for too long. He didn't want to go back there, and he didn't want to die, but he'd rather die than go back -

"The thing is." Al took a breath. "The thing is, you don't ever smile, or if you do, it's a fake smile that's nice but your eyes never smile with it, so you always look like you're unhappy and suffering. But when I ask, you don't tell me why, or what happened to you, or how I can make it better. It makes me feel like I can't, and that makes me feel stupid because I should be able to. I can make everything better, except maybe the weather."

He gave a choked-off little laugh like he thought that was funny. It wasn't.

"You never tell me about yourself. If I want to talk to you, you have no opinions on anything. You make me want to give you good things, but when I do, you say thank you like I forced you to swallow a cockroach. Don't look at me like that, you might be good at pretending, but I know the difference between a slave that's happy to get a gift and you."

Kam closed his mouth. Protesting would do no good.

"And you're doing it right now. I can see you're not dead in there. You have those moments where I can see that you want to speak up, tell me I'm being a total jerk, but you never do, you always just close down and - is that how it is? You pretend like you're not really alive and I treat you like you're not? Because I tried, but it's not working for me."

Al looked indignant and exhausted and out of his mind with frustration. He was letting it all show on his face, in his stance, the clenched fists, the curled-in shoulders. Kam looked away again. It made him scared. Sometimes, that sort of thing led to an explosion. He remembered the last time Al had been really frustrated and angry about something. It had felt good until it hadn't.

"But then you go off with Ravi and she does her magic and afterwards, you seem happier, you're more open, you - you look different. Until I do something stupid and hurt you and you close off and I'm sorry, I really am, I'm just learning, though, okay? I can't pay attention to everything!"

Kam had no idea what to say to that. It was clear his master was expecting him to reply, or give him some clue about how to proceed, but Kam's mind was wiped blank. He didn't think that about himself, with Ravi. He just liked her because she was sweet to him, and she smelled nice, and she was beautiful and refreshingly forceful and clear about whatever she wanted. But he liked Griffin too. She wasn't special. Not in the way Al was thinking.

"Well?" His master made a swooping motion with his arms. "Tell me something!"

He was going to get sold again. Kam stared hard at his hands and tried to suppress the tears that were slowly rising to his eyes. If he didn't come up with something his master would like to hear, he was going to get shipped off again, maybe not even to the auction house this time. He was getting too old; he might end up at a whorehouse. He couldn't do that again. This was bad enough - having the memories from that, was bad enough.

He could lie. Everything in him rebelled against the thought, like a conditioned reflex, because with the lying came the beating; if he was caught lying, it would be so much worse.

But maybe. Maybe he could start with something easy. Something obvious. Something that didn't hurt, but that didn't tell too much about who he was, wouldn't give his master too much about him. He fumbled for words, mind racing, and finally said, "I like animals."

He held his breath after that. He realized he'd squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the bed next to him dip and an arm curled around his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. Al was sniffling a little bit.

"I'm just trying to be a good master," he muttered. "I'm so sorry about that night. And the past few weeks. I've been fighting with my mother about the whole fiancée thing. We never used to fight. It was always my father I never got along with, so now we're trying, I'm trying harder, just so I can... we spend the evenings together. He doesn't like the thought of you, so I don't bring you. I thought leaving you alone would be the best idea. I thought - if spending time with Ravi made you happier, you should have the time do that."

Kam made a sound in the back of his throat.

"Ravi told me you weren't speaking with her. And Eliza came last night to shout at me." Al winced. "I didn't mean to neglect you. Please, never stop eating again."

"I didn't," Kam said hoarsely, then added in afterthought, "not consciously."

"Don't do it unconsciously either," Al said. He leaned in and kissed Kam's cheek. Then he shivered. "It's cold in here."

Kam gave him a disbelieving look. There was no fireplace, and the walls were slowly sucking in the cold night air, so it was chilly, especially in the mornings.

"Aren't you freezing at night?"

"No, master," Kam said. "I'm fine." Surprisingly, he was. He had thick covers on his bed, which he'd found there when it had started to get cold, and he slept in the tunic now that he'd figured out how to do his laundry. It was warm enough.

"All right. Maybe 'I'm fine' should be your name instead of Kam, but all right." Al nuzzled his cheek when Kam didn't crack a smile. He looked disappointed and sad. "Your room's still bare. Even Eliza noticed and she said she was in here for barely a few minutes."

Kam nodded. It was true, after all. "Sorry."

"Don't - god. Don't apologize. I just think it's strange. Don't you want to feel at home here?"

It was a good question. Kam wondered that himself sometimes. But then he remembered that he'd been here for only a few months, and the longest he'd ever made it in a household had been a year, and that cured him from any need to think about permanence. Forcing the non-committal sounds back down, he decided to go with the truth. He figured he could always apologize profusely if it was inappropriate. "I want to," he said softly. "But I'm not sure how long I'll be staying."

"What?"

Kam felt the fingers that had held him gently before tighten around him, gripping his upper arm with too much strength. He winced, and Al let go immediately, standing up from his spot on the bed to stare at Kam.

Kam bit his lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend -"

"Heavens yes, I'm offended!" Al exclaimed. "I remember telling you slaves are lifetime investments for this family. Do you think I'd lie about something like that? I'm not selling you off at the next best opportunity!"

"But it's not working out," Kam blurted. "You said yourself you don't know what to do to make it work, and I can't -"

"That doesn't mean I'm giving you away!" Al had his hands on his hips, scowling. "I told you before, I might be an ass about some things, and I get frustrated easily, but you're my responsibility now. Even if it's not working out, we can still try to figure stuff out, can't we? I'll get angry and rant at you, but I'm trying, and I want you to try too, and you are, aren't you. You don't want me to sell you, do you?" Al sounded scared suddenly. Like it was his life on the line, like it was somehow going to affect him if Kam said yes, said he wanted to leave here.

Kam shook his head. It wasn't perfect, but he wasn't stupid. This was the best place he'd been at yet.

"I wouldn't lie about something like this," Al said firmly. "I'm keeping you until you try to take off from here yourself." He marched to the door. He looked like he had his mind made up. Kam felt a warm swirl where the weight had been before. "You should think about that for a while," Al added.

When he was almost out the door, he looked back one more time, almost as if he'd remembered something as he was stepping through. "What sort of animal?" he asked.

Kam stared. "Master?"

"You said you liked animals. What sort?"

Kam shook his head. "Cats," he finally said. "I like cats."

They'd had all sorts of animals at the farm, puppies and cats prowling around, a few goats, horses, and piglets wrestling in the mud. He'd loved the cats most, because sometimes at night, when Nite was trying to show how mature he already was by sleeping in the haystack all by himself, he got lonely, and they always seemed to know, curling around him, purring and meowing, their fur soft against his face and arms and legs, comfortable stretching out on his stomach and chest.

Al gave him a huge smile. "Cats are great," he said. "Good choice."

Kam's heart beat a little faster when he considered what that might mean. He felt like calling Al back, telling him to stay, or at least to not go yet, but that was pathetic, and his master probably had other responsibilities as well, so he did the only thing he could think of that might make his master happy. He smiled.

 

~*~


	13. Chapter 13

Just as promised, Kam found Al trying hard from then on: when he wasn't with Kam himself, he sent someone else. This was mostly Griffin, who more often than not dragged Kam to the library to practice reading, or to any other quiet place they could stay in, so that they could make up stories of wild adventures at sea, or of travelling up towards north, as far as the snowy fields of the flatlands.

Sometimes, Ravi sat with him, or let him in her room, where he went through her figurines one by one, taking them in his hands, touching, learning the care with which she'd created each and every piece, and sometimes even the stories behind them. Still, it wasn't quite like it had been before, and he wasn't sure why, or how to make it better.

Now that Eliza was back, she took him for walks outside a lot, making him leave the house even when he might have preferred to stay inside. At least the storms had ceased, and the rain was rarer, so they hardly ever returned soaked. Instead, summery times were making a last tired upraise before vanishing completely for the duration of the coming winter months. The sun peeked through clouds more often than not, warming the earth - and Kam's face, when he lifted it towards the rays.

"I like how the leaves change color, how it turns everything so vibrant and… and noisy," he told Eliza one such afternoon, as they picked dry sticks and leaves and late-blooming flowers for what she called her 'arrangements of boredom'. Kam'd never made one of those before, so he was all too happy to be included in a quest that required collecting and tinkering and handcrafting.

She was letting him carry the basket with their little treasures; he'd taken it off her arm when she'd insisted on bringing it.

"Look, there's chestnuts over there," Eliza smiled at him, pointing towards a few trees that were hidden amongst lines of pines and almost-leafless elms that provided shadows in the high summer. They'd ventured into a part of the garden they hadn't walked to before, further out west, rearwards of the estate. "We should get a few of those, too, to try and roast them later this week."

Kam made a face and tried to hide that he had, but Eliza'd caught it and laughed instead of being offended. "You don't like roasted chestnuts?"

Kam quirked a half-grin. "Do I have to eat them, or can I just smell them?"

"Personally, I like the taste, but no one's going to force any down your throat," Eliza reassured him. "Don't worry; there are enough people in the house who love them enough to be utterly glad there's one enthusiast less."

"Does..." Kam bit his lip. "Does my master like them?"

"What? Oh, you mean Al. No." She gave a bark of laughter. "He absolutely loathes them. Though when he was little, and not as above playing and being silly once in a while, he loved staging scenes with them. He put little sticks in, as legs and arms, and stuck small and big ones together to form shapes, and he created whole farms with cows and sheep - even glued wool bits on those sheep to make them look more real."

Kam returned her smile fully this time, because he could imagine it, even though he had no idea what his master had looked like when he'd been small. Warmth pooled in his stomach and he shivered when he thought back to days where he'd done the same thing. Maybe their childhoods, despite different countries, different status, different families, didn't vary all that much after all.

They walked towards the trees in comforting silence, matching steps, with Eliza humming under her breath, a tune Kam didn't know but enjoyed, spinning their own thoughts. He felt bold enough to interrupt her tune when he spotted the first scattered few chestnuts on the ground, split open from their prickly bur, and asked, "Do you want me to fill the basket with them, Miss Eliza?"

"I have pockets, too," Eliza nodded. "I'll help. Not too full, though, I don't want them to squish our treasures."

She called them treasures, even though they were just asters and seven-sun flowers, dry wooden sticks, hazelnuts and acorns; Kam thought it was sweet, so he adopted the word, imagining he was carrying real treasures, things that were so precious he couldn't lose or break them for anything in the world. He placed the chestnuts that were dry and whole on top of his collectibles and looked for a handful up in the tree too, catching some that were still enclosed in their shell.

"You should take them to Al," Eliza prodded when they were done. The basket was a lot heavier now, and her pockets were bulging. "Not all of them, but a few, just to remind him. Maybe he'll share some of his stories. Like that one time Frederic was over and you know boys, so of course they had to make a whole army of little chestnut soldiers and march in war against other countries - hey, what's wrong?"

Kam turned away. He wished he'd expected this, that he hadn't stopped paying attention and that his feelings hadn't shown on his face as clearly as they must have. He was better at this usually, but he'd dropped his guard. He should know better. Every time he did it, it only hurt more. He'd been slowly getting himself used to the thought that his master had never shown any liking for sword-fighting or shooting things, or tendencies for destroying things just for the sake of it, that he probably wasn't even aware that such things as had happened to Kam's home were going on. His master was so young still, after all, and it had been years since the war...

Eliza touched the back of his neck, making him jump. She pulled up his scarf to cover the bit of skin that had freed up, and said, "No, I don't like wars either."

Kam nodded. "Whoever does?" His voice was full of bite.

"Kam. It was just a little-kid game. I'd be honest with you if I thought there was reason to worry, I promise. You know I'm not impressed by my nephew's general attitude and the carelessness he shows, but he's not a monster, and I don't think there is anything about war that he romanticizes anymore."

The tone of her voice made Kam stop in mid-step and he raised his chin towards her in question. She didn't give him anything. She wanted him to ask, like he hardly ever did. If he wanted to know more, he'd have to go that step. Everything inside him bristled at the thought of doing it here and now, at her command, at being forced into it.

Then he realized that she had never been that cruel, that she'd always tried to protect him. And he'd gotten to know her a little over the past days and weeks. Maybe she wasn't pushing, or forcing him. Maybe she was offering him the option to ask questions without having to beg for permission, in her own round-about way.

"Can I ask -?" he started.

"Always," she fell in, making a gesture for him to keep walking. They were getting closer to the house, and Kam was starting to freeze now that the sun was almost fully set - as was Eliza, if the color of her cheeks was any indication. It was a good idea to keep moving. "You can ask me anything, Kam, and always."

Kam nodded, relief easing his breath. "Thank you." He swallowed, rubbed his fingers along the spots of the basket-handle that were rough. "So. So why would you say that? About my master?"

Eliza glanced at him. "He spent about three months with the infantry up north by the border."

It was a surprise, and a hard hit to his self-fabricated image of a master who didn't like war and violence. Kam stared at his feet as they moved, stepped one before the other, on and on. He'd never heard about that. Maybe he wasn't supposed to know. Or maybe he hadn't wanted to know.

"Ivoire didn't want to let him go, as you can imagine," Eliza said with a note of scorn, "but Aaron insisted. The deal was six months, and that he not leave the country, or do any real fighting. No one really knows what happened, who drew first weapon, or who fired the first shot, but instead of patrolling the border like a good little foot soldier, his unit had to step in to prevent several of the border towns from annihilating each other. He stayed for a few weeks of the fighting, but by then, Ivoire had pulled all possible strings to get him back home, and even Aaron had to admit that was not what he'd had in mind."

Kam pressed his lips together and struggled to find words to comment on this in any way without ending up stuttering and making no sense. Thankfully, Eliza didn't seem to be expecting him to reply anything to it. "You should ask him about it some time," she said instead, her eyes warm as he met her gaze. "He doesn't usually like to talk about it, but I think if it was you who asked, he'd tell."

Kam nodded shyly. He didn't know how he'd ask about any of this, how he'd even start. But he also knew that asking about it might tell him more about his master's - or his master's family's - involvement in the war on the Islands, and he wanted to know if it was really how Eliza had said. Or what was going on. He wanted the truth, most of all, so he could make decisions. He didn't have a lot of decisions left to make, in his situation, but the few he could make, he didn't want to make based on half-truths and assumptions. He wasn't stupid.

"Now, let's get warmed up," Eliza interrupted his thoughts when she realized he wouldn't be saying anything soon. "Are you hungry? Maybe you'd like a hot beverage? Your lips are turning an admittedly fetching blue."

Kam tried a smile and failed, and instead just swallowed. "Thank you. I- I'm not very hungry. Or thirsty."

And instead of pressing, she let it go, which was probably another one of those reasons why he liked spending time with her so much.

 

~*~

 

Kam felt cold after their trip, and he felt like he needed to let everything he'd just learned sink in, so the first thing he did when he returned to his room was to grab a new tunic and head for a soak in hot water. The bath was empty when he entered, except for a single, very young servant girl sitting on her heels by the pumps and heater, playing a game of marble stones with herself that she quickly hid in her pockets when she saw him approach.

Instead of a mask of indifference, however, she gave him a little smile and held out her hands. "I can take your clothes if you want," she offered.

He'd never seen her before, and with this address, Kam knew for sure that she was new on the household staff. By now Kam had done this often enough to know that most servants considered it below their notice to interact with slaves any more than they had to. He caught himself smiling back, and nodded with an added, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said. She quickly averted her eyes, a blush turning her whole face an unflattering red, when he pulled the tunic over his head on the spot and handed it over, along with his fresh one.

Oh, he thought, dumbstruck, when he realized why, and felt awkward, like he suddenly had to cover his body from her eyes. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced in a while.

The water was scalding hot when he slid into it. His muscles relaxed instantly - he hadn't even realized how tense he was. It felt good, especially feeling his toes unfreeze, the blood rushing back into his extremities, and the warm steam rising to cover his face, thawing his lips and nose, making them prickle.

He closed his eyes, just for a second, and let his thoughts wander, away from the constant buzzing in his mind about wars and his master, and to winters ago, when he'd made his own chestnut animals, when he'd collected hazelnuts and walnuts, hand in hand with his mother, to later eat or play with them.

Winter hadn't always been nice, back at home - when it got cold, food got scarce, and they had to huddle together for warmth because firewood had to be rationed. But it wasn't all bad, either. Those last years, Nite had come of an age where he'd started insisting on doing things alone, on being old enough, especially to sleep all by himself. In winter, those desires vanished like the summer heat, and then they still got to sleep curled together, arms around each other for warmth, smelling of boy sweat and grass and the scents of their skins mixing.

He didn't know how long he daydreamed - not too long, he guessed, just ten, twenty minutes – until there was a shy touch to his naked shoulder where he was leaning with it against the edge of the pool. When he opened his eyes, the servant girl was peering down into his face with concern.

"You shouldn't fall asleep in the water," she told him earnestly. "There could be an accident, and I don't know how to swim."

Kam blinked. He wanted to ask why she had to work her hours covering the bathroom, of all things, if that was the case, but then decided against it. It was none of his business. "Thanks," he coughed out instead, throat raw from the steam he'd inhaled. "I wasn't asleep," he added. "But thanks."

She smiled again. He could see that she liked to smile; she had cute little dimples in her cheeks, and laugh lines around her mouth that showed she did it often. It made him feel like he should smile back to make her happy, to make sure she never stopped smiling, no matter what, because the only other person who'd smiled that brightly, dimpled and carefree… but by the time he'd thought of it, she was already turning around to go back to her earlier spot and restart her game of marbles with herself. She'd placed his tunics on the ground next to her, which he was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to, and it amused him, because she was very obviously bad at her job, and at least like this, he could always cheer himself up that he wasn't the only one.

A short while later, the door to the bath opened, letting a whoosh of colder air inside, and two people stepped inside, walking side by side, deep in conversation. Kam hadn't seen Hannah for days, and he was surprised at himself that he felt such a spark of pleasure at seeing her again. They hadn't spent a lot of time together yet, only ever meeting in the early mornings or late evenings.

She was listening to Griffin right now, with a big, delighted grin on her face as he talked a mile a minute, not quite loud enough for Kam to overhear everything, but he did make out the occasional word, and the ones he caught made it seem like it was culinary details they were sharing. Maybe, he smirked inwardly, Griffin had snuck into the kitchen again. Florence loathed his clumsiness, but Kam knew she wasn't immune to little Griffin's charm, which seemed to only grow more potent the better Griffin got settled.

"Kam Kam Kam Kam Kam!" the boy was yelling now, finally having spotted that they weren't the only people in the room. He pulled off his tunic, handed it off to the girl without sparing her a glance and jumped into the water butt-first, making a splashing sound, and covering the surrounding floors with water.

The girl was looking on in horror. Kam suppressed a snort of laughter. It was a little mean. She was the one who'd have to clean it up later. He didn't have time to consider this for too long, though, because Griffin was already hanging around Kam's shoulder, pressing close, rubbing their bodies together in a way that was not benefitting the rules they all had to abide, meaning Kam's dick suddenly became very interested in the events.

"Fin," he tried, pressing Griffin's shoulder. "Unless you want there to be an accident, you should probably take your hand off my private parts."

He hadn't heard Hannah join them, but she was right by his ear when she laughed at him. "Don't worry," she teased. "I don't think accidental orgasms count towards that."

"I think I'll leave that up to my master to decide," Kam told her, and was relieved when Griffin let go and started pushing off the wall to swim to the other side with firm strokes and then back again, like a fish caught in a bowl.

"Such a good boy," Hannah smiled and patted Kam's cheek. "We haven't seen each other in a while. How are you? And how come we always meet during bath time? Are you trying to tell me something?"

Kam flustered. "Maybe subconsciously."

That made Hannah laugh, which was always a nice sound. "I'll be in my room, waiting, then. Just in case your subconscious decides to make you sleepwalk."

"Very funny."

"It would be funnier would you stop flirting and, like, help me wash," Griffin suggested, wriggling his eyebrows, and that, finally, made Kam join in the laugh, because Griffin could not for the world of him imitate a leer, as much as he would have liked to be able to. It also hid his embarrassment better than stumbling over explanations of how he wasn't flirting. It was harmless and he knew nothing would ever come of it, and that sort of made it safe and easy, and maybe that was another reason why he did it in the first place.

"Come here, then." Hannah crooked her finger in Griffin's direction, and added, "We do need to wash that stink from the burned sauce off of you." She turned to Kam and grinned widely. "He snuck into the kitchen, charmed the pants off Florence, and bugged her into making his favorite dish, only to then distract her to the point where she let it burn."

"She'll never forgive you," Kam told Griffin with a reproachful sigh.

Griffin widened his eyes comically and asked, in a small voice, "Even if I tell her I'm really, really sorry, and bring her a single white rose of apology?"

Hannah snickered and smacked the back of his head lightly. "Come on, lover-boy. Wash-up time. Kam? You helping out?"

Kam waved her off, and gave Griffin an apologetic shrug. "No, I'm starting to shrivel up. I have to get out of the water. Have fun, though. Maybe next time?"

"All right," Griffin said. He sounded disappointed. "See you later?"

Kam waved and got a towel, plus his fresh tunic from the girl, slipping it over his still-moist body, before he grabbed the dirty tunic for laundry. "Thank you," he told her again, giving her the smile now that he'd been too slow to show earlier.

"Welcome," she said shyly, not looking at him, and stepped back, letting him leave.

 

~*~

 

He was still hard when he arrived at his room. He hadn't had sex since last morning, because Al had been too tired the night before, and he'd gotten into a routine with that so quickly this time, it was really scary. Any sort of routine was dangerous, no matter how often his master promised to be better from now on.

Still, an erection was easy to take care of, in comparison, and Kam lay down on his back on top of his bed, slipping his hand under his tunic to grab his cock, running his fingers up and down easily, exactly the way he liked it best, not too hard, but not butterfly touches either. He hadn't put on any underwear yet. He though his master enjoyed that too, sometimes, after bath time, just being able to put him on his knees to fuck him without having to bother with more material to get rid of.

He slipped a finger into his body, then two, biting down on a moan, and jerked himself harder, imagining sinking down onto Al's hard dick. He imagined positioning himself before he buried it inside his body with a quick slide downwards, and he led the rhythm as he thrust his hips up and down, controlling the speed of the motion, how deep Al could fuck into him. He pulled off his fingers, slowly, and then took them deeper than before, imagining himself sitting down fully, taking it to the hilt, feeling completely full and shifting, clenching his muscles to drive Al crazy, make him reach up for a kiss.

Kam stifled a groan, a gasp, and his hand was covered in sticky fluid as he came, feeling himself contract around his fingers. It felt good, but too little, too soon. He moved his head back into the pillows, relaxing his neck muscles, and took deep, measured breaths, trying to get himself back under control. His fingers slipped free, and he let them, rested, flat and laid out, exhausted.

He tried not to think too hard about why that mental image, or why that situation. He had different dreams, different fantasies, involving all sorts of things. It wouldn't do thinking about it too hard.

Instead, he reached down for the dirty tunic by his bed to wipe off his hand and his belly - he would surely have to do laundry after this, no longer able to push it off – and then let it fall back to the floor as he curled up into himself and felt his eyes fall shut by themselves. Sleepiness overtook him, and he only almost forgot that he was supposed to go up to his master's bedroom this evening. Despite remembering, though, he couldn't bring himself to get up and move, and convinced himself that it probably wasn't even all that late yet. He could nap for an hour and go later, for sure.

 

~*~

 

A few hours later, Kam was startled awake by the sound of a knock at the door. He sat up with a groggy feeling to his head, and let out a groan of pain when his lashes stuck to his eyes. He was sticky and uncomfortably in need of another bath – and he caught himself letting out a loud but rough, "Yes?" before he could reconsider. By then, it was too late, and the realization that the room reeked of sex and that he looked like death warmed over made his face heat up in embarrassment.

Of course, with his luck, it was his master who popped inside, head-first, nose wrinkling. His eyes widened at the sight that greeted him, body swift following before he closed the door behind him.

Kam swallowed. He had the sudden desire to get on his knees, and maybe hide his face by putting it to the floor, and the only thing keeping him back from actually doing it was the look on Al's face, which was neither disapproving nor angry. On the opposite, alongside the startled curiosity, his eyes was filled with lust and desire as he let his gaze wander up to meet Kam's own.

"I, uh, I was wondering where you were," he finally said. "You fell asleep?"

"Yes, master," Kam admitted. "I'm sorry." He rubbed his eyes, trying to inconspicuously wipe the sand away.

"It's fine, I was just worried," Al assured him. "I remembered I didn't even talk to you yet today, not really, so I thought we could spend some time together. Do you want to come up my room to sleep?"

Not just sleep, as far as Kam could see, and what kind of question was that? He didn't let anything show of his thoughts, though, just swung his feet off his bed and stood, saying, "If it please my master."

Al flapped his hand, face drawing in offense. "Don't give me any of that crap, it was an honest question. If you wanted to stay here, you know you can."

Kam stopped, taken aback. "Is that what you want?" he asked softly.

"No, I told you, I want you to come with me, but if you don't want that –" Al huffed. "Never mind." He reached out his hand, and his whole body relaxed when Kam, relieved of not having to make any choices, caught it and twined their fingers together. Sometimes, the trying also got a little bit out of hand. Kam didn't like those times as much. It felt strangely like his master was treating him like a free person and it made Kam very uncomfortable.

"Okay. Okay, let's see." It was like he was going through a mental list of things, and Kam was very close to asking what was up with that. But then Al asked, "Is there anything else you need?" and he lost his train of thought.

"No, master," he said honestly. He never brought anything, anywhere.

Then he noticed Al looking at the crumpled, discarded tunic by the bedside floor, and felt himself flush crimson at the state of it, but not only with embarrassment, because Al's gaze swayed back to him, landing on his mouth, before it slowly slid downwards, over his throat to his chest and lower. Kam knew looks like this. They were never subtle, especially from Al who probably wasn't used to hiding them in the first place – and why would he? It wasn't like anyone was going to say no to him.

Especially not Kam. It had been a little while since he'd gotten himself off; and more sex wouldn't be a hardship right now, either, especially if Al didn't suddenly get creative and demand new acrobatics. He hadn't yet. Kam wasn't sure if that was because he wasn't interested in any specific kinks, hadn't them figured out yet, or if he didn't feel comfortable asking, demanding, or even initiating them.

Plus, he was not usually rough in bed. Unless he was angry, which hadn't happened more than twice until now. He didn't look angry now at all. He looked like he wanted to push Kam backwards onto his bed, climb on top of him and fuck him silly. Kam really didn't want to do it here. So he tugged lightly on Al's hand, subtly enough that it could be excused as an accident if it was out of bounds, but noticeable enough that Al's gaze jumped up from where it had rested on the small bulge at the front of Kam's tunic.

"We should get a move on, then," Al muttered sheepishly and tugged back, moving to open the door with his free hand, not before he leaned in and suggested what was about to happen by means of kiss.

 

~*~

 

Al managed to hold onto his control for the minutes it took them to get up the stairs and to his room, but the moment the door was shut, he pulled free his hand only to place them both on Kam's hips, drawing him close and into a much deeper, prolonged kiss. Kam obediently opened his mouth to let him in, and gave a little sound of pleasure when Al snuck his tongue in, tracing his bottom lip, using his teeth to mix things up when Kam got too comfortable in the kiss.

He was quick about things, not dragging it all out too long: soon, he had his hand under Kam's tunic, closing his palm around his cock and moving his wrist. At the same time, he was pushing Kam towards the bed until the back of Kam's knees hit the mattress. There, Al took his hand away and parted their lips with a sloppy sound, giving him a last lick. The smile on his face was wide and genuine and hungry.

"You look lovely," he said, and flicked his thumb over Kam's cheek.

Kam felt his whole body grow warm when Al pressed close, rubbing their erections together while his mouth closed over a spot underneath's Kam ear, sucking there, moving his lips down his throat to his pulse point.

"Thank you," was all he managed to mouth.

Soon after, Al made him climb on the bed while he undressed quickly, and Kam shed his tunic as well, drawing Al's eyes back to him from where he was getting the small vial of oil ready that they used for sex. There was the smell of minty autumn again that tended to cling to his skin after they'd slept together these days; he had an immediate association with it by now, and whenever he caught the scent, his stomach grew tight with anticipation.

Al tilted his head to the side, almost like he'd caught something of that reaction and said, "Show me."

"What?"

"Show me what you did before, when you were alone. I want to see."

Kam flushed. It wasn't like he'd never had to do this before; it wasn't that strange a request. But it was still the first time since he was here, and it got more awkward when his master climbed onto the bed with him and didn't move between his legs, like he usually did, like they usually fucked. He just sat at one end and waited, eyes wide and expectant, until Kam dropped his hand to his erection and let his head drop into the pillows, closing his eyes.

After that, it got easier to get into it, let out the little gasps whenever he swept his thumb over the head. Al moved closer; Kam could feel the bed dip and the warmth of his body by his left knee, almost like his master was about to touch, but didn't want to just yet, was waiting for something. There were whispered instructions, "Faster," and "Use your other hand," and when Kam complied, running his left hand down his body, feeling its path over his own skin, Al let out a long breath, warm and moist against Kam's knee, and said, "I wish you could see yourself, you're so amazing," joining their hands together, finally, finally touching Kam, fingertips grazing his bellybutton.

Then Al moved, and Kam opened his eyes to follow his skid, the way his hands found the insides of Kam's legs and pushed them apart, settling between them, but not yet covering Kam's body with his own. "Keep going," he said, with a glance up when Kam stopped stroking himself. His fingers trailed the underside of Kam's cock before stroking the delicate skin behind it and finally rubbing over the rim of his hole, dipping inside with just his fingertips.

"Did you touch yourself here, too?" he asked, holding Kam's gaze.

Kam quickly nodded, hips jerking into the touch. He wanted Al to push past the ring of muscle with his fingers, to stroke him from the inside out.

"Show me how."

It was always a stretch, to reach down like that, put his own fingers inside his body, but it was worth it, it always felt better that way, especially when he came; and it kept the muscles practiced, made it easier when he had to take something bigger than fingers.

This time, it was different, with his master watching, but not harder; he didn't play around, just pressed in, lips tightening at the first push. It didn't hurt much; it had just been a few hours, after all.

"Wait. Here," Al interrupted, and the scent of the oil was back as he spilled it over Kam's fingers, his hole, making the slide easier, smoother; it was a strange sensation now that everything was wetter, more viscid than usually. He moved his fingers, gasped when he hit the right angle and rocked into it, slowly moving his hips back and forth to make it better, get more friction.

"Gods, how can you be so beautiful?" Al asked, running a hand up Kam's leg, over his calf, and his thigh, caressing the smooth skin, looking him up and down.

Kam licked the dryness from his own lips and wished he's stop looking and start doing.

Apparently, his master had the same idea, because he finally covered Kam's hand, still moving up and down his erection, with his own, and started stroking, spreading more of the oil around, slicking up Kam's cock, making the slide of his hand against it better, sleek and efficient. He stopped when Kam got too worked up. Instead he drew Kam's fingers from his body, replacing them with his own.

It was awkward for Kam to watch Al watch as his fingers slipped into his body, first two, then three when they went in easily, stretching, working him to get him ready, and when Al realized Kam was watching him, their eyes met and he grinned, teeth biting into his lower lip. Kam took a deep breath, said, "please," and was rewarded by Al finally getting onto his knees to move on to the main event. He never took out his fingers, though, leaned over Kam to kiss him, and hissed when their erections brushed.

"You're so slick and open for me," he murmured into Kam's skin, almost slipping a fourth finger inside him. "Love you like this, holding you open like this."

Kam's breath hitched, and he accepted the next kiss, and the next, their tongues entwining, before Al broke it again, at the same time as he withdrew his fingers. Their chests pressed together when he positioned himself and slowly pushed into him, and that was when Kam realized he was sweating, out of breath; he'd been a little cold, but not anymore, not with Al lying on top of him, moving his hips in even little ruts, buried completely unless he pulled out barely an inch, thrusting back in just split seconds later.

His dick was hard and heavy inside Kam's body, sliding in and out easily because of the oil, and whenever Al tugged at Kam's hips to position him, he created little jolts that carried up Kam's spine with the thrusts, going deeper and faster, speeding up with every motion.

After all the stimulation, the fingering and the way Al's hand was still closed around his erection, it took no more than a minute, maybe two, of constant thrusting, sparks before his eyes, to come hard over Al's fingers and both their stomachs, making a mess, leaving them both sticky.

But Al wasn't done yet, so Kam didn't let himself fall back into the pillows, worked to push back against the rocking motion, lifting up his legs to make Al's position more comfortable, give him better access. It worked, made Al thrusts more erratic, made him moan whenever Kam clenched his muscles around him hard, feeling him everywhere.

Their eyes met when Al tried to go for another kiss and ended up just pecking the corner of Kam's lips, and Al snorted at the mishap, pressing their faces together as the laughter shook him. Then Kam couldn't hold it back either, because Al's eyes were dancing with mirth, and he give a little giggle too. Al came shortly after, breathing hard, shaking apart above him.

It was nice to come down together, with Al pulling out, letting go, but never taking his arms from Kam, keeping them curled around each other. He smelled nice, and he was warm, and especially when he pulled up the covers around them, despite the stickiness and the still-prevalent scent of the oil and the feeling of general discomfort, Kam couldn't quite help but feel his eyes falling shut.

"You giggle," Al suddenly said into the silence, and his tone of voice was amused. "Like a girl."

Kam pretended to be asleep, but inwardly, he couldn't help the wave of defensiveness that arose and made him want to say, "No, I don't!"

"Not that I don't like it," Al continued. "On the contrary." He pressed his nose into Kam's neck and laughed. "Like a girl."

Kam huffed, and hoped he'd get away with acting like it had been a by-product of a dream. He wasn't sure if Al bought it, but at least, he didn't say anything anymore, just kissed his neck with a loud smacking sound and pulled him even closer, despite the impossibility of the feat.

 

~*~

Tbc...


End file.
